Blogs 18/19

06/29/18 This One’s NOT About Me

I’ve talked in the past about how gays/lesbians don’t have a choice about their sexual proclivity.  Well, I’m here to say that the same can be said about men who like to dress in women’s clothes or women who want to be seen as men.  All these fetishes are not really fetishes, they are a way of life, just like being gay/lesbian.  Sexual orientation is formed by 5 and, even if that person doesn’t realize his or her sexuality at this young age, the stage is set for when they do finally realize it.  When I wrote this blog before, I got a very heartfelt review from a man who has wanted to dress in girls clothes since about the age of 6.  My own sister didn’t figure out her sexual preferences until she was 29.  Some guys are 50.  No telling.  But I hope you take from this blog that just because someone is different from you sexually, does not make it wrong.  As they taught us on the first day of Social Work school “Different is not Deficient”.

06/22/18 Questions

I recently had a client who responded to every one of my questions “That’s a private  matter”.   And I mean every one of my questions and those of you who know me, know I ask a lot of questions.  So after the 6th question, I got the idea “Hmmm, he doesn’t want to talk” and I shut up.  If you don’t want me to talk during our sessions, just say so.  You won’t hurt my feelings.  It’s second nature as a Social Worker to ask questions and delve into people’s lives.  Besides, I want to get to know you and for you to know me.  I want you to be a regular of mine and I feel if we know about each other, we’ll feel comfortable with each other.I’ve said this before in one form or another.  What most people, working 9-5 jobs have a great deal of is consistency in their life.  They know what their paycheck will be, what they can plan for and they probably do a little bit of saving.  My occupation has no consistency whatsoever.  I never know when a guy will call/text wanting to see me.  And it may be 1 guy in a day or 5!  Thanks for Obamacare or I’d have no insurance.  I’m glad the republicans have not figured out how to replace it yet.  Part of this blog should be the fact that I give my older son $1800 every month.  That’s a whole nother blog!

9/29/18 Stood up by a 58-year-old

It’s bad enough when a 28-year-old stands you up. You can expect the 20 somethings to not show which is why I don’t make appointments with 20 somethings. But for a 58-year-old man to tell you that he’s on the way twice and then not show up is inexcusable. I always wonder what goes through these guys minds when they don’t show. Did they get afraid that I might be a cop, did they decide it wasn’t worth the money or are they just nervous as hell because they’ve never done this before. Whatever the reason, it’s never a good thing to do wrong by somebody else who’s only trying to do right by you.  I have a saying and it goes something like this “what goes around comes around”. I truly believe in karma.

10/13/18 My Son is a Hoot!  Story #1

He calls me up one night in March and asks me how much ($$$) would it be worth to me if he got his drivers license.  And since his birthday was last September, I was wondering (and anticipating) when he would finally get over his anxiety and take the plunge!  I think so many 17-year-olds are putting it off because they have camaradarie online, whereas when I was his age, we all had to drive to see each other.   There was no online. Internet was a good 8-9 years off.  So I asked him what he thought was fair knowing the angst he had over this.  He said $100, I concurred.  And then, this little shit proceeded to tell me he just got his driver’s license!  Did he play me or what?  More to come…

10/13/18 Is There Really One Person Who’s The Best?

Sure, I advertise I’m the best and I have a handful of reviews that attest to this, but really how do I know I’m the best?  I hear it from my customers but they may just be saying that to appease me.  I do know this.  I’m good.  Very good.  And I’ve spent the last 3 years getting good.  No, I didn’t watch porn.  I didn’t practice on a dildo.  What I did was practice on you!  Any woman can tell when she is having the desired effect.  I built on this and kept a memory log of what worked and what didn’t.  And then I had an old boyfriend be my guinea pig, so to speak, and he honestly told me I was 10 times better than 6 months ago.  Once I put my mind to it, it was pretty easy to figure out what sent a man to heaven and I just kept doing more of that and expanding on it.  Now if I could only deepthroat!

10/13/18 Position of the Decade:  Doggie Style

I swear I have never known a man who didn’t come from this position.  No matter what we have done up until then, turn me over and spread my legs!  Works every time.  But the poor woman who is up against an 8+” dick.  Guys won’t get this, but if he goes deep enough (and he will), it feels like a pap smear.  Not a good feeling.

10/13/18 What I’ve Learned About This Business

• • • • This is, for the most part, a really shady business.

      • If you find an escort who is honest and on the up and up, stick with her (especially if she’s good at what she does!)

      • Use ECCIE.net and P411 to verify the escort before you see her.

      • Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from the 20-somethings.  They are only trouble.  See my earlier blog about them if you want to know what kind of trouble.

      • It’s very likely that an escort will have a wonderful day only to be followed by a horrible day.  You hope it all evens out.

      • It’s much safer doing this from a house than anywhere else.  Trust me, I’ve done hotels, duplexes, and apartments and my quaint little house is 10 times safer.  Especially if you get to know your neighbors and you are a good neighbor in return.

      • Some escorts are better than others, but none of them are worth $500 per hour.  If you go see one of thee gorgeous high-dollar escorts, make sure it’s on your bucket list.  Why else would you shell out 5 bills.

      • If you like working 3-5 hours a day, this is the job for you!  I’m sure some escorts work more, some less, but it’s definitely not 9-5.

      • You might get smitten with your provider or the other way around, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved.  This is an unpredictable occupation and jealousy can be a real thing.

10/13/18 Factoid of the Week

20% of men do not orgasm from a blow job.

25% of women have orgasms vaginally.  The other 75% cum clitorally.

11/5/18 Roommates

Well the first guy I got was unemployed at the time he moved in.  He must have given me his last $480 (yes, rent is $500).  I, being the MSW, could not throw him out until I got so sick of him, I COULD throw him out.  Last I heard, he was sleeping in his truck and had just gotten a job that we’re all hoping he keeps.My 2nd roommate got to be friends with my first roommate, who never paid me a dime after the $480.  But there was a major flaw to this man’s character.  And he was the NICEST guy you’d ever want to meet.  But he was MANIC.  And I do mean MANIC.  He’d never stop talking and he’d move from one subject to another saying that they had to do with each other.  He was bat shit crazy and, even though I liked him, I couldn’t STAND him.  The first guy was more companionship than this guy who you couldn’t possibly keep up with.  And he told me, and I’m not sure I believe this, NO ONE had ever told him he was manic.  He wasn’t manic/depressive.  Never got depressed that I could see.  Just one of the most manic people I’ve ever met.  And we’re talking 10 years as a therapist!My 3rd roommate, who was supposedly a friend of mine, bailed on me ONE DAY before he was supposed to move in.  I had asked him to pay me a couple days early to clear my bank and he basically forgot.  He used the excuse that a friend had committed suicide the day before.  Ok, I get it.  He’s grieving.  Does that mean you forget everything? I even reminded him.  I think that’s why he bailed.  But this is the same guy who let an alcoholic sleep over at my house when I was in St. Louis and she drank 2 bottles of my wine and threw up all over my bathroom.  Why was I going to have him as a roommate you ask? GOOD QUESTION!So here I am again, by myself, looking for a roommate to help with expenses and companionship.  I need to make sure they have employment, aren’t manic, willing to take out the trash and doesn’t bring alcoholics into the house to drink up all my wine and barf in my bathroom!It really is difficult to find someone you get along with, who doesn’t drive you crazy and pays on time.

11/5/18 Silver/Ginger

I’ve had this one client since I was in Topeka and he was Silver’s client also.  So he is going to take me to where she used to live to give me a better idea of her since we never met but talked on the phone quite often.  She was my mentor, if you will.  She was 68 when she passed away from Leukemia.  She died less than 2 weeks after being diagnosed.  I think she knew she was ill and didn’t want to do anything about it, but my mother told me there have been other cases of people with Leukemia who died very quickly also.  From what I knew of her and what I’ve been told, she was a spunky woman who would do just about anything.  The funniest story a friend of hers told me was that she had a client who wanted to be humiliated so she tied his hands behind his back, face down, and then went out to her living room to have a cigarette!  She would make you sit and talk to her and I think most of her clients enjoyed this.  I wish I had had more time and in-person time to spend with her.  She sounds sage, fun, and very smart.

11/5/18 Hoaxes

The definition of a Hoax is to trick into believing or accepting as genuine something false and often preposterous.  This has happened to me on more than one occasion.  Twice, I’ve been called by “Officers” saying they would protect me if I gave them free favors on a weekly basis.  I’m happy to say I did not fall for these.  My last hoax was from a guy who, I am pretty sure, has called me on more than one occasion.  He has a younger wife with huge boobs (KK) and he wants to see her get fucked, this time by several black guys.  His pitfall is he would not send me a picture of his wife.  Another guy, maybe the same one but I don’t think so, told me he wanted me to help his little cousin lose her virginity.  He called me several times until I put him in my phone book as “Guy with Greek Wife”.  Guys who just call to chat are essentially hoaxes.  They act like they’re going to make an appointment but they don’t.  At so many of my outcalls, they would have drugs but no money.  A big reason I stopped doing those.   On two occasions in Topeka, 20-something guys did not give me the donation up front and then told me their wallets were in their car and they’d be right back.  Yeah, right.  They sped off never to be seen again.  They’re the reason I make sure I get a donation up front.  Especially from new guys.

11/7/18 Poor Me

Dan, Roommate #3 that bailed a day before moving in, would say that I was saying “Poor Me” in this blog.  But I’m here to say that not everything about being a provider is hunky dory.  The reason this website is so prolific is because I have so much time on my hands.  I ask myself, why am I not being called?  And then the phone starts to ring in the afternoon and didn’t stop until 12.  How crazy is that?  I ask myself, on a daily basis, should I even be in this business.  I really thought that being a CAT adjuster was a good idea, didn’t think about the fact that I had no experience in anything related to it.  I just don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t this.  And it’s not that I do all that bad, it’s just so inconsistent.  And that gets to me.  So maybe I am saying Poor Me, once in a while isn’t too bad.

11/13/18 Well My Gifted Son Picked a School  Story #3

My son, who I say is a hoot, is going to be a Shocker! Wichita State here we come. I think the smaller school appealed to him because he does suffer from anxiety.  He went to K-State  and hated it. It was too big, too much walking and he hated the dorms. My son is very levelheaded,  so I know that he has thought this through and come up with the best choice for him. Besides, when he’s a CPA, it’s not going to matter so much where he went to school. Unless he wants to be on the East Coast which he doesn’t.  At least they do have a good basketball team! Update: Turns out that Wichita State does not offer the 3 credit hours for having taken the Accounting test.  My son is pissed, but still going to Wichita State.

11/13/18 My Older Son and Cars

My 20-year-old son has a way with vehicles.  I think he has owned 8 since he was 17.  The vehicles all look great and we end up putting a lot of money to fix them.  So the latest shenanigans that he got himself into is a humdinger!  He went to Nebraska to trade in his Hummer3 and a very cool Dodge Challenger for a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  Well this kid LOVES to go off-roading and he found himself between a tree and a big mud puddle.  Knowing he would hit the tree if he chose that route, he went through the mud.  The mud was 4 feet deep.  He was completely immobilized and had no cellular service.  Thank God he had 911 in this Jeep or I’m not sure what would have happened.  He was very far into the forest.  So he called 911 and they sent a Park Ranger out to get help for him.  A tow truck didn’t have enough weight/torque to get him out so they brought out a Bobcat and winched him out with that.  He took it to the Jeep dealership and found out there were $7000 in necessary repairs!!  And not all because of the mud, although that didn’t help matters.  The service guy at the dealership is willing to say that the faulty transmission was caused by the “accident” along with most of the other stuff that was wrong.  He has a 30 day warranty from where he bought it but that’s Nebraska and the car won’t run!  And it wasn’t a Jeep dealership so we can’t really ask Jeep Corporation to help out.  And if that weren’t crazy enough, it should still be under warranty because it’s a 2014 with a 5 year/100K warranty.  But the warranty won’t cover everything that the mud did and insurance will.  Especially if a mechanic says the mud caused the damages and items needing repaired.  The only thing that the dealership is not willing to fib on is the brakes which cost $450.  So I told my son, find something that doesn’t need to be fixed this instant and use the money for the brakes.  He didn’t get it.  I’m not sure how he’s going to come up with the $1000 deductible.  But I know one thing for sure, I’m not giving him that money.  I ask myself, why didn’t he just back up and find another way?  But then my first car was a bright orange Jeep Renegade and I got stuck so many times, it was the joke of my group of friends, who always got me out of my jams.  Thankfully, it was never in 4 feet of mud!Update:  My son and ex drove to Portland, made it ok and the next morning the car would not come out of Park.  They had it towed to the Jeep dealership in Portland and they are saying it needs a new Transmission.  There was still mud on the one it has now.  Update:  I finally got smart and called my Credit Card company to do a chargeback on Briggs Dealership who did not fix the car. All we need is a 3rd party to say that the vehicle was not repaired correctly, which it wasn’t.  My son went to the Portland Jeep dealership and they are unwilling to write that letter.  So on Monday I am going to have a little chat with the lady who said this and possibly her supervisor!  I, my ex and son all put the charges on our  credit cards, so smart!  My next phone call will be to the Dealership in Nebraska to see why they are not covering the repairs since they were under their 30-day warranty.  The BBB complaint has fallen on deaf ears.  I very well may threaten  a lawsuit.  Finally, Jeep is coming out to see if the damages (transmission) should be covered under their warranty.  A lady at Jeep tried to tell my son that the warranty starts when it rolls off the assembly line!  So if it sits on a lot for 6 months, you get 6 months less warranty?  Yeh, I don’t think so.  Everybody has to cover their ass. Except for the very helpful man at Mastercard who was more than willing to go after Briggs.  Both my son and ex are doing chargebacks as well.So much of this could have been averted by good decision making.  One, never buy a car you can’t return easily.  Two, have it checked out before you buy it.  Three, do not go through mud in it that you don’t know how deep it is.  And 4, make sure it’s fixed before you drive to Portland in it!The eight cars my son has owned in 3 years:  Dodge Ram, Nissan 300z (which he flipped), a Cadillac CTS (his ex-girlfriends favorite car), 2 Hummer 3s, a Dodge Challenger, a Chrysler Sebring and now a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  I had nothing to with any of them.  My ex and son bought them and repaired them.  I think my ex has gone through his entire 401(K).  Had it been up to me, he would have gotten a beater and said “drive this or walk”.

11/15/18 A Dog?  Really?

A guy I had seen one time calls last night to make an appointment.  And wants to bring his dog with him.  At first, I was like “sure bring fido with you” and then it dawned on me what he really had in mind.  And he confirmed my suspicions.  He wanted me to have sex with his dog!  To say the least, I was outraged.  If I wasn’t in the occupation I’m in, I would have called the police on him.  What a sick man to not only put his dog through that, but me as well.  I can’t even think about it without feeling sick.  What makes a person think such a thing is appropriate or even feasible?  And what was he going to get out of it?  What a sick fuck!  I’m sorry, but that’s just not right no matter how you look at it.

11/19/18 This is What Happens When a 26-year-old Becomes an Escort

A client of mine shared with me that his girlfriend had recently become an escort. He wanted me to help her out and be a mentor to her. She and I texted for sometime and it became very apparent that she was doing several things wrong. Of course, being 26, she was not willing to listen to my suggestions but that didn’t stop me from giving them to her. First off, she is seeing 10 to 15 clients a day. If she has any neighbors, they are going to notice all the cars coming and going. All it takes is one complaint to the police for them to sting her.  Not to mention the fact that she is going to get a reputation as being a high-volume escort.   Secondly, she is upselling bareback sex. I have no doubt that she will get an STD and pass it on to one or more clients. If that were to happen, all she needs is one review stating that they got an STD from her and her days as an escort are over. Not to mention that getting an STD is no fun. I also don’t believe in upselling because it puts the clients in a bad position. He may feel like he needs to accept her upsell but not have enough cash. All in all, I find it to be very underhanded.   She does the same thing with anal. The better way to handle this is to say in her ad that she offers these things for an extra charge. That way, men know upfront how much money to bring. And once it gets out that she  performs bareback sex on many clients, she will lose clients due to the danger of having unprotected sex.   The next mistake she made was to let someone videotape her. They put it on porn hub and blackmailed her into having sex with four men to get the video back. She ended up being raped and beaten. And she did not get the video back and my guess is he probably has several copies. Furthermore, she has decided to work with two pimps.  This is probably her biggest mistake because they will get her on drugs and take most of the money. Why she felt she needed a pimp when she was doing very well on her own is beyond me. All she sees right now is dollar signs but if she isn’t careful, she’ll be seeing herself in handcuffs or with an STD.  She’s the new kid on the block and doing very well but this will not last because someone else will come along and take her place. The problem with young escorts is that they don’t think of the consequences for their safety. I can’t imagine seeing that many men in one day let alone every day.  Every time a man walks into your house you are at risk of being hurt, raped, possibly robbed and otherwise taken advantage of. This is why we take the time to verify the men we see. When you see 10 to 15 clients a day, you don’t have the time to verify them so you take your chances.  As an aftermath, her boyfriend is leaving her because of the volume she is seeing. Being one of the oldest escorts out there, I thought I could help her. But I don’t think she wants my help  and she won’t get it unless she finds some humility. It took me a long time to figure out how to be safe in a dangerous occupation. I hope she figures it out soon.

11/23/18 This is Kinda Weird

When I first started doing this, I would bruise like there was no tomorrow!  I knew, if a guy squeezed me, I would have a bruise the next day.  I realized a day or so ago that I no longer bruise!  I couldn’t begin to explain this, but maybe I have more muscle which doesn’t bruise as easily.  I’m certainly not complaining!

11/28/18 Very Interesting Haircut

I was getting my haircut the other day by a black woman who was quite skilled in her profession. I asked her how she liked Raytown and this was her reply. “I like it for the most part but sometimes it’s a little dark”. I nearly fell off my chair, I couldn’t believe that she would admit that Raytown is definitely dark. Here was this woman of color telling me that Raytown is not always the greatest place to live. For myself, I live in a wonderful house on an all-white street and as long as I don’t venture too far away from home, I feel safe. I had never heard of black woman or man refer to their race as dark. And I certainly have never heard them disdain anyone of their race. But she was being honest. Raytown is about 70% black and there’s a lot of violence and crime and for budgetary reasons the police force is much smaller than it was. The police here have bigger fish to fry than an escort that keeps to herself.

12/5/18 Men Who Have Great Sex at Home Yet See an Escort“

I have never understood this.  A man comes to see me and one of the first few questions I have are “Are you married?”, “Do you still have sex?”,  and when the 1 out of 100 says they have great sex at home, I usually ask “Why are you here?” in the nicest way possible.  The answer I get?  “Variety is the Spice of Life”.  Okay, I can accept that, but I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around this need for variety.  It makes me feel that men are not meant to be monogamous.  Or maybe it’s just some men.  I have to believe there are plenty of men out there that never see an escort or have an affair.  My ex was one of those men.  He used porn.  Do you think this is the accepted mode for finding variety?

12/8/18 Thought for the week

If you have 7 appointments but only 3 show up, is that a good day?  I think I was busier MAKING the appointments than conducting them! LOL

12/9/18 Saying of the day

See if you know what this means…

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

12/9/18 GFE

Girl Friend Experience

1. Shows up and acts like she wants to be there.

2. Deep french kisses.

3. Blow Job.  

4. Stays and provides service for the full hour.

If all four criteria are met the provider is known as a GFE.

12/12/18 $700 an Hour?  Really?

There is a provider in KC, Hotwife Taylor, that charges $700/hour.  Now I ask you, would you pay that much to see a 45-year-old escort for an hour?  The only men I can think of who might are those that have nothing better to do with their money!  And how many regulars would she have?  I can’t imagine very many.   Is anyone in KC worth $700/hr?  The only ones who make that and more are the Playboy bunnies and the Pornstars.  And that makes sense to me because they are celebrities.  And they are mainly on the East and West coasts.  If you look at the average donations in KC, they are typically 150 for a half hour and 250 for an hour.  Take a look at ADULT LOOK and you will see what I’m talking about.  And you will also see that my rates are some of the lowest! And then there’s JennaJean Taylor who believes she’s worth $2500 an hour! I have to believe that she’s just plain nuts. If she is really worth that, then she should be on the East Coast. Sure, she has a great body, never shows her face and somehow feels entitled. Besides her body, I can’t find anything special about her. I’m sure every escort has something about them that sets them apart. For me, it’s my lip service. I’ve come to realize that I am the best in Kansas City. But that’s my claim to fame. It certainly isn’t my body unless you like a small BBW. I’m pretty enough but I’m no knockout. But spread your legs and you won’t believe what I can do. Is it worth $700? Not even close but it does keep the men coming back and to me that’s all that matters.Update: I just looked for hot wife Taylor and she is on none of the popular sites. I imagine she’s traveling because at $700 an hour there are only so many men willing to pay that so you have to move on to the next city and so forth and so forth.Update 2/19:  Hotwife Taylor is now Pornstar Hotwife Taylor, and get this.  She is now charging $500 instead of $800!  And she is now showing her face!

12/13/18 My Reviews

A while back it was brought to my attention by an ECCIE moderator that the men on ECCIE-Kansas City were comparing notes about me.  He said they were “branding” me. I was confused as to what he meant by “branding” so he explained.  They were saying I was the best Lip Service in KC.  That was 9 months ago.  If you think I haven’t gotten better in 9 months, you’d be sorely mistaken.  Men who have never cum from a blow job are cumming for the first time by a mouth (and tongue).  Couples are calling me wanting me to teach the wife my technique.  I may not be a young hottie, but I sure do know what I’m doing!  Now that is not all to seeing me, but it doesn’t hurt to be the best at something so darn pleasurable!

12/25/18 The Four (or so) Things I do not do and Why

Anal:  I feel like this is obvious but I really should explain.  I had my gallbladder out and ever since then, I don’t have great control over my bowels. Anyone who has had their gallbladder out knows what I’m talking about.  So not knowing exactly when I’m going to need to go puts a bit of a damper on anal.  Plus, I can’t find anything about Anal that attracts me.  I’ve tried it and it just was not for me.  Please note, this has NEVER gotten in the way of sex or anything else.  BDSM:  Bondage/Domination Sado-Masochism Quite simply, I do not like pain or acting. Face-Fucking:  This is where a man takes the woman’s head and hold it while he fucks her mouth and usually makes her deep throat and gag.  Need I say more? Role-Playing:  Mostly I’m asked to play “Mom” or “Teacher” by guys in their 20s.  I think this is one of the strangest fetishes I’ve come across and I am just NOT an actress.  Not only do I not want to play your Mom, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to be your Mom!  I tell the story of trying to do phone sex and lasted 3 minutes!  At least you know I’m not acting with you because I can’t!Other No-Nos: These are things I’m not really into but will do on occasion.

• • Facials

  • 69s ( I can’t concentrate on what you are doing and what I’m doing at the same time!)

  • Hand Jobs (another blog all by itself!)

  • Depositing cum into my mouth instead of letting me swallow.  I NEVER spit!

  • Doggie style if bigger than 8 inches.

12/28/18 Why I Don’t do Handjobs

1. 1. You’ve been doing them since you were 10, give or take a few months.

   2. Why should I do something that you’ve perfected over years.

   3. You know just how to do it.

   4. You know how fast to do it.

   5. You know exactly where to stroke it.  And most of all,

   6. You have the upper arm strength to accomplish such a fury of a feat!

1/20/19 Comfortable in my Skin

I may not be a size 4 or even 14, but I love myself and my body and I focus on the parts of me that are just absolutely astounding. I can understand that super BBW‘s only have a certain number of suitors, but I think you’d be surprised how big that number is. I’m considered a small BBW or voluptuous or curvy. Either way you put it, I’m overweight. But in my mind, that should not have anything to do with booking a date with me. I once spoke with a moderator on ECCIE and he told me that the men on ECCIE were talking about me and branding me because I was the best BBBJ in Kansas City. I knew I was good but I didn’t know I was that good! So does a client forgo an overweight woman just because she’s overweight but who happens to be the best in Kansas City at what she does? I think that’s pretty shallow. I don’t think you have to be a size 4 to be a good provider. And besides that, I’m 51 so I am the 30-year-olds bucket list and the 60-year-olds diva. I appeal to all ages whereas the 20-somethings definitely don’t get the 60-year-olds. And let me tell you, those 60-year-olds are very generous. I love what I do and I’m good at what I do. I don’t always love my body but I’m comfortable with it. And I think that’s the most important thing I can say here, be comfortable with who you are and don’t take the reviews on Eccie that seriously because after all, they are all from men who may or may not be intelligent.

2/23/19 The Drunk

To say that I am very careful on going to an Outcall is an understatement.  So, imagine my surprise when I walked into a room at a Marriott and the man who answered the door was drop dead drunk!  I had talked to him on the phone and I think I should have known what I was getting into, but suffice to say I did not.  I stayed for about a half hour of him trying to get it up and being unable to.  I left saying to myself that I would never get into this situation again.  I, myself, don’t drink a lot and I’m not around a lot of drunks, so he really took me off guard.  I thought he might sober up given some time, but when I realized he would not, I left.  You’d think that would be that.  Fat chance! 

He called the next day to apologize and I did accept it.  We got together and he was just fine knowing how I felt about our first endeavor.  He talked a lot about me being his girlfriend and him taking “care” of me.  He had said he was separated from his wife and I was to later find out that his definition of separated was simply that he was away from home 40 weeks each year.

The third time he called to make a date, I was convinced he was drunk and appropriately hung up the phone on him.  He called back to say he had been sleeping.  He was fine when I got there and as I was ordering pizza for us, he went into the bathroom to smoke….and get drunk.  It took me a while to realize what had happened, and I think it had something to do with his falling down as he was trying to get his pants on to answer the door for the pizza delivery guy.  He didn’t just fall a little bit, he fell hard against the table, spilled water all over himself and refused to change shirts which was sopping wet.  He also would not stop doing things to me that I started out by nicely asking him to not do that and finally ended up yelling at him to stop.  It was at this point that I knew, without a doubt, he was drunk and I got up to leave.  I think I have a pretty good idea about why he was sleeping during the day.  Can you take a wild guess?

Because I had not been around alcoholics, I didn’t know what to expect.  I always say that outcalls are unpredictable and dangerous.  That is exactly how I felt being with this man.  Was he going to hurt me?  And geez, how annoying he was when drunk.  He wouldn’t take no for an answer and, really, I should have left the minute I knew he’d been drinking.  I’m just glad I had this experience as I will never let it happen again.  I’m learning that I need to trust my intuition a lot more than I have been.  I’m just glad he’s the only drunk I’ve ever had to deal with!

3/8/19 Fibbing

A client and I were having a conversation and I put to him, is lying about your age by 2 years any better than lying about it by 6 years?  I myself think that fibbing about your age is ridiculous, but hey ya gotta play this silly game.  And when I tell my clients my real age, I  have never had a negative reaction.  I could swear to you that the majority (90%) of escorts lie about their age, whether it’s just 2 years or 10.  Heck, you can see it in their pictures!  It simply makes me laugh when I see a 40-something calling herself 35.  What do they think men think?  After a while, it gets pretty easy at telling just how many years they are lying about.  The answer to my question?  It’s never okay to lie about one’s age whether it’s be by 2 years or 6.

3/25/19 Mistakes made, Apologies Given…

An old client of mine sent me an email basically to help me with my business and to give me some suggestions upon moving forward.

1.  Living in Raytown was a big mistake based on the fact that it is a town in transition.  He intimated that some people might think I have a pimp.  I want to assure everyone reading this that I DO NOT have a Pimp, would never think of such a thing and abhor the idea of giving even a dime of my earnings to anyone (except my Millenial son).  This is why I’m moving up North.

2.   Getting a roommate was an even bigger mistake on my part.  I think I did this to take some monetary stress off myself and all it did was cause more monetary stress because no one wanted to be in a house with a stranger downstairs.  I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, this certainly was never my intention.

3.  I’m sorry for ending my blogs.  I now realize how important they are to marketing my business and a lot of people have read every single one.  I’m not going to ask for donations for these blogs, but I still may create a Subscription Blog.  Again, those blogs will be much longer and the first one will be the Story of Me.  I will post an excerpt of this long blog here for you to see if you want to subscribe or not.

4.  You may have noticed that I have taken off all negative, whiny blogs that no one really wants to read.  I want to keep this blog upbeat and funny.

3/20/19 The End?

My Father is on his deathbed.  He had a massive heart attack last night and his blood pressure went so low that they are trying to raise it with medication that makes it hard to breathe.  So, he’s intubated and in the meantime, his kidneys are failing.  We don’t expect him to live through the weekend and will have a small private family funeral for him.

3/25/19 Update on Dad

My father is simply and profoundly miraculous!  His blood pressure came up on its own, his heart is pumping blood (now that they put 4 stents in him), His kidneys are producing urine and, of course, the doctors are saying it’s day by day.  The whole family is waiting to see how he progresses, the doctors are as conservative as doctos are, but each day that passes, he gets better!  I’m going there Sat/Sun to see him.  Can’t wait!  If you’ve read my blogs, you know how much I like statistics.  If my Dad fully recovers, he will be part of just 1.9% of over 90-year-olds that do recover.  Most die on the way to the hospital.

3/28/19 Update on Dad

I have just learned that my dad’s kidneys are shutting down. We have made the decision not to put him on dialysis but to transport him to a hospice.   We also don’t want to see him linger in a nursing home. He’s had a wonderful 91-year life and I believe that when your numbers up that’s when you go. I’m sad but not surprised. I want to thank everyone for their well wishes. I guess I got a little too hopeful, especially with him being 91.

4/4/19 Things are Looking Good!

I’m getting ready to move and I’ll be very centrally located and only 20 minutes from Indepedence/Raytown, not to mention the airport and downtown.  The house is very unique (my couch goes well).  Biz has picked up and that’s always good, besides I have several men waiting for me to get up North!  Life really does ebb and flow.  And even though I am grieving for my Dad, it helps to focus on something else.  He would want that.

4/6/19  All Moved In

Love the house! Love having washer dryer on main floor!  Love having 3 bedroms!  Love having a garage that works! Got packed up. moved, and unpacked for $700.  They were great.  Very careful, didn’t harm a thing!  Love being up North again!

5/4/19 Being Up North

I love my house,  I love being up north, I’m happy to be away from Raytown. But I have to say, it just kills me to have three good days and then two lousy ones.  I know every escort goes through this where they wonder if they are in the right occupation and that I’m not alone in hating the slow days.  A client said to me yesterday that I need to look at the averages.  I will try!

5/4/19 My Style of Escorting

I like to think that I’m just a little bit different than most escorts in Kansas City. For one thing, I am a true GFE.  Lately I’ve been taking to extending the time I spend with you especially if we’re having a good time.   I blog about what a GFE consists of but I’d like to take a moment to remind you. I love to kiss and give big hugs, I will always keep you for the time you paid for and like I said, If I don’t have anybody after you I will certainly not rush you. I will never put a condom on you unless it is necessary. I test myself every Saturday and have bloodwork every three months.  I think it’s of the utmost importance to keep you and me safe. I also try to make my rates reasonable so that you can come back.   There have been many who were regulars that I formed a friendship with. It’s hard not to when  you’ve seen  someone for three years. Simply put, I love what I do and it shows. I also appreciate every man who walks through my door.

5/5/19 Tattoos

Tattoos really gained popularity in the 90s, right around the time I was getting married and having babies.  When I was growing up in the 70s/80s, the only people who had tattoos were Sailors and Motorcycle Gangs!  Because of this, I have never thought about painfully putting something on my body that will be there forever!  But, that is not to say that I haven’t come to thoroughly appreciate and enjoy the really well done tattoos that I see daily.  I find that the artistry and inks have come so far that I now consider them what they are, works of art.  Does this mean I’m going to run out and get a tattoo?  Hell no!  But that is mainly about not having a reason to have a tattoo and the pain involved.  I have one client in particular that is gaga over tattoos and they are so well done that I look more at them than I do at him.  And he’s a looker!  I’m going to see if he will let me take pictures of them and post them here (he will).  It’s funny, I find them tasteful on men, but when I see a woman covered in them, I kind cringe.  I have to say I’m proud NOT to have a tattoo in an era where most people do.

5/5/19 The Street I Live On

First off, I moved into a Dead End street, which I love because there is very little traffic or noise.  Secondly, not one of my neighbors has introduced themselves and I’m fine with that also.  You don’t bother me and I won’t bother you!  But the real kicker is that my street sign is identical to the street sign on the next street up!  Needless to say, clients were going to the wrong house!  So after about 10 times of this happening, I got smart and called the City of Kansas City.  I explained the problem and the lady at the other end got it.  Would you believe the next day, that wrong sign was changed?!  Just to check things out, I went the way my GPS told me to and it is now correct.  Yay!  You know, it used to be that neighbors talked all the time.  Since 1998, I have consistently lived in a neighborhood where no one talks to anyone else.  I’m still debating whether this is a good thing or not.  I suppose there are pros and cons for each.  And I must say, I really don’t mind being left alone!

5/5/19 Saying of the Week

A client said to me the other day that I was a ‘Rent a Friend”.  I kind of like that!

6/17/19 Burglarized

Last night when I left to go pick up a friend, I was burglarized. They knew that the back door would be open. They knew exactly where to go for my money and then they took my pills which none of them are psychoactive. And probably worst of all they took my laptop.  I called the police but we agreed that it probably wouldn’t be worth doing an insurance claim and today I found out that it really isn’t worth it. I think I know who did it. It’s the only client I’ve ever had who was a meth head and constantly needs money. I do think he actually did it himself.  If you’ve never been burglarized then you don’t know how invasive and helpless you feel. I hope this never happens to any of you and I never thought it would happen to me.   I learned many lessons from this fiasco. I will never leave my house without all the doors locked. I will stop playing social worker for good. I think it prudent to make deposits on a fairly regular basis. And I’m looking into the Ring.

7/10/19 Tribute to a Great Man

My best and nearly longest client and friend died two days ago.  He was brilliant, totally Type A, and my Mentor in all life’s quandaries.  I was his mistress, but no more.  I am completely and utterly saddened.  We had a relationship that most escorts/clients do not.  I wish I had more clients like him.  He will be sorely missed.

9/28/19 Clients Just Coming to Talk

I believe I said before that guys will use their time to take advantage of my background.  I have 10 years of professional psychotherapy behind me so why wouldn’t want to talk about their issues (mainly marriages).  And, to boot, I was a Marriage and Family Therapist so this is my forte.  If you know me, you know I enjoy talking, but as a therapist, I do more listening than anything.  I think you can see in my blogs what type of therapist/person I am.

10/19/19 Miss Popularity

When I moved up North 6 months ago, it was really slow going.  It got to the point where I was thinking of moving again.  I was told that the guys up  north only saw visiting Escorts.  But a good friend of mine told me that I needed to establish myself and not move around so much.  She said that once the guys saw that I was here to stay they would start to call.  Boy, was she ever right!  A few things happened to help this change.  I started  getting myself on the right sites.  I think KC guys are starting to realize that I’m  really one-of-a-kind and a good experience every time.  Being  with a 23-year- old with a banging body is NOT all it’s cracked up to be.  Especially when you only get to see it for a whole 15 minutes.  I feel like I’m finally coming into my own after 4 years of doing this. I still love what I do and my success is simply the icing on the cake!

10/24/19 The Story of How I Got To Be The Best

Time to get this story right!  So here goes.  I’ve told numerous men this same story to explain my claim of #1 Lip Service. In May of 2018, a friend of mine who also happened to be a Moderator on E.C.C.I.E, a website made by and for men so they can review providers who cannot see the review.  He said “they’re talking about you” and I said “who is talking about me”.  He replied, “the guys on ECCIE.  They are branding you!”.  I was dumbfounded.  “How are they branding me? is all I could think to say.  He floored me when he stated “They are saying you are the BEST Lip Service in Kansas City”.  He then told me to immediately raise my rates, which I did! Then the reviews started rolling in saying the same thing. A good client told me the other day that I was not only the best Lip Service but the best Provider in town.  He had been through 3 Escorts before me.  One robbed him, one was robotic and awful per his description, and one was a crackhead who smoked in front of him.  When he met me and realized I was normal, not robotic, loved to touch and please and kept him the whole time, he was elated.  He’s been a great client ever since. Am I the best?  Who can say who is the best?  What may be the best for one guy could be distasteful to another.  But I know this.  I am normal.  I can hold a good conversation, I’m interesting.  I know how to please a man.  I can tell when someone doesn’t want to talk and when they need to.  I take the time to make sure every guy leaves my place a little better off.

10/24/19 Big Bust in Overland Park

A sting operation against prostitution resulted in 13 arrests Wednesday in Overland Park. Police said six women were arrested for prostitution, three people for patronizing a prostitute and four people for promoting prostitution. Police Chief John Douglass said in his blog Thursday the city would continue to fight vice in its hotels, motels and apartment complexes.

Taken from a Google search…  I don’t know about you but I’m staying away from Overland Park!

11/12/19 When Your Wife or Significant Other Cuts Off All Sex

The first thing that comes to mind is (duh) see an Escort to get your needs met.  But there’s more than meets the eye here.  Really, seeing an Escort is the last thing you do!  And this is only because you have finally come to realize that there is nothing that can be done to change your wife’s mind/body.  Now, I’m not talking about the women who are infirm, handicapped or in pain a lot of the time.  I’m talking about the 40 year old who suddenly decides she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband anymore.  This happens all the time.  She just simply cuts you off with not a whole lot of explanation or emotion.  I’m talking about the post menopausal woman who refuses to look into remedies that would help her lubrication and desire.  Believe it or not, sex does NOT have to stop with menopause.  Think of all those women who have a hysterectomy and then go through menopause 2 weeks later at the age of 35?  Are they doomed to a sexless life just because they went through menopause early?  What I’m saying is this doesn’t have to happen but there needs to be talking, maybe counseling, which brings me to my next Blog…

11/15/19 Story #4 about my Gifted Son

Who in God’s name changes their major from Accounting to Art History?!  Only a person who is equally left-brained and right-brained.  I tried to explain that curator jobs are few and far between, but he believes he will excel at anything he does.   And I believe he will.  But then I’m his Mother!

11/15/19 The State of my Occupation

I was chatting with a client the other day (imagine that!) and we got onto the subject of Escorts living in motels and extended stay motels.  A lot of them have beaters for cars.   (if they even have one). We were both dumfounded at how much money they must make and yet live so poorly.  Client thought it was that they didn’t manage money well.  I was more inclined to think that there was a pimp or drugs or both involved.  Then he inquired as to why I lived in a nice house, drove a nice car and had nice things.  And this is what I said.  I do very well at what I do because I am very good at what I do.  I have a Business degree so I know how to manage money.  I don’t spend my money on drugs.  And I would never never have a pimp.  And, I think I do so well  in large part because I’m normal, pretty, engaging, talented and smart.  And it doesn’t hurt to have an amazing website!

11/15/19 The Difference Between Married Men and Women and Sex

Women in any relationship tend to view sex as something to get done with.  Because as I stated before, 75% of women do not orgasm from vaginal sex.  So, for those women, it isn’t doing anything for her besides pleasing you.  Not that that isn’t important, but the majority would be just as happy with out sex. I don’t think she sees it as all that important.  I think that what she focuses on is all the things she does for you outside of the bedroom.  And let’s face it, in a relationship, women are more likely to be takers and men are the givers.  Of course, this is not a hard and fast rule, but something I noticed a lot in my therapy practice.  There are plenty of women with great sex drives, but the majority do not.  I’m starting to think that marriage is the death of good sex!  By and large, my clients tell me that their sex life with their fiancee was great before they married and maybe 3-4 years into marriage.  I applaud those couples who have a great sex life because I know you have to work at it.  Communication is key.  I said it below,  you have the right to get your needs met BY YOUR WIFE and she needs to know this.  She needs to know your frustration.  Let her know how you feel, whether that is unloved, frustrated, undesirable or whatever her shunning you makes you feel.  But you have to know that she will probably just do it to appease you.  I wish all women knew that the more they have sex, the more they’ll enjoy and want it.  I might just be talking myself out of a job.  But I kinda doubt it.

11/22/19 Escorts and Boyfriends

Ok, so I met a guy, have only seen him 2 times, but I can tell it could go somewhere.  I told him I was a bookkeeper (which is what I tell everyone), so I’ve already lied.  Not good.  When do I tell him what I really do?  I’m thinking 3 months.  Of course, things could go south before then, but if we do make it that far, he may take the blow better (no pun intended).  But, then again, if I wait that long, I may be heartbroken if he dumps me.  The only Escorts I know who have boyfriends support them!  I learned my lesson with that 5 years ago and I’ll never go there again.  In fact it’s taken 5 years to be open to a relationship.  And I am open, but very skeptical as to whether an Escort can really have a relationship.  He would have to be very open-minded and not the jealous type. I could really use some advice on this blog! 

12/2/19 Why do Escorts live in Motels?

I was chatting with a client the other day and the subject of where and why escorts live where they do.  Especially the ones that live in motels and drive beater cars.  Could they be making that little?  Or do they have a pimp taking most of their proceeds?  Or is methamphetamine more likely?  I remember a client telling me that an escort smoked crack in front of him and went out to get more once he paid her.

12/9/19 Saying of the Week

Be careful who you trust, salt and sugar look the same.

12/20/19  Well I Guess Telling Him I Am An Escort…

was not such a good idea.  We never saw each other again but the strange thing was that he texted me every so often.  Not sure what to make of that!  And he would never say we were over,  even when I asked him.  He just stopped texting.  Pretty obvious when ya don’t hear from someone in two weeks!  I think next time I meet a guy, I’ll wait 2 months at least.  Which leads me to my Saying of the Week!12/20/19 Saying of the WeekNo response is a response.

12/23/19  Confidentiality

This is something that isn’t talked about by most escorts either because they don’t know what it is or don’t care.  How many times have you been texted or called by someone you might have seen one time.  They are just trying to drum up business (which, to me, says they don’t have much business and that’s a red flag right there).  It isn’t right.  It should be the client getting touch with escort, not the other way around.  I try to always tell my first-time clients that I will never contact them unless they contact me first.  I will not text, call or email.  I just don’t think guys who see an escort should have to worry about being called at home or harassed nonetheless.  It certainly isn’t making them look better as an escort in the client’s eyes.

12/23/19 Word of the Day…

Anomaly: Any person or occurrence that is strange, unusual, or unique. I am an anomaly in the Escort Business in that I am older than most, mature, normal, not hooked on drugs and very good at customer service!