New Blogs 5/28/23

Take a Look at My Newest Pics in my Gallery 5/27/23

5/28/23 

Phew!  I finally am starting to feel like I have some modicum of control over my life. I have taken 200 pictures and put probably about 100 up on the site and take a look at my smile and my face because I don’t think I’ve ever been prettier. And that’s funny because just a week ago I was saying that I was uglier. I’m not uglier and those pictures came out really well. Tell me about your wife because I know you need to. And thank you for your support. Now I will say the guy that came forward and really helped me gave me $250 it was for a session but it was a lot of money and I was able to buy a phone and have $150 in the bank . It felt better than being broke. 

5/19/23 Birthday (God not again)

My dear sister is looking into me being traveling bookkeeping!  What a hoot!  If my business would start to pick up, we wouldn’t have such talk.  Imagine me traveling as a Bookkeeper! And even though I have a very loving and giving mother, I can’t keep on doing what I do.  I can’t keep taking and taking.

I’ve taken enough.

1/25/23 Chapter 2, Paragraph 1

Now I have nothing against women who are escorts but there is shame involved. When you are raised in a wealthy family and you go to the best schools, graduate with a masters in social work, you never really think you’ll ever become an escort. Oh sure, I knew about Xavier Hollander but knowing her name and that she was the Happy Hooker was about all I knew. I think if my original family found out, they would disown me. I know that any family member will try to get me to stop.  And it’s not like I wouldn’t like to stop but how can you start making over $100,000 a year? Especially when all the money from your family dried up and you are pretty much left on your own. All you would have to do is Google my phone number but obviously nobody has or if they have, they haven’t told me.

1/16/23 Alone Again Naturally

I, in recent weeks, have come to realize that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life. I think there are several reasons for this and the biggest reason is me. I don’t think I really want to be with someone full-time. I would be great for like a truck driver. If I thought truck drivers were any good at all , unfortunately I’ve had a few run-ins. I also think that I really enjoy my own company, way more so than most other people. I’m so set in my own ways that I don’t think I could give up how I do things. I’ve started seeing somebody but I can tell you 10 cons and may be 4 pros for this guy. Why do I continue to see him? I suppose because I get bored and lonely. But when I’m done with him, I want him gone.

1/14/23 My Mother Updated

I have told you about my mother in posts along the way, but the news I have is not good. She has an aortic anyerism that has not burst, but is on its way to and she can have an operation but at 92, she’s thinking that this is a sure way out , a quick way out and on her own terms. I don’t feel ready to have her gone, but I will never feel ready to have her gone. That being said, my sisters didn’t even bother to tell me she was in the hospital.

Update: my mother is back at home and doing very well but she is still on oxygen and it will take her time to gain her strength back. I’m going to see her for her birthday in mid February and I told her she’d have to stay alive until then. I was going to go in to see her on the weekends, but she doesn’t want me to.

1/3/23 Should I Be Concerned or Flattered?

Someone in St. Louis is using my pictures on a list crawler ad and they put like cute little sayings with them. Of course it’s a different phone number but I certainly don’t want anyone in St. Louis thinking this is me. I’ll be doing new pictures this week.

12/31/22 New Years Resolutions

1. To continue losing weight and get down to 100 pounds off.

2. To continue making new friends.

3. To hopefully meet someone to be in a relationship with.

4. To work on getting another job so that I don’t have to rely on escorting as much.

5. To start an exercise program.

12/19/22 I am thankful for…

I am thankful for all the men who have ever shown up for their appointment with me. I am thankful to Tony, who always seems to show me he cares even if coming here is too difficult. I am thankful for Travis, who gave me a whole black leaf garbage bags, full of toilet paper at the beginning of the pandemic. I am thankful for John who can have any woman he wants and chooses to have me. I’m thankful to Jim who taught me football and continues to be my football mentor. I am thankful for Jim Z who really is my mentor and still talks to me even though I told him that he never shut up, I’m thankful for all the men who see me on a regular basis. You are not ever far from my mind. I’m thankful for all the friends I’ve made through what I do. I’m thankful to have been helpful to many people this past year and the years before.  If I ever felt that I was doing anything to hurt someone, I would not do it. Unless maybe they really deserved it. But even then I don’t have it in me. I’m thankful for the house I live in and the kitten that I’ve adopted.  I’m thankful for having my 92 year old mother, who is still as sharp as a tack. I’m thankful to be alive and I am uber thankful to be an American.

12/19/22 Gastric Bypass #7

I have now lost 47 pounds and I have been working my upper arms and my thighs pretty much from the get-go. I noticed that I’m stronger in both my arms and my legs. I’m not doing anything for my abdomen as that will get a tummy tuck. I have a C-section tummy, which means that you really can’t tone it up. I’m finally used to what I can eat and to tell you the truth I could eat better or more keto.But, I figure if I’m eating 600 cal a day I’m going to lose weight, doesn’t matter really what I eat. I’ve been off sugar since before. I had the operation and that’s going well. I should be walking, but in this weather, there ain’t no way! I’m happy with my body and I’m used to how I have to eat and what I can and can’t eat. Would I do it again? Definitely not with the company I did it with.They never followed up with me after the surgery whatsoever. They did a good operation and that’s that. Most of my education has come from trial and error.And you really should come and see the new me!

12/19/22 Here’s To ThoseGuys

Here’s to those guys that think they can make an appointment for a half hour out and show up an hour and a half out. Here’s to those guys that make an appointment, say really nice things about you, and then never show up. Here’s to my son who’s almost 25 and doesn’t have a job and doesn’t care to get a job but just wants to sponge off me . Here’s to the 20-somethings that never show up and here’s to all the men who have ever sold snake oil in one form or another. It seems to me that since Man became civilized, he figured out how to scam another man and quite frankly, I’m sick of it, I’m sick of all the scams, shams and bullshit that goes on. I want to go back to the 1950s before any of this kind of bullshit was thought of. But then I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing which, on many occasions, I think is not a bad thing.Can you tell I’m pissed? This is the perfect time to smoke a bowl! And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, all the better. A friend just reminded me of this song by Twisted Sister called “we’re not gonna take it anymore”. Listen to it because it’s exactly how I feel.

Update: I realize that the blog I just wrote was very angry. Sometimes I feel very irate and at the same time, I am grateful for what I have, and the friends that I have and my family. I’m not always this angry, but I wrote this blog on a day when I was and I’m not going to take it away, just because it’s an angry blog. I hope you realize that I don’t always write angry blogs, but at times there are reasons to let you know how I feel. I try to be as transparent for you as I can. And at times, I will delete a post that I put out, because I no longer agreed with it. I appreciate my readership.

12/9/22 Chapter 1, Paragraph 3

I fairly quickly found my routine of waking up early so that I could get ready for the day. When I first started out I would make appointments in the future but I quickly learned that that was not such a good idea because people just didn’t show up. That has to be the worst part of being an escort.Guys just don’t necessarily feel the need to let you know that they’re not going to be there. I find it very rude and anybody who doesn’t show up gets banned for life! At my prices of 60/100 I was busy to say the least.Absolutely no one ever said to me maybe you should increase your rates. I think Topeka was just so happy to have an escort and they didn’t want to ruin a good thing. I was naïve enough to not know that my rates were so low. So I was busy most of the day and this pleased me because as a social worker I was surrounded by people and interacting with clients and cohorts. So I was used to having company. I made the decision very early on that I was going to tell no one about what I do.The family that I came from would never understand and the family that I made I didn’t want them to know what their mother was doing. So yes there was shame involved.

12/1/22 On Having A New Kitten

OMG! If she’s not racing around the house and playing with her balls that have a little jingles in them, she’s fast asleep by my side. I’m trying to get her to sleep with me at night, but that isn’t working so far. After all she is a nocturnal animal , and she displays this at every turn. She’s absolutely adorable.And, being an orange cat, she is somewhat different because most orange cats are male! But make no doubt, she is my new companion and I’m very glad to have her.

12/1/22 Chapter 1, Paragraph 2

I dried my eyes and I went back in the room and I told my client to turn over on his stomach and I gave him what would become known as my “afterglow”. It was basically a wonderful back tickle. I had been doing these since I was five years old.Being very much the giver as opposed to a taker, I was well-suited for my new occupation. I relished giving pleasure. But what made me so successful had a lot to do with my social work skills. I can talk to anyone, I can pull out information from a person and use that to help them. Now granted, well over half of the clients I had could care less about what I had to say. But there was another half that often asked me for advice and here’s where my therapy skills were helpful. Once I started tickling my clients back I calmed down.It may not even have been the first time that I cried my eyes out but it certainly would not be the last time. Being an escort introduces you to a world of scams, getting ripped off, rude clientele, getting stiffed, and pretty much any negative thing you can think of. But that’s the bad side. The good side is that you make money like you never have. You meet people that are interesting and fun and like-minded. You get to go to places that you wouldn’t have gone to.There’s a whole world out there that’s ripe for the picking if you can just keep yourself out of trouble. Trouble? Cops are superb when it comes to busting escorts. You would think with it just being a misdemeanor that they would have more pressing things to do but I think it’s inevitable that if you’re an escort, you’re going to be busted at least once. I’ve seen a lot of women come and go and I always wondered if they left because they had been busted. I’ve learned so many things along the way to keep myself safe but every time I talk to a potential client I have to be cognizant that he could be a cop. I think the biggest misnomer about cops is that they have to tell you that they’re a cop if you ask them. This couldn’t be further from the truth. They don’t have to tell you anything and especially if they’re in pursuit of a crime they don’t have to tell you they’re a cop and they won’t. So you have to assume that every man you talk to is a cop. When I first started out, I met with a man who would go by the term “hobbyist”. This is someone who sees a lot of escorts and will pay high dollars for them. He told me that money went with looks.So I started my donations at 60 for a half hour and 100 for an hour. This was also in Topeka Kansas which is very blue-collar and the guys there weren’t going to pay very much. Even at these rates I doubled my social work income that first year.The second year I increased my donations to 75/125 and Topeka basically ghosted me. So I started looking into moving to Kansas City and I found that I could raise my rates substantially and still do very well. I am now at 100 for a half hour and 180 for an hour. Basically double what I started out. My rates are not based on looks. They are based on my personality, the experience I give you when you come see me, and also advice given to me from other hobbyist. To an extent, that first hobbyist that told me that money goes with looks was not completely incorrect. But I offer an experience that very few others offer or even care. A lot of what I do is customer service. A lot of what I did as a social worker was customer service. Go figure. If you take care of someone above and beyond what others are doing you’re going to get repeat customers and that’s what I have. I now make over $100,000 a year And I work for it

11/29/22 Chapter 1, Paragraph 1

11/25/22 Stepmother

Now usually if I’m talking about a stepmother it’s because some 24-year-old has asked me to roleplay her. But in this case I got a call from a stepmother wanting a service provided for her 19-year-old stepson. At first I denied her just based on his age, but then I thought about it and I thought that everybody has a price so I raised my price substantially and she agreed. She said to me that he knows what he’s doing and I asked how she knew that. Yeah, then I found out that she was on vacation with him.. And she has been with him in the biblical sense. I don’t know if this is a scam or a hoax but if he shows up I’ll take care of him.  You know, I try not to judge people being that I’m a social worker. I learned in social work school that different doesn’t mean deficient. This is definitely one of those times that things are definitely different.

Update: She nor he never called back again. It was probably all a hoax.

11/16/22 Business Sucks!

Maybe the reason I have not blogged in 2 weeks is because I have nothing good to say and I hate to sound like a broken record.  I don’t think it’s because I raised my rates for newbies.  Maybe it’s the recession that we’re not really in.  Maybe the cold weather.  But for whatever reason, things have been really slow.  Of course, I really can’t complain because even in my slowest week this year, I still made more than most any ordinary job I could qualify for!  One good thing?  I no longer cry over spilled milk or people not calling.  It is what it is…

11/16/22 Catie

Well, I made the leap and got a new kitten who is not really a kitten but six months old and she and I are bonding very well together. Please note that this does not take away from my grief over Jackie and in fact, at times I feel more grief because I’ve chosen someone new. Catie is simply adorable!  And very chill. She didn’t cry at all when I took her home in the cat carrier and Jackie would’ve had a fit. I will not make the same mistake twice. This cat will be an indoor cat only and, when I leave town, I will have someone staying with her. I have come to accept the thought that Jackie got into something outside that made her sick. Maybe it was a mouse who had poison in it. I will never know, but I know now what I did wrong. I don’t blame myself because it was ignorance on my part. I think I thought she would live until 19, but I guess that was just not in the cards. If Catie is half the cat the Jackie was, I’ll be very happy. She really is a breath of fresh air.

11/1/22 My Rates Revisited

I think I’m the cheapest escort in Kansas City and I think what bothers me the most is to think that people come to see me because of it. My last client balked at having to use a condom and yet let me know that he had used one with his last escort who was a $500 46-year-old ex porn star.  To say the least I was pissed. So much so that I showed him the door. And then I decided that I’m raising my rates. Granted I don’t have the balls to raise them too much as I have kept them low so I could see more people. But if guys are coming to me because I’m so low then I don’t wanna be known as an escort who is cheap.

10/25/22 Antisemitism

I will tell you this, with the state of affairs as they are in this country, it wouldn’t surprise me if I stopped telling people that I was Jewish. I mean, you never know who you’re with, what they believe or what they’re carrying. Now really, do you think I really believe this?  Do you really think I think I’m gonna be hurt because I’m Jewish? No I don’t and maybe I am looking through rose-colored glasses but this is not 1939. it seems to me that nowadays, any minority group is fodder for radical right wing terrorists. Skinheads and neo-Nazis have been around for a long time. They’re jus showing themselves more now that it is OK to do so.  Jews have been persecuted since the beginning of time. There’s nothing new going on that hasn’t been done many many times before and yet we still thrive as a community and culture. I may be secular but I’m still a Jew and if I think that your knowing that I’m Jewish will help a situation or a story I will tell you. Otherwise, there’s really no reason to.

10/25/22 My paid vacation

When a 72-year-old man asked me to go in his luxury fifth wheel to Bull Shoals lake/White River, I jumped at the opportunity. Anybody who knows me, knows I have a love of RVs and I hope to own a Model C one day. I had never been in a camper before. Plus I would be remunerated nicely. But what I didn’t realize was that he was half deaf and half the time he would hear me and still say “what?”. It was a bad habit of his that drove me crazy. Very nice man, not the brightest I’ve ever met, but very successful at what he’s done and in better shape at 72 then I am at 55 (when will I stop lying about my age?).  The Forest River Riverstone Legacy was a beautiful and luxurious 42 foot fifth wheel and I was very happy that he invited me to go with him. I think the next time I do this I’ll get to know the person a little bit better though.

10/20/22 My Jackie’s Gone

I had to put Jackie, my beloved cat, down at 9:30 am this morning.  She had liver failure that could not have been helped and she was no longer drinking, eating or grooming herself.  I believe in Karma and I can see that it was her time to go.  Doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye, but at least she’s not in pain.  

10/20/22 Poundage

I’ve lost 30 pounds in the first 2 months.  And best of all, have not thrown up in a week!  I also have figured out that sausage and I do not like each other!

10/13/22  Gastric Bypass #6: The good the bad and the ugly of gastric bypass

Of course, the best part of gastric bypass is losing weight. This is also the main reason for having a gastric bypass along with diminishing problems with comorbidity issues such as diabetes and high blood pressure.  The fact that the weight loss is fairly quick also makes a gastric bypass look pretty good.

But, people don’t talk about the downside of having gastric bypass. Probably most bothersome is the fact that you will never eat more than four or five bites of food at any one sitting. Also is the fact that you can’t drink water 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after a meal including the meal.  This makes it near impossible to get 64 ounces of water in each day. And then you put on top of that the fact that you can only sip the water, you cannot drink it normally makes it even more difficult. I’ll be honest. Besides my coffee in the morning I may get 16 to 32 ounces of water in me a day yet I do not feel dehydrated in the least.Did I mention the fact that you can only eat 4 to 5 bites at a time? And you should chew your food 30 times before swallowing? Well what I didn’t mention is that if you eat one more bite then you should, you will be nauseated and you may very well throw up. Interestingly enough when you do throw up, nothing much comes up except a lot of gastric juices. Speaking of gastric juices, I no longer have reflux and I no longer take my Prilosec. Along with that medication I’m hoping to get rid of my high blood pressure medication, my NSAID for my knees and knee pain in and of itself. One of two things will happen to my knees once I lose all the weight I can.  Either the weight loss will take so much pressure off of them that they won’t hurt anymore or I’ll be able to have a knee replacement because I’m at a weight where they will perform the surgery.

I had my gastric bypass done at KC bariatrics and I would not recommend them to anybody. They are a facility that does more of these procedures than any other facility in the United States and it feels like an assembly line. I got very little support either before or after the surgery and had to look for my own dietitian because theirs was inept to say the least.  On top of that, I could not get physical therapy through them because I was a self-pay and not a pay through insurance. People with insurance can get physical therapy but if you pay $16,000 you can’t get physical therapy. This is all about money because physical therapy will be covered by insurance so they don’t have to pay for it. I think just the fact that I shelled out $16,000 to have this done should qualify me for getting physical therapy. This is another service that I will be getting a referral for. KC bariatrics told me very little about how my life would change. About the things that I would have to do to lose weight and maintain the weight loss. They really dropped the ball though after the surgery. They knew all the medication I was on and yet never talked to me about my lithium which I almost died from because the level was four times higher than I needed and I went into toxemia. There are plenty of places to get a gastric bypass and I would not suggest KC bariatrics.

It hasn’t even been two months and I know that I’m bitching about what I’m going through but I wish that I had read more about the changes and complications that GB can cause. Ask me in two months if I’m happy that I have this. I don’t think my attitude will change much but maybe I’ll be a little bit more grateful and appreciative of the weight I’ve lost. In two more months you’ll really be able to see the new me and it will help a lot to hear from others how good I look. I’m not usually a very vain person but when you spend $16,000 to lose weight it helps to have people notice.

10/10/22 Gastric bypass #5

Well I’m down 25 with 75 to go and just as I start to feel like I’m getting the hang of this I have Red Lobster to celebrate a good week at work. To say that I was dismayed would be an understatement. Seafood is definitely not going to be on my list of easy-to-eat foods! It’s hard to chew into small tiny parts which is basically what I have to do. So as the seafood is slithering down my throat guess what’s coming back up? Yes you guessed it. I have come to realize that vomiting is not as bad as everybody thinks it is. Or maybe it is and I just don’t have a bad experience with that reflex. I think had I eaten breaded seafood it might’ve been a better experience but I was pretty upset. I did make a pasta-less lasagna this week that came out really good and was all proteins so that’s good. I’m not even at two months and I’m hearing from other people that they’re still sore. The only time I’m sore is when I eat. i’m hoping to get a referral to a dietitian and a physical therapist through my new PCP that I see this week. I’m doing some exercises at home and I’m doing some walking. I’ve made it to the end of the block and I’m very proud of myself for this.  Stay tuned.

10/6/22 Jena and Nia

I got a card in the mail today and it was probably the nicest card/thought that I received from anyone while going through the trials and tribulations I’ve been going through. They even included a $20 bill to help me in any way that I felt I needed it. The card read “Patty, sorry to hear that you are going through some rough times. Hope life blesses you with an abundant supply of good karma. Take care, Jena and Nia.“ Well I’m happy to say to Jena and Nia and everyone else out there that I think I’m getting my mojo back. I still haven’t lost the weight I want to lose even for this week but I know that I’m doing the things I need to do and I’m gonna be getting help with the eating part.  I don’t know Nia very well but I’ve known Jena since 2017 when I first got a hold of a mutual associate named silver. I’m sure many of you remember silver and her antics and her wonderful personality. If it hadn’t been for silver I never would’ve met Jena. Jena and I had to part ways because of our political views which even writing this sounds ridiculous but at the time it didn’t feel that way. I’ve heard a lot of people tell me that they’ve lost friends because of the political atmosphere in this country. I still to this day, feel bad and many times lonely for Jena‘s friendship but it’s been so long that you don’t really know where to begin again or even if you should. Jena and Nia thank you. You brightened my day, you added to my party coffers and I will think of you for days to come if not months and years.  Oh, and I’m not sorry if this was too syrupy for the guys. “FUCKERS”!!

10/3/22 Judgments

One thing that I’ve always found to be so weird and circumspect and funny all at the same time is the fact that the people I usually judge the harshest to begin with are those people that I usually end up liking the most. I don’t usually get along famously with someone upon just meeting them and if I do it usually turns out badly.  I need to take heed of what I’m telling you and what advice I’m giving you. We all judge. It’s just a part of our natures. We may be people that judge favorably, unfavorably or life just passes us by. But we do judge and what I’m saying is keep your brain open when you hear it say “I don’t think I like this person“ or “he’s kind of one bubble off“. Some of those guys and girls that I thought were one bubble off we’re actually one bubble on and even if they came across as a little strange to begin with, I almost always ended up liking them and respecting them and laughing that they are one bubble off!  After all, aren’t we all just one bubble off? If you don’t know what I mean by this get out your level put it level and noticed that there’s a bubble in the middle. If your level is one bubble off it’s not quite straight.

10/3/22 Thinking about taking a real job

I’ve been thinking about becoming an insurance adjuster and have actually applied several places. I haven’t heard from anybody but nowadays that’s to be expected. I’ve looked into this before and the pay is pretty good, I think I could live on it and I think I might like the work. Now the big question is, do I give up this business? I will say this about that. I will probably stop advertising. I’m not even sure right now how much advertising does for me. With sales down and frustration up I’m researching and thinking.  Now if I could just get somebody to call me back.

10/3/22 Jackie Sue

When I was in the hospital Jackie my cat kind of had a cat attack and I think went through a lot of stress, possibly got into some poison and was not herself at all for three weeks. I never saw her eat Or drink and we couldn’t figure out how she was still alive. $600 later at the vets house we think she had some sort of infection. She’s back to eating and duh rinking but not very much. She’s lost about half her weight And it’s pretty lethargic most of the time but then when is a cat not lethargic? I’ve been letting her outside to get some fresh air and that seems to be helping. I just wanted to give an update because she is such a part of my life, she’s part of my family and just about everyone who comes in here sees her.

10/3/22 Mania

Mania, in its truest form, is a condition whereby your emotional state of being goes too high and too fast and you’re hanging on for dear life. Your thoughts race, you sing the same song over and over and over, and over again. And you’re not really interested in doing any one thing At any one time.. Since I suffer from both mania and depression with the mania side being very slight but still there. Well I think it’s fair To say that depression far far outweighs the emotional gravity of the two but then I have truly only been hyper manic meaning I was so high I wasn’t sleeping for days, I’ve only been that way for one time and it was pretty fucking bad. I’m not saying that you should choose mania over depression and really you don’t have a choice anyway. Your body your mind your chemistry chooses for you.  It’s my thought that there are a lot more bipolar people out there than we know about because they keep it to themselves.

10/3/22 Therapy

I don’t get it because I was a therapist for so long and now I hear the people don’t want to air their dirty laundry! it’s 2022! It’s not 1982!  I really see this as an excuse to not have to deal with it. When I ask people so did you go to therapy with your wife over this and they tell me that she didn’t want to air her dirty laundry, I always think no, she did not want to deal with it. And in my mind that’s even worse.. So the next time you find yourself saying or hearing said I don’t air my dirty laundry just think about what I’ve said that that’s not really what it’s about. It’s about not wanting to go there, it’s about shame over past things that you either couldn’t or could control, and shame about present things that you either cannot or will not deal with. It’s an excuse that’s all it is. I’m not saying that therapy is right for everybody but I seriously think about half the people I see could benefit from it. It’s hard to talk about emotional things without the mediator of a therapist in the room. Someone helping you decipher how you feel and what you’re thinking and doesn’t make sense and do I need to change does she need to change, Do we both need to change? I guarantee you this though. If you make a change, she will make a change. That’s just how it works. I have an example. I have a friend whose wife nitpick him to death every night. Finally he stopped responding. finally, he stopped giving in. Did things get better instantaneously? No they never do but she stopped nitpicking in large part and I think they coexist much more happily. I’ve decided that marriage is all about coexisting. And to end this blog I will say that I’m not sure I will ever experience that again. 22 down 78 to go.

9/26/22 Thank you Dave!

Now you just have to let me know your age so I can reserve you the hour session that you so kindly gave me.  

9/25/22 Negativity

A devoted client who reads all of my blogs told me that lately my blogs have been negative.  I realize this and sometimes life throws you a curve ball and other times you get a windfall.  Right now, things seem pretty bleak.  I spent 8 days in the hospital and 22 out of the last 30 days in bed.  Or with my sisters.  So I have not been working like usual.  I’m also off my psych meds and that impacts how I feel tremendously.  You know me, the cat that lands on her feet every time and I will again!

9/19/22 Jackie

I’m pretty sure that my cat is dying.  I took her to an emergency vet who wanted $1000 to diagnose her. I let her do a UTI and treat her for this but I can tell that her kidneys are shutting down. If nothing else you smell an ammonia scent from her mouth. She’s not in pain and if she is I will euthanize her but this has been one of the most difficult weeks that I’ve had in a long time. I hate to be negative and I know that most of my followers probably don’t want me to be negative but sometimes it just can’t be helped. On top of all this, I’ve decided not to go to St. Louis at the end of this month. I’ve barely gotten any response and I’m not going to spend money on gas and hotels just to sit around. I don’t know if it’s a recession or people just don’t like me but I am starting to think that my traveling days are over. And quite honestly, I don’t really have a problem with that. Oh sure I get guys who asked me when I’m coming back but it’s usually just one or two people. Not worth my trouble and money.  I will say one nice thing that is happening this week and said I’m getting a new refrigerator. The old one has maggots and doesn’t cool off at all. It smells to high heaven so I’ll be very happy to have a new refrigerator. Maybe my slumlord isn’t such a slumlord! Lol

9/19/22 23 Pounds

23 pounds down in one month and I only threw up once today! The thing is you have to remember to not  drink water in big gulps, to take tiny bites, to chew your food 28 times.  And not drink water a half hour before you eat and a half hour after you eat.  This is not as easy as you might think!

9/15/22 Gastric Bypass #4

It’s only been 3 weeks and I’m still nauseated most of the time.  I’ve lost 13 pounds and I think I look worse.  Maybe I’ll feel better in 4 months!  I’m back to working and doing well with that.  If I had known a bunch of different information, would I still have done this?  Too late for regrets!

9/8/22 Gastric Bypass #3

I don’t know quite how to say this but I think a lot of you know that I am bipolar and what happened was that I kind of went into a Lithium Toxicity which landed me in the hospital.  KC Bariatrics should have prepared me for this.   Sometime I’ll delineate why you should not go to KC Bariatrics or NKCH.

7 days later, the Hospitalist prescribes me a new medication that just happens to cost $1500 per month.  Not only did he not get pre-authorization through my insurance, but he did no research about the cost of this med.  And then, because he works for the Hospital, once you are discharged, he can no longer talk to you.  So here, I am.  No meds besides the ones I had and no provider. Un-fucking believable.