Blogs 18/19

01/05/18 Why Staying Friends with Your Ex is SO Important

Let’s face it.  Getting divorced is a bitch.  Everybody’s angry, lawyers are fighting and ringing up charges to you and your spouse by the thousands.  You walk away from it never wanting to see, hear or have anything to do with that person who you found so alluring at one point that you married them.  And the truth of the matter is, if you have children together, you will most likely see that person for the rest of your life.  But, you know what?  It doesn’t have to be this way.  A divorce can be mediated either just between the two of you and one lawyer used to fill out the paperwork or with a therapist or lawyer, who can help the two of you mediate how the divorce will unfold.  I did this with my ex and we are good friends to this day.  We have two sons together and we have always co-parented.  He’s my emergency contact!  I can’t imagine not being able to stay united for our kids sake’s.  They needed that growing up.  We didn’t allow them to play each of us off against the other.  We did this through communication.  I would hate to be on bad terms if our children are getting married, having kids, and making us grandparents.  We will share these experiences the rest of our lives.   After all, who knows our kids better than the two of us?  He’s the same great person I married.  Just not who I want to be married to.  That doesn’t mean we have to hate each other just because our marriage was a sham.  You can’t take away 15 years of history, much less 30.

01/07/18 Saying of the Week

It’s none of your business what other people think about you.

01/08/18 Marriage after 45?

I always have to stop and wonder why did those two get married?  They are both 55, not going to have kids, both secure in their jobs/finances, so why did they feel the necessity to get married at this age?  This is just an example, but I hear of older people (over 45 for simplicity sakes) getting married and I just shake my head.  I blame most of this on women.  I just think that women take more gruff for “shacking up” and want the security of being married.  But I have news for them.  There is NO security in being married.  The way I see it, and I could be out on a limb here, the only reason to get married is if you plan to have kids together.  More 2nd and 3rd marriages fall apart because they try to blend two families.

01/10/18 Getting Back Together

This blog might not apply to many of my clients or blog readers, but I think it’s a valid topic so I’m going to write about it. Simply put, how do you get back together with your spouse when you’ve separated or even divorced? We know this happens all the time, but how does it happen and what roadblocks must the couple traverse to get back to a better, stable place as spouses? I guess my first observation is that they start to “date” again. It’s important to have a lot of quality time together to form that bond that you once had. A lot of divorces occur because people just simply get involved (maybe overly involved) in their own lives and neglect their loved ones. I know of a number of men who complained that they were working so hard to provide for their family, yet they forgot that what their family/spouse needed most was them. It’s a difficult tightrope to walk. I often thought, as a therapist, that this was more of an excuse to get out of the house than it was to provide. And the effect it had was the opposite of what the man thought it would have. And that was that there was a lot of animosity because he wasn’t there to share in the home/family, not the gratitude he was expecting because he was providing so well. So, back to my initial discourse. One thing that is going to have to change for them to reunite is that they have to put in the time it takes to have a good relationship. I know it’s difficult at times to be together as much as you need to, especially if you have small children. Heck, even older kids need a lot of running here and there for sports/activities. But, I cannot express enough how important it is to set aside time each day or even every other day to take stock, plan for the future, and simply be with each other. You married each other based on many reasons that probably have not changed. I do say in another blog that the things that attract us in the first place often become hot issues later on down the road. These need to be dealt with. This is where a good therapist can be very handy. Navigating the landscape of marriage and family life is hard enough on our own, it’s always nice to have an objective 3rd party help. As for sex, I hate to say this once again, but she holds the cards. You can’t force this subject, it has got to come from her. If that was a big issue in the marriage, it’s going to have to be talked about. Whether you do this as a couple or with the help of a pastor/therapist, it needs to be addressed. But ultimately, if you are going to get back together, sex needs to be a factor and it needs to at least start from her. If things don’t pan out and you decide to part ways or stay parted, at least you ended on a better note than when you were angry as hell at each other. There’s obviously something there or you wouldn’t have started dating again. In my experience, people who get married again, usually end up divorcing again anyway. Not always, but there are statistics to back me up. The most important people in a family are the children and if you can stay friendly/cordial, they will fare much better from your break-up.

01/11/18 People Don’t Really Change

I truly believe that people don’t change.  Oh, they may change their weight (for a while) or their hair color, but our fundamental personality?  I’m not buying it.  I’m not saying you can’t change things about yourself, but the quintessential YOU that has been around since about 13 is still the same you today.  Which brings me to another topic/blog that I will do tomorrow entitled “You Married Her/Him”.  More on that tomorrow (don’t want to spoil the surprise).  I even believe that we all have every age that we have lived still inside us.  I know, for myself, that there are times I feel and act 10 years old.  Am I proud of this?  Well it depends what the situation is.  If it’s going on a roller coaster with my son, then yes, 10 is a great age to be at.  If it’s dealing with people at work, not such a good idea.  Our memories, our histories, our families and yes, I am sure we are born with certain inherent characteristics that are just waiting to come out and be our personalities.  All of these things make up who we are.  I remember asking in Social Work school, what Neurotic/Neuroses was and a fellow student jokingly (and not so jokingly) said it was what made us human!  Think about it, we are all a bit neurotic about some things.  Sometimes we call it OCD or anal or maybe anxiety, but in the final analysis, it’s all about neuroses.  Back to the subject.  So what does it mean that people don’t change?  Well, let’s remember that whoever we’re around is who they are based on many things that have NOTHING to do with us.  And that is not to say that you don’t affect them, because we all affect each other that we are in close contact with, but just know that most of what you are reacting to is something you can’t change and neither can the other person.  It also means that who you marry is who you marry.  If you didn’t know that person really well when you got married, you do yourself a disservice which gets me back to tomorrow’s blog!  So many guys I see say “she changed”, but in truth, she did not.  The two of you changed how you relate to each other.  But she’s still who you married and you are still whom she married.

01/13/18 You Married Her…

I hear a lot of complaining about one’s spouse, but I always have a little voice in the back of my brain saying “You married her!”.  I always find it so interesting how some marriages that took place shortly after meeting (less than 6 months) last forever.  Because, in my mind, it takes time, a lot of it, to know a person.  And I think it’s smart how some religions kinda require you to take a family education class or have therapy sessions with the pastor.  

A little bit about me.  I knew my first husband since 2nd grade Sunday School, we were best partying buddies in high school, he always had a crush on me, and I never gave him the time of day until I did.  I later learned that the reason I gave him a chance was so that I would not be alone after college.  I think a lot of people marry so they won’t be alone.  Both women and men.  I divorced my first husband after a year and half of marriage when I realized he was an active, functioning alcoholic.  I think I drove him to it, but I really did not want to be married to an alcoholic.  He’s on his 3rd wife and I do believe 3’s a charm!

If you find yourself doubting your marriage, ask yourself “Did I know this about her when I married her?”  or him.  If the answer is yes, then the problem is not with her.  After all, she’s always been this way.  If the answer is no, then why is that?  Did you just not know enough about her?  Has she changed, as in the case of my alcoholic husband?  Have you changed, become less tolerable?  

In the final analysis, only you can decide if you can tolerate your spouse, your marriage, and your role in it.   Remember how I said that people don’t change?  Well, can you tolerate your spouse if you know she will never change?  I hate to sound like a broken record, but I have to once again suggest a therapist if you are thinking of leaving. 

01/14/18 When Is It Time To Divorce?

A client recently asked me this question and, to say the least, it was a humdinger.  And one which I have dealt with dozens of times in my therapy office.  I think the first thing I look at is do you have kids together?  I ask this question because if you don’t, that makes all the difference in the world.  I believe that we need to be just as care-full of our children as we do ourselves.  That is not to say you shouldn’t get divorced if you have kids, but it raises the stakes to a much higher level.  When I decided to divorce my first husband, we had no kids so, for me, it was a no-brainer.  Even my therapist at the time agreed with me.

The next question I ask is “Have the two of you been to at least 6 months of therapy, once a week?”.  If this has NOT occurred, I think you are doing yourself an injustice.   If for no other reason, you should go to understand your part in your marriage and possible divorce.  And if you think you have no part in it, you are sorely mistaken and REALLY need the therapy.Questions to ask yourself are:  Do you still love her/him? Do you still have satisfying sex (if you ever did)?  Do you still enjoy being together and doing things together?  Is she/he your best friend?  Are you committed to making the marriage work?  This last question is really crucial because I found, as a therapist, that the couples who shared a committment usually worked through their issues.I can’t stress the following enough.  IF YOU ARE COMING TO BLOWS OR IF YOU OR YOUR SPOUSE IS BEING ABUSED, IT’S TIME TO GET SEPARATED.  You can still work with a therapist, but it is important, for everyone’s safety, that you be apart for now.  Abuse is a very good reason for divorce, even and especially when children are involved.  They do NOT need to see this, much less be abused themselves.Divorce should not be looked at lightly.  You need to figure out who will be involved, how they will deal with it (including yourself) and whether it’s worth it or not.  I need not remind you that Providers are somewhat of a marriage saving instrument that you can use.  Heck, with this provider, I can even help you figure things out!

01/15/18 Therapist…

Just to set the record straight, I was a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of Missouri, had a private practice in St. Louis for 10 years and enjoyed this line of work very much.  So if I do a little prying into your life it’s only that I’m so used to doing it.  If you’d rather me not do this, all you have to say is “It’s a personal matter” and I’ll shut up!

01/16/18 Admiration From Afar

I received the most lovely email today and I want to share it here.  All identifying information has been deleted or changed.

Dear Older Professional,

I’m not sure where to start.I began looking for a Provider on the net but didn’t really know that I was looking for a Provider.I know that sounds confusing.Let me give you a little background.I am 49 and have been married for 25 years, have X kids and my wife is going through menopause.Her libido went from sexually active to not interested in sex.On top of that, my homemaker wife is looking at our soon to be flying from the coop children and realizes that we have grown apart as we have been running our kids around in life for the past 20 years.We are currently in counseling (for that last year or so) and trying to make our marriage work.We love each other but we are also dealing with relationship issues (feels like we’ve grown apart) that makes our sex-life difficult for her emotionally, and add to that, due to her loss of libido along with her bad back, she’s really not interested in sex.I like to cuddle but I of course like to let my hands wander over her body and love to feel her ample portions, and at some point, hoping that it might lead to something but she is just not interested in the sexual portion of cuddling anymore, or sex for that matter.

So I found myself looking for some kind of release, which, I know, that you know, exactly what I mean.I have been faithful to my wife and don’t want to have an affair.I began looking on the net for something but I didn’t know what.I was searching in my area but just didn’t find anyone that enticed me.They were either too young or just scary.So I broadened my search to areas where business has taken me in the last few years and KC was one.And then Bam!!!, I saw your profile on a site and you intrigued me.You are pretty, older, mature and voluptuous…don’t get me wrong beautiful young bodies are nice to look at but I could tell you have character in more ways than I can describe.I then went to your website and oh my goodness!Once I started reading your blog I couldn’t stop.I found myself totally engrossed as you described exactly where I am in life and it brought tears to my eyes.You were the first person that I felt knew what I was going through.I wish I lived near KC as I undoubtedly would visit you if just to enjoy your afterglow.

You are very special…very unique!!!Your background is just amazing and you are clearly a highly skilled therapist on numerous levels.Thank you for your website…thank you!  I believe I went through and read every page I could.I am not sure I would be able to find anyone around my area who is as unique, and skilled, and professional, as you are.I am sure I will not pull the trigger on using a Provider unless I were able to find someone like you – and I am quite sure that is nearly impossible.For now, I will continue to take care of things myself (in the hopes that my wife’s libido will return) and I am especially thankful for your pictures (especially the one where you are wearing a green/teal g-string…you have a beautifully ample rump and the closeup of your hand is amazing!! – You have beautiful hands that I don’t doubt they deliver amazing pleasure with your caresses).I could go on even more about you, your website, your insights…you truly blew me away and opened my eyes to things I am going through right now, it helped me in more ways than you can imagine…to that I say…THANK YOU!And that ALL CAPS THANK YOU does not portray my deepest and truest gratitude…you are awesome!

My job might bring me to KC again this year, and if at all possible I will try and make an appointment.But if not, THANK YOU!


Frustrated yet grateful husband

01/17/18 And Then I Got This

Someone left this in my comments section:

“You are so full of shit (yourself). You aren’t anything really that you claim to be here, with your kids or your family. Just an old,saggy,fat money-hungry Jewish pigslut who lies every time her snout opens…, there is not enough Holy water or soap to wash you clean”I have no idea who left this for me, but the hatred displayed is scary.  Naturally, I would say he needs help.  Really.  Can you say “Anti-semitic”?

01/20/18 Why Do You Stay Together?

I‘ve often asked this question when my clients and I are getting to know one another.  It helps me understand where my client is coming from and what types of issues he’s dealing with.  I get a variety of responses:

        • Because it’s too expensive to get divorced.  This is probably the biggest reason, especially for retirees.

        • Because I love her and it’s not worth giving that up.  Touche!  Let us remember that sex really plays a small part in our marriages.  I’m not saying it’s not a vital part of any healthy relationship, but when push comes to shove (and you already know the sex thing is up to her), is it really worth leaving?

        • Because we have kids together and it would devastate them.  Good reason, very good reason.  And so true.

        • Because I don’t want to be alone.

        • Because she couldn’t get along without my help.

        • Because she’s my best friend.

All very good reasons.  I have talked in the past about when it’s time to leave, but I think before you make that decision, you need to think about what this blog is saying.

01/21/18 Is it or Is it Not Vanilla?

A client in his 30s comes in and states he has a wife and 3 fairly young children (7-11).  His wife and he try to keep some semblance of a sex life going, if only once a week or every other week.  But what perked up my ears was when he told me that she knows what does it for him and he knows what does it for her and they pretty much always go for that because they know it will get the job done with a minimum of time wasted.  Typically, she is exhausted when he wants to have sex and he wants it way more than he’s getting.  But, hey, at least he’s getting.  And he could see that he did have it much better than most guys with 3 kids under 12.  Yet, I asked the question that I had to ask.  Was it Vanilla?  His answer was “Yes and No”.  Yes in what I just described as going for what will get them off the quickest, but also at times being creative and trying new things.  When time permits.  It sounded like a perfectly normal marriage with three sex-killing kids (so what’s new?) and two demanding jobs.  Needless to say, this client basically has a provider in every port.

02/26/18 Fetishes…

I made a joke the other day that my 96-bottle collection of nail polishes was a fetish, but upon closer inspection, I had to change the wording from fetish to hobby.  A true fetish is something out of the ordinary that gets you off.  Nail polish does not get me off, but I sure do like them.  The man who wanted me to write this blog has a foot fetish.  This type of fetish seems to be the most popular.  I’m not going to write that I am the knowledge base of fetishes, but I have encountered a few along the way.  Feet, leather, women’s clothing/lingerie, cuckolding, to name a few.  Maybe it’s that I am just so open-minded that none of these things surprise or disgust me.  To me, they just are.  Kind of like how I like using my vibrator to get off.  It just is and I don’t feel the need to judge myself or anyone else in this fashion.  We all have our idiosyncrasies, it’s what makes us unique.  And as far as where they come from, well we still don’t really understand sexual preference, but we do know that these preferences are set by age 5.  I imagine that fetishes are set in us at an early age also and we either give into them (come out of the closet at least with ourselves) or we don’t until a later date.  Fetishes are strong, they will rear their “ugly” head from time to time and it’s difficult to say no.  The best way to have a fetish is to accept it, work with it, have fun with it, find someone very accepting and go with it!

02/26/18 Gay/Lesbians

I’ve been meaning to write about gays and lesbians for some time.  My sister is a lesbian and has been married for 23 years to the same woman.  Laurie didn’t come out until she was 29 years old.  We always knew she was a little different, but we never suspected this.  I played a significant part in her understanding her orientation because I turned her on to these self-awareness seminars called Insight.  This was back in 1988.  I have since come to realize that gays and lesbians do NOT have a choice about being gay.  I mean, come on, think about it.  If they had a choice, why would anyone choose to be gay?  Yes, it’s becoming more accepted, but you still can’t hold hands in public, much less kiss.  This is something that most researchers believe is formed by the age of 5.  This obviously does not account for the many women who do chose to be with women because they have been abused by men in their past.  This is a choice, but for women, it’s more about lifestyle than it is about sex.  Thought for the day? “Live and let live”.

03/13/18 Long-term Companionship vs. 15 Minutes of Sex

I ask about and often hear a lot about how a man’s wife doesn’t want sex anymore.  Her libido is gone.  This can happen at any time.  Especially after a hysterectomy/menopause.  What happens after a hysterectomy is that the woman goes through menopause in about a two-week time period.  After a woman goes through menopause, many find that their libido is not at all what it used to be.  This is whether they are 30 or 55, menopause has some pretty major side effects, the important one here being that she just does not want to have sex.  So what are you to do?  Well, as a Provider I would say find a regular, good provider to take care of your needs.  Let’s talk about those needs.  Before menopause/end of sex, you maybe had sex once a week or every other week if you were lucky.   And that probably last 15 to 30 minutes.  But what you married this woman for and what you hopefully still have is companionship.  And I truly believe this companionship is more important than sex.  Especially sex with someone who really doesn’t want to have sex.  If you don’t have companionship and you don’t have sex, then all you really have are finances or kids/grandkids together.  I would say if you don’t have companionship, something is very wrong and needs to be addressed.  Unfortunately, the lack of sex is probably not going to change.

03/31/18 What it takes to be a good Provider

For some reason, this topic just popped in my mind and I thought I’d share my views on it with you.

        1.  They should be cheerful and welcoming when they meet you at the door.

        2. They should be clean and fresh smelling, but not use any perfume.

        3. It would be nice if they were pleasant to be around.

        4. Their place of business should be clean and uncluttered.  There should be no food or food wrappers laying around.

        5. They must be accommodating, within reason and being respectful of their rules.

        6. A good provider will be cautious in who she sees and will either verify him beforehand or have him disrobe in another room.

        7. She should never ask you to do anything for her.

        8. She must never contact you unless you contact her first.

        9. She should let you be the one to get up to leave first unless she is booked back to back.

        10. They should make sure you are comfortable and offer you a beverage0

4/07/18 Saying of the Week…

“Too old to be young and to young to be old”. 

04/13/18 Happy Friday the 13th!

I just want to say that I believe I have said to each and everyone of my clients that I will NEVER call you, text you, or contact you in any manner until you ask me to by contacting me first.  If I did not say this to you, my apologies.  I’ve heard of many escorts calling old clients (even ones they haven’t seen in years) to drum up business.  All I need for business is this website, my stellar skills and that “oh so pretty” face of mine.  And the 44Ds don’t hurt either.

Update 4/13/18:  I had 3 callers that day.  I’ve been averaging 3-4.  I’m very appreciative of everyone who has spent time with me!

04/15/18 My First Week without Backpage

I am happy to say that both regulars and newbies came through to see me succeed in my first week without Backpage.  I feel like I’m waiting and I have no control over advertising myself, but it hasn’t really seemed to matter.  I’m talking with a few other escorts who do not have websites and I think they wish they did.  I believe that this site has been a great advertising mechanism for me.  I’ve offered my services for creating websites, but I think the fact that mine has been up since 9/2016 makes a big difference.  In fact, I’ll bet there are still guys in Topeka that look at it.   Once again, if you see any one site coming to the fore as far as advertising is concerned, please let me know.  Escort Babylon and Erotic Monkey are not it, sorry to say.  You know, for once, I feel kinda bad for all those 20-somethings that have no regulars because they are so rude!  I know we all make our own bed and I”m sure there are 20-something gals who had a clue, but you also have to think that those girls don’t really know what they are doing…And can I say, once again, it is never appropriate for an escort/provider call or text you.  That should be discouraged.

04/16/18 Just a little Affection goes a long way

I‘ve come to realize that most of my clients want my attention and affection because they are getting none at home.  Okay, there may be a FEW who could give a shit, but I know the older they get, the more this is important to them.  Touch, pure simple touch and holding.  The problem is, when they try to perform this with their wife, she shies away because she thinks you are trying to lead to sex (which you might be).  You need to make her believe that what you want is simple affection and that it DOES NOT need to lead to sex.  Start by holding hands, move to putting your arm around her.  You know, like when you were first affectionate.  Since sex is clearly out of the picture, at least you two can have affection.  You have me for the other needs.

04/17/18 Success?

I keep saying that this is a crazy business and with our advertising mechanisms seized by the government, this business is even crazier. But that doesn’t stop me from having a really good day even if it was preceded by a really shitty one.

If you are a provider sitting around doing nothing on a Tuesday afternoon and you have even OFFERED REDUCED RATES, something is wrong and I think the something wrong is Backpage being gone.   I’ve got a new client coming up from Springfield, MO because he knows I’m going to leave this profession and he wants to meet once to see who writes these blogs!  Hey, it was good while it lasted!  And I’ll be here still until 6/15/18 at least.

04/20/18 First Time Jitters

I want to say that at least 80% of the guys that come to spend time with me for the first time are NERVOUS (yes capitalized!).  I always offer these guys a return visit (where I know they won’t be near as nervous).  But I also think there are some exercises that you could do to prepare yourself, especially if this is your all-time first visit to a provider.  I think you should try to visualize how you want things to go, how you’ll feel, what you want from me.  This will not only get you in the mood, but you can share this fantasy with me.  Secondly, if you know that you already have issues with ED, please take that little blue pill.  I’m not embarrassed by this but most older guys are.  So either take the necessary measures to make sure you will be pleased with our session or accept that what will come will come, or not.  If you know that you are quick on the draw, especially the first time, let me know that so we can enjoy ourselves in other ways also.

04/21/18 You Keep This Up and I’m Not Going Anywhere!

Backpage?  Who needs it!  I seem to be doing just fine without it.  Oh sure, I have a rotten day here and there, but I always seem to spring back the next day.  I thank my lucky stars and my hard work that this website has done so well for me.  Even now, I’m getting new clients who had saved my website!  Thank you, Kansas City, for supporting me and keep up the good work!  I know I will be!

04/22/18 My 2nd Week post Backpage!

Well, it’s been 2 weeks and it still feels strange to have no advertising avenue, but then I think it’s kinda nice not paying $100 each week to post on BP.  And then I look at the fact that Backpage leaving has not affected my bottom line whatsoever!  Do I have my website to thank for that?  YOU BET!  In part, at least.  I’m getting myself on so many sites, I can’ t keep up!  But whatever I’m doing, one thing is for sure, I’m just as successful as I ever was!  If you haven’t found out why yet, come on over to my place!

04/23/18 This needs to be said…

I just want to say that I really do love what I do.  I choose what I do.  And nearly half the men I meet just astound me with what they’ve made of themselves and their lives.  I feel blessed to know some of the men I meet.  Not all, mind you, but many of you just make my day!  If any Law Enforcement are reading my blogs, know this: I choose to be an independent provider who abhors human trafficking, but loves what she does.  I feel it is a shame that you feel you need to sting providers who are not being forced or coerced to do what they do.  You need to go after the pimps and traffickers.  For they are the true villains.

04/24/18 Riddle of the Week

What happens once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years?

04/29/18 Give and Give and Give…

It seems like all I do is give and give and give.  And I’m not talking about work.  But you would think that I would have thousands socked away and I don’t.  Because I give it all away.  And, I have to be fair, I like nice things and nice food and the comforts of life.  I’m not one to go without, but it’s giving to myself.  So at least I do that.  But if you knew how much money I give away to people, it would simply amaze you.  If things with work continue to go the way they seem to be going, I’m going to, at the very least, be scrounging.  I’m really in a quandary.  I need to save money to move onto something else, but I can’t save money when I’m not making enough to save any.  Something’s gotta give.  I’m sorry to be such a Negative Nancy.  It’s really hard not to be.

05/07/18 Is it Possible to Miss Topeka?

I lived in Topeka for 26 years and know that most of it is a sespool, but I can’t help but miss it for these reasons:

        • My kids live there.

        • You can get anywhere driving in 15 minutes or less.

        • They have all the retail chains in a town where everything is 15 min or less away.

        • Unlike Raytown, they actually have handfuls of restaurants, not 3.

        • It was my home for 26 years.  

05/09/18 Yiddish word of the week

Chutzpah is this week’s Yiddish word.  The CH is more like a K.  It basically refers to someone who has balls!  Taken from the dictionary:chutz·pah


informal. shameless audacity; impudence.

05/09/18 Another new page on my Website!

Yep, I finally published the book “Notes” I wrote when I was crazy horny.  The words just flew out of my mind and onto a computer.  I don’t know if guys will like it because it’s done from a teenage girl’s perspective and it’s a romantic/sexual story of coming of age.

05/11/18 Good Advice

How can I tell if a client is an undercover cop?

There is a very easy way.  Cops are instructed not to touch.  So you simply pull out an  off-limits body part and see how they react.  If they won’t touch, show them the door.  And no female cop would show anything so that verifies me while I’m verifying you!

06/29/18 This One’s NOT About Me

I’ve talked in the past about how gays/lesbians don’t have a choice about their sexual proclivity.  Well, I’m here to say that the same can be said about men who like to dress in women’s clothes or women who want to be seen as men.  All these fetishes are not really fetishes, they are a way of life, just like being gay/lesbian.  Sexual orientation is formed by 5 and, even if that person doesn’t realize his or her sexuality at this young age, the stage is set for when they do finally realize it.  When I wrote this blog before, I got a very heartfelt review from a man who has wanted to dress in girls clothes since about the age of 6.  My own sister didn’t figure out her sexual preferences until she was 29.  Some guys are 50.  No telling.  But I hope you take from this blog that just because someone is different from you sexually, does not make it wrong.  As they taught us on the first day of Social Work school “Different is not Deficient”.

06/22/18 Questions

I recently had a client who responded to every one of my questions “That’s a private  matter”.   And I mean every one of my questions and those of you who know me, know I ask a lot of questions.  So after the 6th question, I got the idea “Hmmm, he doesn’t want to talk” and I shut up.  If you don’t want me to talk during our sessions, just say so.  You won’t hurt my feelings.  It’s second nature as a Social Worker to ask questions and delve into people’s lives.  Besides, I want to get to know you and for you to know me.  I want you to be a regular of mine and I feel if we know about each other, we’ll feel comfortable with each other.I’ve said this before in one form or another.  What most people, working 9-5 jobs have a great deal of is consistency in their life.  They know what their paycheck will be, what they can plan for and they probably do a little bit of saving.  My occupation has no consistency whatsoever.  I never know when a guy will call/text wanting to see me.  And it may be 1 guy in a day or 5!  Thanks for Obamacare or I’d have no insurance.  I’m glad the republicans have not figured out how to replace it yet.  Part of this blog should be the fact that I give my older son $1800 every month.  That’s a whole nother blog!

9/29/18 Stood up by a 58-year-old

It’s bad enough when a 28-year-old stands you up. You can expect the 20 somethings to not show which is why I don’t make appointments with 20 somethings. But for a 58-year-old man to tell you that he’s on the way twice and then not show up is inexcusable. I always wonder what goes through these guys minds when they don’t show. Did they get afraid that I might be a cop, did they decide it wasn’t worth the money or are they just nervous as hell because they’ve never done this before. Whatever the reason, it’s never a good thing to do wrong by somebody else who’s only trying to do right by you.  I have a saying and it goes something like this “what goes around comes around”. I truly believe in karma.

10/13/18 My Son is a Hoot!  Story #1

He calls me up one night in March and asks me how much ($$$) would it be worth to me if he got his drivers license.  And since his birthday was last September, I was wondering (and anticipating) when he would finally get over his anxiety and take the plunge!  I think so many 17-year-olds are putting it off because they have camaradarie online, whereas when I was his age, we all had to drive to see each other.   There was no online. Internet was a good 8-9 years off.  So I asked him what he thought was fair knowing the angst he had over this.  He said $100, I concurred.  And then, this little shit proceeded to tell me he just got his driver’s license!  Did he play me or what?  More to come…

10/13/18 Is There Really One Person Who’s The Best?

Sure, I advertise I’m the best and I have a handful of reviews that attest to this, but really how do I know I’m the best?  I hear it from my customers but they may just be saying that to appease me.  I do know this.  I’m good.  Very good.  And I’ve spent the last 3 years getting good.  No, I didn’t watch porn.  I didn’t practice on a dildo.  What I did was practice on you!  Any woman can tell when she is having the desired effect.  I built on this and kept a memory log of what worked and what didn’t.  And then I had an old boyfriend be my guinea pig, so to speak, and he honestly told me I was 10 times better than 6 months ago.  Once I put my mind to it, it was pretty easy to figure out what sent a man to heaven and I just kept doing more of that and expanding on it.  Now if I could only deepthroat!

10/13/18 Position of the Decade:  Doggie Style

I swear I have never known a man who didn’t come from this position.  No matter what we have done up until then, turn me over and spread my legs!  Works every time.  But the poor woman who is up against an 8+” dick.  Guys won’t get this, but if he goes deep enough (and he will), it feels like a pap smear.  Not a good feeling.

10/13/18 What I’ve Learned About This Business

        • This is, for the most part, a really shady business.

        • If you find an escort who is honest and on the up and up, stick with her (especially if she’s good at what she does!)

        • Use and P411 to verify the escort before you see her.

        • Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from the 20-somethings.  They are only trouble.  See my earlier blog about them if you want to know what kind of trouble.

        • It’s very likely that an escort will have a wonderful day only to be followed by a horrible day.  You hope it all evens out.

        • It’s much safer doing this from a house than anywhere else.  Trust me, I’ve done hotels, duplexes, and apartments and my quaint little house is 10 times safer.  Especially if you get to know your neighbors and you are a good neighbor in return.

        • Some escorts are better than others, but none of them are worth $500 per hour.  If you go see one of thee gorgeous high-dollar escorts, make sure it’s on your bucket list.  Why else would you shell out 5 bills.

        • If you like working 3-5 hours a day, this is the job for you!  I’m sure some escorts work more, some less, but it’s definitely not 9-5.

        • You might get smitten with your provider or the other way around, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved.  This is an unpredictable occupation and jealousy can be a real thing.

10/13/18 Factoid of the Week

20% of men do not orgasm from a blow job.

25% of women have orgasms vaginally.  The other 75% cum clitorally.

11/5/18 Roommates

Well the first guy I got was unemployed at the time he moved in.  He must have given me his last $480 (yes, rent is $500).  I, being the MSW, could not throw him out until I got so sick of him, I COULD throw him out.  Last I heard, he was sleeping in his truck and had just gotten a job that we’re all hoping he keeps.My 2nd roommate got to be friends with my first roommate, who never paid me a dime after the $480.  But there was a major flaw to this man’s character.  And he was the NICEST guy you’d ever want to meet.  But he was MANIC.  And I do mean MANIC.  He’d never stop talking and he’d move from one subject to another saying that they had to do with each other.  He was bat shit crazy and, even though I liked him, I couldn’t STAND him.  The first guy was more companionship than this guy who you couldn’t possibly keep up with.  And he told me, and I’m not sure I believe this, NO ONE had ever told him he was manic.  He wasn’t manic/depressive.  Never got depressed that I could see.  Just one of the most manic people I’ve ever met.  And we’re talking 10 years as a therapist!My 3rd roommate, who was supposedly a friend of mine, bailed on me ONE DAY before he was supposed to move in.  I had asked him to pay me a couple days early to clear my bank and he basically forgot.  He used the excuse that a friend had committed suicide the day before.  Ok, I get it.  He’s grieving.  Does that mean you forget everything? I even reminded him.  I think that’s why he bailed.  But this is the same guy who let an alcoholic sleep over at my house when I was in St. Louis and she drank 2 bottles of my wine and threw up all over my bathroom.  Why was I going to have him as a roommate you ask? GOOD QUESTION!So here I am again, by myself, looking for a roommate to help with expenses and companionship.  I need to make sure they have employment, aren’t manic, willing to take out the trash and doesn’t bring alcoholics into the house to drink up all my wine and barf in my bathroom!It really is difficult to find someone you get along with, who doesn’t drive you crazy and pays on time.

11/5/18 Silver/Ginger

I’ve had this one client since I was in Topeka and he was Silver’s client also.  So he is going to take me to where she used to live to give me a better idea of her since we never met but talked on the phone quite often.  She was my mentor, if you will.  She was 68 when she passed away from Leukemia.  She died less than 2 weeks after being diagnosed.  I think she knew she was ill and didn’t want to do anything about it, but my mother told me there have been other cases of people with Leukemia who died very quickly also.  From what I knew of her and what I’ve been told, she was a spunky woman who would do just about anything.  The funniest story a friend of hers told me was that she had a client who wanted to be humiliated so she tied his hands behind his back, face down, and then went out to her living room to have a cigarette!  She would make you sit and talk to her and I think most of her clients enjoyed this.  I wish I had had more time and in-person time to spend with her.  She sounds sage, fun, and very smart.

11/5/18 Hoaxes

The definition of a Hoax is to trick into believing or accepting as genuine something false and often preposterous.  This has happened to me on more than one occasion.  Twice, I’ve been called by “Officers” saying they would protect me if I gave them free favors on a weekly basis.  I’m happy to say I did not fall for these.  My last hoax was from a guy who, I am pretty sure, has called me on more than one occasion.  He has a younger wife with huge boobs (KK) and he wants to see her get fucked, this time by several black guys.  His pitfall is he would not send me a picture of his wife.  Another guy, maybe the same one but I don’t think so, told me he wanted me to help his little cousin lose her virginity.  He called me several times until I put him in my phone book as “Guy with Greek Wife”.  Guys who just call to chat are essentially hoaxes.  They act like they’re going to make an appointment but they don’t.  At so many of my outcalls, they would have drugs but no money.  A big reason I stopped doing those.   On two occasions in Topeka, 20-something guys did not give me the donation up front and then told me their wallets were in their car and they’d be right back.  Yeah, right.  They sped off never to be seen again.  They’re the reason I make sure I get a donation up front.  Especially from new guys.

11/7/18 Poor Me

Dan, Roommate #3 that bailed a day before moving in, would say that I was saying “Poor Me” in this blog.  But I’m here to say that not everything about being a provider is hunky dory.  The reason this website is so prolific is because I have so much time on my hands.  I ask myself, why am I not being called?  And then the phone starts to ring in the afternoon and didn’t stop until 12.  How crazy is that?  I ask myself, on a daily basis, should I even be in this business.  I really thought that being a CAT adjuster was a good idea, didn’t think about the fact that I had no experience in anything related to it.  I just don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t this.  And it’s not that I do all that bad, it’s just so inconsistent.  And that gets to me.  So maybe I am saying Poor Me, once in a while isn’t too bad.

11/13/18 Well My Gifted Son Picked a School  Story #3

My son, who I say is a hoot, is going to be a Shocker! Wichita State here we come. I think the smaller school appealed to him because he does suffer from anxiety.  He went to K-State  and hated it. It was too big, too much walking and he hated the dorms. My son is very levelheaded,  so I know that he has thought this through and come up with the best choice for him. Besides, when he’s a CPA, it’s not going to matter so much where he went to school. Unless he wants to be on the East Coast which he doesn’t.  At least they do have a good basketball team! Update: Turns out that Wichita State does not offer the 3 credit hours for having taken the Accounting test.  My son is pissed, but still going to Wichita State.

11/13/18 My Older Son and Cars

My 20-year-old son has a way with vehicles.  I think he has owned 8 since he was 17.  The vehicles all look great and we end up putting a lot of money to fix them.  So the latest shenanigans that he got himself into is a humdinger!  He went to Nebraska to trade in his Hummer3 and a very cool Dodge Challenger for a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  Well this kid LOVES to go off-roading and he found himself between a tree and a big mud puddle.  Knowing he would hit the tree if he chose that route, he went through the mud.  The mud was 4 feet deep.  He was completely immobilized and had no cellular service.  Thank God he had 911 in this Jeep or I’m not sure what would have happened.  He was very far into the forest.  So he called 911 and they sent a Park Ranger out to get help for him.  A tow truck didn’t have enough weight/torque to get him out so they brought out a Bobcat and winched him out with that.  He took it to the Jeep dealership and found out there were $7000 in necessary repairs!!  And not all because of the mud, although that didn’t help matters.  The service guy at the dealership is willing to say that the faulty transmission was caused by the “accident” along with most of the other stuff that was wrong.  He has a 30 day warranty from where he bought it but that’s Nebraska and the car won’t run!  And it wasn’t a Jeep dealership so we can’t really ask Jeep Corporation to help out.  And if that weren’t crazy enough, it should still be under warranty because it’s a 2014 with a 5 year/100K warranty.  But the warranty won’t cover everything that the mud did and insurance will.  Especially if a mechanic says the mud caused the damages and items needing repaired.  The only thing that the dealership is not willing to fib on is the brakes which cost $450.  So I told my son, find something that doesn’t need to be fixed this instant and use the money for the brakes.  He didn’t get it.  I’m not sure how he’s going to come up with the $1000 deductible.  But I know one thing for sure, I’m not giving him that money.  I ask myself, why didn’t he just back up and find another way?  But then my first car was a bright orange Jeep Renegade and I got stuck so many times, it was the joke of my group of friends, who always got me out of my jams.  Thankfully, it was never in 4 feet of mud!Update:  My son and ex drove to Portland, made it ok and the next morning the car would not come out of Park.  They had it towed to the Jeep dealership in Portland and they are saying it needs a new Transmission.  There was still mud on the one it has now.  Update:  I finally got smart and called my Credit Card company to do a chargeback on Briggs Dealership who did not fix the car. All we need is a 3rd party to say that the vehicle was not repaired correctly, which it wasn’t.  My son went to the Portland Jeep dealership and they are unwilling to write that letter.  So on Monday I am going to have a little chat with the lady who said this and possibly her supervisor!  I, my ex and son all put the charges on our  credit cards, so smart!  My next phone call will be to the Dealership in Nebraska to see why they are not covering the repairs since they were under their 30-day warranty.  The BBB complaint has fallen on deaf ears.  I very well may threaten  a lawsuit.  Finally, Jeep is coming out to see if the damages (transmission) should be covered under their warranty.  A lady at Jeep tried to tell my son that the warranty starts when it rolls off the assembly line!  So if it sits on a lot for 6 months, you get 6 months less warranty?  Yeh, I don’t think so.  Everybody has to cover their ass. Except for the very helpful man at Mastercard who was more than willing to go after Briggs.  Both my son and ex are doing chargebacks as well.So much of this could have been averted by good decision making.  One, never buy a car you can’t return easily.  Two, have it checked out before you buy it.  Three, do not go through mud in it that you don’t know how deep it is.  And 4, make sure it’s fixed before you drive to Portland in it!The eight cars my son has owned in 3 years:  Dodge Ram, Nissan 300z (which he flipped), a Cadillac CTS (his ex-girlfriends favorite car), 2 Hummer 3s, a Dodge Challenger, a Chrysler Sebring and now a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  I had nothing to with any of them.  My ex and son bought them and repaired them.  I think my ex has gone through his entire 401(K).  Had it been up to me, he would have gotten a beater and said “drive this or walk”.

11/15/18 A Dog?  Really?

A guy I had seen one time calls last night to make an appointment.  And wants to bring his dog with him.  At first, I was like “sure bring fido with you” and then it dawned on me what he really had in mind.  And he confirmed my suspicions.  He wanted me to have sex with his dog!  To say the least, I was outraged.  If I wasn’t in the occupation I’m in, I would have called the police on him.  What a sick man to not only put his dog through that, but me as well.  I can’t even think about it without feeling sick.  What makes a person think such a thing is appropriate or even feasible?  And what was he going to get out of it?  What a sick fuck!  I’m sorry, but that’s just not right no matter how you look at it.

11/19/18 This is What Happens When a 26-year-old Becomes an Escort

A client of mine shared with me that his girlfriend had recently become an escort. He wanted me to help her out and be a mentor to her. She and I texted for sometime and it became very apparent that she was doing several things wrong. Of course, being 26, she was not willing to listen to my suggestions but that didn’t stop me from giving them to her. First off, she is seeing 10 to 15 clients a day. If she has any neighbors, they are going to notice all the cars coming and going. All it takes is one complaint to the police for them to sting her.  Not to mention the fact that she is going to get a reputation as being a high-volume escort.   Secondly, she is upselling bareback sex. I have no doubt that she will get an STD and pass it on to one or more clients. If that were to happen, all she needs is one review stating that they got an STD from her and her days as an escort are over. Not to mention that getting an STD is no fun. I also don’t believe in upselling because it puts the clients in a bad position. He may feel like he needs to accept her upsell but not have enough cash. All in all, I find it to be very underhanded.   She does the same thing with anal. The better way to handle this is to say in her ad that she offers these things for an extra charge. That way, men know upfront how much money to bring. And once it gets out that she  performs bareback sex on many clients, she will lose clients due to the danger of having unprotected sex.   The next mistake she made was to let someone videotape her. They put it on porn hub and blackmailed her into having sex with four men to get the video back. She ended up being raped and beaten. And she did not get the video back and my guess is he probably has several copies. Furthermore, she has decided to work with two pimps.  This is probably her biggest mistake because they will get her on drugs and take most of the money. Why she felt she needed a pimp when she was doing very well on her own is beyond me. All she sees right now is dollar signs but if she isn’t careful, she’ll be seeing herself in handcuffs or with an STD.  She’s the new kid on the block and doing very well but this will not last because someone else will come along and take her place. The problem with young escorts is that they don’t think of the consequences for their safety. I can’t imagine seeing that many men in one day let alone every day.  Every time a man walks into your house you are at risk of being hurt, raped, possibly robbed and otherwise taken advantage of. This is why we take the time to verify the men we see. When you see 10 to 15 clients a day, you don’t have the time to verify them so you take your chances.  As an aftermath, her boyfriend is leaving her because of the volume she is seeing. Being one of the oldest escorts out there, I thought I could help her. But I don’t think she wants my help  and she won’t get it unless she finds some humility. It took me a long time to figure out how to be safe in a dangerous occupation. I hope she figures it out soon.

11/23/18 This is Kinda Weird

When I first started doing this, I would bruise like there was no tomorrow!  I knew, if a guy squeezed me, I would have a bruise the next day.  I realized a day or so ago that I no longer bruise!  I couldn’t begin to explain this, but maybe I have more muscle which doesn’t bruise as easily.  I’m certainly not complaining!

11/28/18 Very Interesting Haircut

I was getting my haircut the other day by a black woman who was quite skilled in her profession. I asked her how she liked Raytown and this was her reply. “I like it for the most part but sometimes it’s a little dark”. I nearly fell off my chair, I couldn’t believe that she would admit that Raytown is definitely dark. Here was this woman of color telling me that Raytown is not always the greatest place to live. For myself, I live in a wonderful house on an all-white street and as long as I don’t venture too far away from home, I feel safe. I had never heard of black woman or man refer to their race as dark. And I certainly have never heard them disdain anyone of their race. But she was being honest. Raytown is about 70% black and there’s a lot of violence and crime and for budgetary reasons the police force is much smaller than it was. The police here have bigger fish to fry than an escort that keeps to herself.

12/5/18 Men Who Have Great Sex at Home Yet See an Escort

I have never understood this.  A man comes to see me and one of the first few questions I have are “Are you married?”, “Do you still have sex?”,  and when the 1 out of 100 says they have great sex at home, I usually ask “Why are you here?” in the nicest way possible.  The answer I get?  “Variety is the Spice of Life”.  Okay, I can accept that, but I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around this need for variety.  It makes me feel that men are not meant to be monogamous.  Or maybe it’s just some men.  I have to believe there are plenty of men out there that never see an escort or have an affair.  My ex was one of those men.  He used porn.  Do you think this is the accepted mode for finding variety?

12/8/18 Thought for the week

If you have 7 appointments but only 3 show up, is that a good day?  I think I was busier MAKING the appointments than conducting them! LOL

12/9/18 Saying of the day

See if you know what this means…

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

12/9/18 GFE

Girl Friend Experience

1. Shows up and acts like she wants to be there.

2. Deep french kisses.

3. Blow Job.  

4. Stays and provides service for the full hour.

If all four criteria are met the provider is known as a GFE.

12/12/18 $700 an Hour?  Really?

There is a provider in KC, Hotwife Taylor, that charges $700/hour.  Now I ask you, would you pay that much to see a 45-year-old escort for an hour?  The only men I can think of who might are those that have nothing better to do with their money!  And how many regulars would she have?  I can’t imagine very many.   Is anyone in KC worth $700/hr?  The only ones who make that and more are the Playboy bunnies and the Pornstars.  And that makes sense to me because they are celebrities.  And they are mainly on the East and West coasts.  If you look at the average donations in KC, they are typically 150 for a half hour and 250 for an hour.  Take a look at ADULT LOOK and you will see what I’m talking about.  And you will also see that my rates are some of the lowest! And then there’s JennaJean Taylor who believes she’s worth $2500 an hour! I have to believe that she’s just plain nuts. If she is really worth that, then she should be on the East Coast. Sure, she has a great body, never shows her face and somehow feels entitled. Besides her body, I can’t find anything special about her. I’m sure every escort has something about them that sets them apart. For me, it’s my lip service. I’ve come to realize that I am the best in Kansas City. But that’s my claim to fame. It certainly isn’t my body unless you like a small BBW. I’m pretty enough but I’m no knockout. But spread your legs and you won’t believe what I can do. Is it worth $700? Not even close but it does keep the men coming back and to me that’s all that matters.Update: I just looked for hot wife Taylor and she is on none of the popular sites. I imagine she’s traveling because at $700 an hour there are only so many men willing to pay that so you have to move on to the next city and so forth and so forth.Update 2/19:  Hotwife Taylor is now Pornstar Hotwife Taylor, and get this.  She is now charging $500 instead of $800!  And she is now showing her face!

12/13/18 My Reviews

A while back it was brought to my attention by an ECCIE moderator that the men on ECCIE-Kansas City were comparing notes about me.  He said they were “branding” me. I was confused as to what he meant by “branding” so he explained.  They were saying I was the best Lip Service in KC.  That was 9 months ago.  If you think I haven’t gotten better in 9 months, you’d be sorely mistaken.  Men who have never cum from a blow job are cumming for the first time by a mouth (and tongue).  Couples are calling me wanting me to teach the wife my technique.  I may not be a young hottie, but I sure do know what I’m doing!  Now that is not all to seeing me, but it doesn’t hurt to be the best at something so darn pleasurable!

12/25/18 The Four (or so) Things I do not do and Why

Anal:  I feel like this is obvious but I really should explain.  I had my gallbladder out and ever since then, I don’t have great control over my bowels. Anyone who has had their gallbladder out knows what I’m talking about.  So not knowing exactly when I’m going to need to go puts a bit of a damper on anal.  Plus, I can’t find anything about Anal that attracts me.  I’ve tried it and it just was not for me.  Please note, this has NEVER gotten in the way of sex or anything else.  BDSM:  Bondage/Domination Sado-Masochism Quite simply, I do not like pain or acting. Face-Fucking:  This is where a man takes the woman’s head and hold it while he fucks her mouth and usually makes her deep throat and gag.  Need I say more? Role-Playing:  Mostly I’m asked to play “Mom” or “Teacher” by guys in their 20s.  I think this is one of the strangest fetishes I’ve come across and I am just NOT an actress.  Not only do I not want to play your Mom, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be your Mom!  I tell the story of trying to do phone sex and lasted 3 minutes!  At least you know I’m not acting with you because I can’t!Other No-Nos: These are things I’m not really into but will do on occasion.

    • Facials

    • 69s ( I can’t concentrate on what you are doing and what I’m doing at the same time!)

    • Hand Jobs (another blog all by itself!)

    • Depositing cum into my mouth instead of letting me swallow.  I NEVER spit!

    • Doggie style if bigger than 8 inches.

12/28/18 Why I Don’t do Handjobs

    1. You’ve been doing them since you were 10, give or take a few months.

    2. Why should I do something that you’ve perfected over years.

    3. You know just how to do it.

    4. You know how fast to do it.

    5. You know exactly where to stroke it.  And most of all,

    6. You have the upper arm strength to accomplish such a fury of a feat!

1/20/19 Comfortable in my Skin

I may not be a size 4 or even 14, but I love myself and my body and I focus on the parts of me that are just absolutely astounding. I can understand that super BBW‘s only have a certain number of suitors, but I think you’d be surprised how big that number is. I’m considered a small BBW or voluptuous or curvy. Either way you put it, I’m overweight. But in my mind, that should not have anything to do with booking a date with me. I once spoke with a moderator on ECCIE and he told me that the men on ECCIE were talking about me and branding me because I was the best BBBJ in Kansas City. I knew I was good but I didn’t know I was that good! So does a client forgo an overweight woman just because she’s overweight but who happens to be the best in Kansas City at what she does? I think that’s pretty shallow. I don’t think you have to be a size 4 to be a good provider. And besides that, I’m 51 so I am the 30-year-olds bucket list and the 60-year-olds diva. I appeal to all ages whereas the 20-somethings definitely don’t get the 60-year-olds. And let me tell you, those 60-year-olds are very generous. I love what I do and I’m good at what I do. I don’t always love my body but I’m comfortable with it. And I think that’s the most important thing I can say here, be comfortable with who you are and don’t take the reviews on Eccie that seriously because after all, they are all from men who may or may not be intelligent.

2/23/19 The Drunk

To say that I am very careful on going to an Outcall is an understatement.  So, imagine my surprise when I walked into a room at a Marriott and the man who answered the door was drop dead drunk!  I had talked to him on the phone and I think I should have known what I was getting into, but suffice to say I did not.  I stayed for about a half hour of him trying to get it up and being unable to.  I left saying to myself that I would never get into this situation again.  I, myself, don’t drink a lot and I’m not around a lot of drunks, so he really took me off guard.  I thought he might sober up given some time, but when I realized he would not, I left.  You’d think that would be that.  Fat chance! 

He called the next day to apologize and I did accept it.  We got together and he was just fine knowing how I felt about our first endeavor.  He talked a lot about me being his girlfriend and him taking “care” of me.  He had said he was separated from his wife and I was to later find out that his definition of separated was simply that he was away from home 40 weeks each year.

The third time he called to make a date, I was convinced he was drunk and appropriately hung up the phone on him.  He called back to say he had been sleeping.  He was fine when I got there and as I was ordering pizza for us, he went into the bathroom to smoke….and get drunk.  It took me a while to realize what had happened, and I think it had something to do with his falling down as he was trying to get his pants on to answer the door for the pizza delivery guy.  He didn’t just fall a little bit, he fell hard against the table, spilled water all over himself and refused to change shirts which was sopping wet.  He also would not stop doing things to me that I started out by nicely asking him to not do that and finally ended up yelling at him to stop.  It was at this point that I knew, without a doubt, he was drunk and I got up to leave.  I think I have a pretty good idea about why he was sleeping during the day.  Can you take a wild guess?

Because I had not been around alcoholics, I didn’t know what to expect.  I always say that outcalls are unpredictable and dangerous.  That is exactly how I felt being with this man.  Was he going to hurt me?  And geez, how annoying he was when drunk.  He wouldn’t take no for an answer and, really, I should have left the minute I knew he’d been drinking.  I’m just glad I had this experience as I will never let it happen again.  I’m learning that I need to trust my intuition a lot more than I have been.  I’m just glad he’s the only drunk I’ve ever had to deal with!

3/8/19 Fibbing

A client and I were having a conversation and I put to him, is lying about your age by 2 years any better than lying about it by 6 years?  I myself think that fibbing about your age is ridiculous, but hey ya gotta play this silly game.  And when I tell my clients my real age, I  have never had a negative reaction.  I could swear to you that the majority (90%) of escorts lie about their age, whether it’s just 2 years or 10.  Heck, you can see it in their pictures!  It simply makes me laugh when I see a 40-something calling herself 35.  What do they think men think?  After a while, it gets pretty easy at telling just how many years they are lying about.  The answer to my question?  It’s never okay to lie about one’s age whether it’s be by 2 years or 6.

3/25/19 Mistakes made, Apologies Given…

An old client of mine sent me an email basically to help me with my business and to give me some suggestions upon moving forward.

1.  Living in Raytown was a big mistake based on the fact that it is a town in transition.  He intimated that some people might think I have a pimp.  I want to assure everyone reading this that I DO NOT have a Pimp, would never think of such a thing and abhor the idea of giving even a dime of my earnings to anyone (except my Millenial son).  This is why I’m moving up North.

2.   Getting a roommate was an even bigger mistake on my part.  I think I did this to take some monetary stress off myself and all it did was cause more monetary stress because no one wanted to be in a house with a stranger downstairs.  I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, this certainly was never my intention.

3.  I’m sorry for ending my blogs.  I now realize how important they are to marketing my business and a lot of people have read every single one.  I’m not going to ask for donations for these blogs, but I still may create a Subscription Blog.  Again, those blogs will be much longer and the first one will be the Story of Me.  I will post an excerpt of this long blog here for you to see if you want to subscribe or not.

4.  You may have noticed that I have taken off all negative, whiny blogs that no one really wants to read.  I want to keep this blog upbeat and funny.

3/20/19 The End?

My Father is on his deathbed.  He had a massive heart attack last night and his blood pressure went so low that they are trying to raise it with medication that makes it hard to breathe.  So, he’s intubated and in the meantime, his kidneys are failing.  We don’t expect him to live through the weekend and will have a small private family funeral for him.

3/25/19 Update on Dad

My father is simply and profoundly miraculous!  His blood pressure came up on its own, his heart is pumping blood (now that they put 4 stents in him), His kidneys are producing urine and, of course, the doctors are saying it’s day by day.  The whole family is waiting to see how he progresses, the doctors are as conservative as doctos are, but each day that passes, he gets better!  I’m going there Sat/Sun to see him.  Can’t wait!  If you’ve read my blogs, you know how much I like statistics.  If my Dad fully recovers, he will be part of just 1.9% of over 90-year-olds that do recover.  Most die on the way to the hospital.

3/28/19 Update on Dad

I have just learned that my dad’s kidneys are shutting down. We have made the decision not to put him on dialysis but to transport him to a hospice.   We also don’t want to see him linger in a nursing home. He’s had a wonderful 91-year life and I believe that when your numbers up that’s when you go. I’m sad but not surprised. I want to thank everyone for their well wishes. I guess I got a little too hopeful, especially with him being 91.

4/4/19 Things are Looking Good!

I’m getting ready to move and I’ll be very centrally located and only 20 minutes from Indepedence/Raytown, not to mention the airport and downtown.  The house is very unique (my couch goes well).  Biz has picked up and that’s always good, besides I have several men waiting for me to get up North!  Life really does ebb and flow.  And even though I am grieving for my Dad, it helps to focus on something else.  He would want that.

4/6/19  All Moved In

Love the house! Love having washer dryer on main floor!  Love having 3 bedroms!  Love having a garage that works! Got packed up. moved, and unpacked for $700.  They were great.  Very careful, didn’t harm a thing!  Love being up North again!

5/4/19 Being Up North

I love my house,  I love being up north, I’m happy to be away from Raytown. But I have to say, it just kills me to have three good days and then two lousy ones.  I know every escort goes through this where they wonder if they are in the right occupation and that I’m not alone in hating the slow days.  A client said to me yesterday that I need to look at the averages.  I will try!

5/4/19 My Style of Escorting

I like to think that I’m just a little bit different than most escorts in Kansas City. For one thing, I am a true GFE.  Lately I’ve been taking to extending the time I spend with you especially if we’re having a good time.   I blog about what a GFE consists of but I’d like to take a moment to remind you. I love to kiss and give big hugs, I will always keep you for the time you paid for and like I said, If I don’t have anybody after you I will certainly not rush you. I will never put a condom on you unless it is necessary. I test myself every Saturday and have bloodwork every three months.  I think it’s of the utmost importance to keep you and me safe. I also try to make my rates reasonable so that you can come back.   There have been many who were regulars that I formed a friendship with. It’s hard not to when  you’ve seen  someone for three years. Simply put, I love what I do and it shows. I also appreciate every man who walks through my door.

5/5/19 Tattoos

Tattoos really gained popularity in the 90s, right around the time I was getting married and having babies.  When I was growing up in the 70s/80s, the only people who had tattoos were Sailors and Motorcycle Gangs!  Because of this, I have never thought about painfully putting something on my body that will be there forever!  But, that is not to say that I haven’t come to thoroughly appreciate and enjoy the really well done tattoos that I see daily.  I find that the artistry and inks have come so far that I now consider them what they are, works of art.  Does this mean I’m going to run out and get a tattoo?  Hell no!  But that is mainly about not having a reason to have a tattoo and the pain involved.  I have one client in particular that is gaga over tattoos and they are so well done that I look more at them than I do at him.  And he’s a looker!  I’m going to see if he will let me take pictures of them and post them here (he will).  It’s funny, I find them tasteful on men, but when I see a woman covered in them, I kind cringe.  I have to say I’m proud NOT to have a tattoo in an era where most people do.

5/5/19 The Street I Live On

First off, I moved into a Dead End street, which I love because there is very little traffic or noise.  Secondly, not one of my neighbors has introduced themselves and I’m fine with that also.  You don’t bother me and I won’t bother you!  But the real kicker is that my street sign is identical to the street sign on the next street up!  Needless to say, clients were going to the wrong house!  So after about 10 times of this happening, I got smart and called the City of Kansas City.  I explained the problem and the lady at the other end got it.  Would you believe the next day, that wrong sign was changed?!  Just to check things out, I went the way my GPS told me to and it is now correct.  Yay!  You know, it used to be that neighbors talked all the time.  Since 1998, I have consistently lived in a neighborhood where no one talks to anyone else.  I’m still debating whether this is a good thing or not.  I suppose there are pros and cons for each.  And I must say, I really don’t mind being left alone!

5/5/19 Saying of the Week

A client said to me the other day that I was a ‘Rent a Friend”.  I kind of like that!

6/17/19 Burglarized

Last night when I left to go pick up a friend, I was burglarized. They knew that the back door would be open. They knew exactly where to go for my money and then they took my pills which none of them are psychoactive. And probably worst of all they took my laptop.  I called the police but we agreed that it probably wouldn’t be worth doing an insurance claim and today I found out that it really isn’t worth it. I think I know who did it. It’s the only client I’ve ever had who was a meth head and constantly needs money. I do think he actually did it himself.  If you’ve never been burglarized then you don’t know how invasive and helpless you feel. I hope this never happens to any of you and I never thought it would happen to me.   I learned many lessons from this fiasco. I will never leave my house without all the doors locked. I will stop playing social worker for good. I think it prudent to make deposits on a fairly regular basis. And I’m looking into the Ring.

7/10/19 Tribute to a Great Man

My best and nearly longest client and friend died two days ago.  He was brilliant, totally Type A, and my Mentor in all life’s quandaries.  I was his mistress, but no more.  I am completely and utterly saddened.  We had a relationship that most escorts/clients do not.  I wish I had more clients like him.  He will be sorely missed.

9/28/19 Clients Just Coming to Talk

I believe I said before that guys will use their time to take advantage of my background.  I have 10 years of professional psychotherapy behind me so why wouldn’t want to talk about their issues (mainly marriages).  And, to boot, I was a Marriage and Family Therapist so this is my forte.  If you know me, you know I enjoy talking, but as a therapist, I do more listening than anything.  I think you can see in my blogs what type of therapist/person I am.

10/19/19 Miss Popularity

When I moved up North 6 months ago, it was really slow going.  It got to the point where I was thinking of moving again.  I was told that the guys up  north only saw visiting Escorts.  But a good friend of mine told me that I needed to establish myself and not move around so much.  She said that once the guys saw that I was here to stay they would start to call.  Boy, was she ever right!  A few things happened to help this change.  I started  getting myself on the right sites.  I think KC guys are starting to realize that I’m  really one-of-a-kind and a good experience every time.  Being  with a 23-year- old with a banging body is NOT all it’s cracked up to be.  Especially when you only get to see it for a whole 15 minutes.  I feel like I’m finally coming into my own after 4 years of doing this. I still love what I do and my success is simply the icing on the cake!

10/24/19 The Story of How I Got To Be The Best

Time to get this story right!  So here goes.  I’ve told numerous men this same story to explain my claim of #1 Lip Service. In May of 2018, a friend of mine who also happened to be a Moderator on E.C.C.I.E, a website made by and for men so they can review providers who cannot see the review.  He said “they’re talking about you” and I said “who is talking about me”.  He replied, “the guys on ECCIE.  They are branding you!”.  I was dumbfounded.  “How are they branding me? is all I could think to say.  He floored me when he stated “They are saying you are the BEST Lip Service in Kansas City”.  He then told me to immediately raise my rates, which I did! Then the reviews started rolling in saying the same thing. A good client told me the other day that I was not only the best Lip Service but the best Provider in town.  He had been through 3 Escorts before me.  One robbed him, one was robotic and awful per his description, and one was a crackhead who smoked in front of him.  When he met me and realized I was normal, not robotic, loved to touch and please and kept him the whole time, he was elated.  He’s been a great client ever since. Am I the best?  Who can say who is the best?  What may be the best for one guy could be distasteful to another.  But I know this.  I am normal.  I can hold a good conversation, I’m interesting.  I know how to please a man.  I can tell when someone doesn’t want to talk and when they need to.  I take the time to make sure every guy leaves my place a little better off.

10/24/19 Big Bust in Overland Park

A sting operation against prostitution resulted in 13 arrests Wednesday in Overland Park. Police said six women were arrested for prostitution, three people for patronizing a prostitute and four people for promoting prostitution. Police Chief John Douglass said in his blog Thursday the city would continue to fight vice in its hotels, motels and apartment complexes.

Taken from a Google search…  I don’t know about you but I’m staying away from Overland Park!

11/12/19 When Your Wife or Significant Other Cuts Off All Sex

The first thing that comes to mind is (duh) see an Escort to get your needs met.  But there’s more than meets the eye here.  Really, seeing an Escort is the last thing you do!  And this is only because you have finally come to realize that there is nothing that can be done to change your wife’s mind/body.  Now, I’m not talking about the women who are infirm, handicapped or in pain a lot of the time.  I’m talking about the 40 year old who suddenly decides she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband anymore.  This happens all the time.  She just simply cuts you off with not a whole lot of explanation or emotion.  I’m talking about the post menopausal woman who refuses to look into remedies that would help her lubrication and desire.  Believe it or not, sex does NOT have to stop with menopause.  Think of all those women who have a hysterectomy and then go through menopause 2 weeks later at the age of 35?  Are they doomed to a sexless life just because they went through menopause early?  What I’m saying is this doesn’t have to happen but there needs to be talking, maybe counseling, which brings me to my next Blog…

11/15/19 Story #4 about my Gifted Son

Who in God’s name changes their major from Accounting to Art History?!  Only a person who is equally left-brained and right-brained.  I tried to explain that curator jobs are few and far between, but he believes he will excel at anything he does.   And I believe he will.  But then I’m his Mother!

11/15/19 The State of my Occupation

I was chatting with a client the other day (imagine that!) and we got onto the subject of Escorts living in motels and extended stay motels.  A lot of them have beaters for cars.   (if they even have one). We were both dumfounded at how much money they must make and yet live so poorly.  Client thought it was that they didn’t manage money well.  I was more inclined to think that there was a pimp or drugs or both involved.  Then he inquired as to why I lived in a nice house, drove a nice car and had nice things.  And this is what I said.  I do very well at what I do because I am very good at what I do.  I have a Business degree so I know how to manage money.  I don’t spend my money on drugs.  And I would never never have a pimp.  And, I think I do so well  in large part because I’m normal, pretty, engaging, talented and smart.  And it doesn’t hurt to have an amazing website!

11/15/19 The Difference Between Married Men and Women and Sex

Women in any relationship tend to view sex as something to get done with.  Because as I stated before, 75% of women do not orgasm from vaginal sex.  So, for those women, it isn’t doing anything for her besides pleasing you.  Not that that isn’t important, but the majority would be just as happy with out sex. I don’t think she sees it as all that important.  I think that what she focuses on is all the things she does for you outside of the bedroom.  And let’s face it, in a relationship, women are more likely to be takers and men are the givers.  Of course, this is not a hard and fast rule, but something I noticed a lot in my therapy practice.  There are plenty of women with great sex drives, but the majority do not.  I’m starting to think that marriage is the death of good sex!  By and large, my clients tell me that their sex life with their fiancee was great before they married and maybe 3-4 years into marriage.  I applaud those couples who have a great sex life because I know you have to work at it.  Communication is key.  I said it below,  you have the right to get your needs met BY YOUR WIFE and she needs to know this.  She needs to know your frustration.  Let her know how you feel, whether that is unloved, frustrated, undesirable or whatever her shunning you makes you feel.  But you have to know that she will probably just do it to appease you.  I wish all women knew that the more they have sex, the more they’ll enjoy and want it.  I might just be talking myself out of a job.  But I kinda doubt it.

11/22/19 Escorts and Boyfriends

Ok, so I met a guy, have only seen him 2 times, but I can tell it could go somewhere.  I told him I was a bookkeeper (which is what I tell everyone), so I’ve already lied.  Not good.  When do I tell him what I really do?  I’m thinking 3 months.  Of course, things could go south before then, but if we do make it that far, he may take the blow better (no pun intended).  But, then again, if I wait that long, I may be heartbroken if he dumps me.  The only Escorts I know who have boyfriends support them!  I learned my lesson with that 5 years ago and I’ll never go there again.  In fact it’s taken 5 years to be open to a relationship.  And I am open, but very skeptical as to whether an Escort can really have a relationship.  He would have to be very open-minded and not the jealous type. I could really use some advice on this blog! 

12/2/19 Why do Escorts live in Motels?

I was chatting with a client the other day and the subject of where and why escorts live where they do.  Especially the ones that live in motels and drive beater cars.  Could they be making that little?  Or do they have a pimp taking most of their proceeds?  Or is methamphetamine more likely?  I remember a client telling me that an escort smoked crack in front of him and went out to get more once he paid her.

12/9/19 Saying of the Week

Be careful who you trust, salt and sugar look the same.

12/20/19  Well I Guess Telling Him I Am An Escort…

was not such a good idea.  We never saw each other again but the strange thing was that he texted me every so often.  Not sure what to make of that!  And he would never say we were over,  even when I asked him.  He just stopped texting.  Pretty obvious when ya don’t hear from someone in two weeks!  I think next time I meet a guy, I’ll wait 2 months at least.  Which leads me to my Saying of the Week!12/20/19 Saying of the WeekNo response is a response.

12/23/19  Confidentiality

This is something that isn’t talked about by most escorts either because they don’t know what it is or don’t care.  How many times have you been texted or called by someone you might have seen one time.  They are just trying to drum up business (which, to me, says they don’t have much business and that’s a red flag right there).  It isn’t right.  It should be the client getting touch with escort, not the other way around.  I try to always tell my first-time clients that I will never contact them unless they contact me first.  I will not text, call or email.  I just don’t think guys who see an escort should have to worry about being called at home or harassed nonetheless.  It certainly isn’t making them look better as an escort in the client’s eyes.

12/23/19 Word of the Day…

Anomaly: Any person or occurrence that is strange, unusual, or unique. I am an anomaly in the Escort Business in that I am older than most, mature, normal, not hooked on drugs and very good at customer service!