8/19/24 My Mother

My mother passed in her sleep earlier this morning. She was 93 1/2 years old. She lived one of the most luxurious, wonderful, blessed lives that I’ve ever been a party to. And she was an amazing woman who made me everything I am to this day. I am sure I will miss her every single day I am alive. I feel like I now truly understand grief. I didn’t feel this way with my father or my brother and I wasn’t very close with them either. But I was very close to my mother and my grief has been torrential at times and negligible at other times. Grief is just that way. It comes and goes in waves. you’ll think you’re doing really great and something small will remind you and you’ll be a puddle again. I totally get it now. I knew this before, but until you’ve really experienced an earth shaking grief, you can’t fully know how you will react.

I will miss her. This is for sure. both my sister and I expressed to each other that we wanted to die along with her. But that isn’t possible and nor should it be. I will keep her alive in my memories and talking to her probably on a daily basis. I’m just that way. But then you knew that.