New Blogs 4/18/24

4/18/24 My New BS Meter

I have begun to write down the number of times each day I deal with BS. Yesterday it was nine times. I’ve been telling clients that for every appointment that I set, I probably talk to seven other guys before them! They are either a scam or too young or too black and young or they just rub me the wrong way. Low Ballers, guys who don’t read my ad and ask stupid questions, and just a myriad of bullshit out there. I think anybody who deals in sales or customer service probably goes through the same thing. Where are the guys that simply ask if you’re available, tell you their name, age and race and when they’re going to show up?

4/18/24 There’s Always One

I’m in St. Louis and my first appointment that scheduled with me two weeks ago did not show up. If that were the only thing I had to say about the guy, I wouldn’t be all that concerned. But not only did he no-show, he threatened me. He threatened to call the hotel I’m staying at and let them know about me. He told me that he had talked with four people that said I do BBFS and he read a blog where I had an STD.  In the first place, how could he have talked to four people that I’ve seen? No possible way. Secondly, you can’t even read my old blogs now and he hasn’t been able to the whole time he’s known me. And I never wrote about having an STD. So this guy was utter bullshit and I told him that if he called the hotel, I would retaliate. And I really would. I don’t like to be threatened, nobody does. But in my line of work, I take that very seriously. Now, he didn’t call the hotel or if he did, they didn’t let me know.  I simply was going to tell them that this guy was an old boyfriend who knew I was coming here and is harassing me.  There always seems to be one misogynist who schedules with me, then doesn’t show and harasses me.  I guess in my occupation, you have to take everything seriously, but in all actuality, I’ve never had any real trouble when I travel. And, of course, I didn’t today either.

4/12/24 Trying to Read People

I am often asked what I like and don’t like about what I do. I’m sure I’ve written many blogs about this, but there’s one thing that I’ve never really talked about. And that’s how difficult it can be to read people and know how to respond to them. I have found that everyone who comes to see me has a different agenda. And trying to figure out what that agenda is without coming right out and asking it, is next to impossible.

A lot of times I will just come out and ask what did you come for, what would you like? But then you might get a partial answer or something that just doesn’t feel right. And I never know if somebody likes and wants to kiss me, which can be very precarious. I offer GFE, girlfriend experience, which includes a lot of things that many men might not want. But trying to figure that out can be nerve-racking. I think this is what makes me so anxious about traveling. Because I see new guys back to back to back, and I have to figure out each new guy when I see them. I’m pretty open about asking people what they’re wanting and what they’re missing. I do this because I find that most men who come to see me are missing something or they wouldn’t be there. Some guys are really open about this and others just don’t know. As with everything, I do the best I can given what I have to work with.

4/6/24 The.Worst.Trip.Ever.

I went to Springfield this last weekend and it has never been this bad when I travel! I had 14 appointments scheduled and I ended up seeing 5 people. There were 3 no-shows and 6 cancellations. That is just ridiculous. The only saving grace is that I got a really good deal on a hotel room. I will never ever go back to Springfield again. My experience there was the exact opposite of Omaha. And I figured since they were about the same size and I had been there before, I would have a good time. Boy, was I ever wrong!! But you live and learn, and I had to try Springfield one more time to find out that I never want to go there again. A lot of my cancellations were because of work so I’m making it my new policy when I book an appointment when I travel, I am going to make sure that nothing will get in the way. At least nothing foreseeable. I understand that people get sick. Of course the people that get sick usually get sick the day of. But to make an appointment when you know you might have to work is not acceptable. I’m really trying to see this as a good lesson.

4/1/24 I Am Not A Whore

I am not a whore. I am an escort. There is a huge difference. You may think it’s semantics, but it’s way more than that for me. When a man calls me a whore, he is completely demeaning my personhood, my humanity and my occupation. I am also not a prostitute. Both of the above aforementioned people walk the streets and do car dates. They are usually on drugs and must maintain their habit. This is not always the case, but it is so many times. A whore does not care who she sleeps with and a prostitute will do just about anything for a buck.

I am neither of these. I am a discerning, selective escort, specializing in upscale home spa treatments. I work out of a three bedroom home on a dead-end street. I should walk more often, but I’m not going to walk the streets for my job. I comport myself in such a manner as to never have to deal with any form of abuse, including rape or assault. I maintain complete charge over my environment and this is the way in which I can let go because I know I am safe. If this were to ever change, I would rethink my use of protection.

Can you tell that this makes a big difference to me? A man today called me a whore, and it struck me to the very core of me. It’s one thing to call me your “dirty little whore“ in the context of a session. It’s a whole ‘nother thing to figure out what I do, to get angry about it and lash out at me. That was definitely not cool, and I will not be speaking to him again. I suppose, if he wants to feel better than me, he should probably call me a whore. But those of you who know me and know me well, will always call me an escort. You may think I’m mincing words, but they mean the world to me. Maybe the next time you want to use that word “whore” to describe a woman, you will think twice.

Response to this Blog:

You are absolutely correct in your delineation of the difference between a whore/prostitute and escort. Yes, they are sex providers but the difference lies in the way the product is delivered. An escort provides an environment to make the client comfortable and safe. An escort interviews to know the client and provide a full comprehensive service patterned to the client’s needs.  An escort attempts to create a relationship during the session. An escort does not rush through her service. An escort does not ask “Are you done yet”.

I have never seen you in any light other than a professional escort and friend.

3/21/24 Living Too Long

My 93-year-old mother said to me today that she lived too long. She lived to see her son‘s death. And no mother should ever have to bury a child. Especially not a 69-year-old one. So, do you think there is an age at which you’ve lived too long? My sister had the audacity to ask my mother if she felt that she’d rather live or die because she didn’t think my mother really cared. Well, she got a mouthful from me and my mother confirmed that yes she does want to live. Even with the pain that she deals with, which isn’t overwhelming, and her frailty of body, she still enjoys life. She enjoys reading and watching all sorts of sports. It’s the only programs that you don’t have to be able to listen to because her hearing is so bad. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that she’s always loved sports more than anything else. She likes to get out and eat good food. She likes to see her daughters and her grandchildren and her great grandchildren. Who would want to leave that? Now if she were bedridden or a vegetable, then I could see wanting to leave. But she is neither, and for 93 she’s doing pretty well.She still lives alone. She has a life alert. Until recently, she never even used cane, but my sister asked her to start using one because she’s afraid she’s going to fall. She drives three times a week to get food or to go to the beauty salon. I would say she still has a pretty good life. My sister likes to stick her foot in her mouth a lot. I can go on about that but I won’t. Yes, I think life is worth living. I didn’t when I was 29, but I’m glad I survived and I’m glad I’m here to see every new day. I know my mother is also.

3/20/24 My Brother is Dying

Just found out that my brother is dying. He has been in the hospital for sepsis and he refuses to do anything that they ask him to do. Now his kidneys are failing and he probably has a month left. They’re sending him back to the nursing home with hospice. I plan to go there this weekend or next to say my final goodbyes. I’m very sad but my brother has lived a good life and kind of a hard life too. He’s definitely on the spectrum, but completely brilliant and very very oppositional. Doesn’t matter what you say to him, he disagrees. Always has to have the final word. This is what I will say finally killed him.

Update: 3/22/24 My brother, Jim, died of kidney failure. He went quickly and without pain.

3/19/24 I am getting better!

It used to be that if a man wasn’t satisfied his first time around with me, I would give him money back or offer him a free second session. Then I changed it back to offering half price second session. I am happy to say that I’m no longer offering that or money. I have come to realize that it’s not about me. I’m doing everything in my power to make sure you are satisfied when you leave here. I cannot help if you are so nervous that you just can’t perform. I also cannot help any other emotional state you’re having. And by and large, this is the reason that you did not reach your peak. It only took me eight years to realize this and not to feel so guilty over it. I’m not guilty of anything except trying. At times, I may try too hard, but it’s better than not.

3/19/24 Service is Service

I don’t care what service industry you are in or work for, but I do know this. Every service industry is the same in that you are always trying to please the client. A lot of people don’t understand how an escort can remain emotionally detached, but all I’m really concerned with is making sure you are pleased when you leave. The goal of any service is to make you want to come back again. Of course, that is true for any industry. But never more so than the service industry. If I receive really poor customer service, I am not likely to ever go back. But the opposite is true also. And it’s not just about the service that you give. For me it’s also about safety and how well I was able to dispel your nerves, in addition to how good of a service I gave you.

There are many factors that go into seeing and going back to see an escort that might not translate to other service industries. Location, safety, looks, performance, originality, the atmosphere and ambience, many factors. I was recently talking to a man who has a party/event business, and I tried to impress upon him that what he does is not that much different from what I do. All of the factors that I have are the same for him, even if they look different. When someone is looking for a venue, they’re looking for location, performance, reviews, atmosphere and ambience, you get the idea! Is he able to stay emotionally detached from his clients? I dare say he is.

So why should it be any different for me. The funny thing is, no one ever asks a man why he had sex and did not get emotionally involved, but when a woman does this, it’s considered strange. I’ll bet there are a lot of women out there, escorts and not, who can keep their emotions separate from sex. Thanks to the feminist movement, since the 70s, women have been displaying this more and more. I, for one, do not have any problem with this.

3/17/24 Love Thoughts

I often think about what this world is all about. I’ve heard it said many times that the point to life is love. Being loved and giving love. This is why I talk about love so much in my blogs. It’s important to me. And if sometimes I sound a little desperate, it’s because sometimes I feel a little desperate. But then I get over myself and realize that even a life alone is a good life or at least it can be. Make no doubt about it, I will continue to look for love wherever I can find it. Love is fluid and it comes and goes. I suppose true love does not come and go. How many of us actually find true love? And isn’t true love just love that’s built over time. When I ask men if their wives are their best friends, I’m not asking them for my sake, I’m asking them for their sake. And it occurs to me that I could lose clients because of this question but the point is that you don’t give up your best friend especially later in life. And most of the men I see are later in life. True love is coming home to your best friend every single night and seeing them every single morning. That’s what I believe.

3/17/24 Paid Lover/Mistress

For many of my clients, and mostly those that I see often, I am their paid lover. Call me a lover or call me a mistress but that is what I am. It’s all a matter of how regular a customer you want to be. If you see me once every six months or even once a year, that’s a maintenance kind of relationship. Someone safe to see when you need that extra boost. It’s really only in those client/companion relationships where I see you once a month or more that we develop a connection.

Once that connection is developed, it’s hard to break it. Both parties look forward to the next time they’re going to see each other and both parties might think about it several times before they actually see each other. But the tenor of the relationship is so much different based on how often I see you. I have to say that I truly enjoy being a part-time lover. I think the men that I see often would probably not call me by that term, but it applies nevertheless. Sometimes, if I’m really comfortable, I will even let you call me your dirty little whore. But I have to be very comfortable for that!

This relationship, this connection, evolves as you get to know somebody. I catch myself enough to say that not every connection evolves. And when I say the word evolve, I mean that that connection grows deeper and the things we will try together can become more complex and more kinky for that matter. Yet, for some, it stays the same. That’s what they need and that’s what they desire, and they don’t look to change that. Which is kind of interesting because, often times, that is exactly what their marriage looks like.

I, as a person, crave connection. I don’t think this is true of everybody, but it is certainly true of me. And I do look forward to seeing the people that I have a connection with. I work with the goal of making that connection. But other things also come into play such as finances and availability. Like I said before, I will not probably make that connection with you if I only see you sporadically. If you don’t have the finances and the availability to see someone regularly, that can hinder this. I think this is why a lot of escorts want to see older, generous men. In this way, they know that there is a good chance that these men will have the finances/availability to see someone regularly.

Isn’t that the goal of every escort? To have a stable of regulars, and never have to worry about seeing someone new? Just in the same way that you don’t want to see someone new because of the challenges involved in doing so, I would rather see people I’ve already seen. This is why escorts verify you through other escorts that you have seen in the past. This is one of the only ways to know that you are not involved in law-enforcement. I understand why they do it, but I’m not willing to go there. I’m OK with simply not talking about sex in a text. And certainly not sex and money in a text.

I end this blog with just a statement. I hope that the men I see regularly recognize themselves in this blog. I so enjoy your company and I look forward to seeing you every single time. You are my bread and butter and my cats meow. I will endeavor to pretty much do anything to keep you around. OK, within reason!

3/17/24 Never ask this: are you a cop?

There is absolutely no reason to ever ask an escort or a client if they are a cop, and these are the reasons why.

1. The only cops that are not in uniform are undercover municipal police, and they never have to tell you if they are a cop.

2. Police that are investigating or looking into a possible crime, can lie about anything to get the information they want. This includes telling you if they are a cop or not. They can also have sex with you and then bust you. Most police departments frown upon this, but I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen.

3. You will never get busted by a sheriff because they do not have anything to do with vice. And you will never find an undercover sheriff because they don’t exist. It is always municipal police that do this work.

4. Your best bet against getting busted is to find someone who has a lot of good reviews and looks like they would be safe and then stick with that person, especially if you like them.

5. Just remember, if you’re seeing someone new in Kansas, you don’t want to go to a hotel because they are using Hyatt Place hotels to bust people in Johnson county.If they can afford to use a Hyatt Place you don’t know where they might show up.

6. The better questions to ask are how long have you been doing this and do you live in a house? You can see on list crawler how long they have been on that site. I would definitely stay away from the ones who have only been on there for a day or a week. Cops place ads sporadically, whereas escorts place ads every single day so you need to look at the old posts also to see how often they are placing ads. If they’re not placing ads every single day, it’s probably either a scam, or a bust, but more likely the former.

3/17/24 Fell in Love with Omaha!

OMG, I had such a good time in Omaha! I had my best day ever fiscally, and that created my best week ever. I feel like I’m finally coming into my own. I was told many times that I was completely different from anybody else they’ve met. I love those words! That’s because I like to think of myself as being different and that’s a good thing. Of course, they also meant it in the nicest light.

I literally had no no-shows. I did have one guy who canceled at the last minute and then told me he lied because he was just paranoid. He wanted to have a drink with me and I found out that that’s all he really wanted. so I guess you could call that a no-show. Definitely a waste of my time and I let him know this.

This is the first trip that I actually made more money than I projected based on the appointments I had set up. Even though I had a couple cancellations, I was able to fill those spots readily. As usual, I got many phone calls while I was there and several afterwards. I will be going back May 9-11!

I think what made this trip so special and wonderful for me is the fact that I only had one half hour appointment. The rest were all an hour or more. So I think what I’m going to do from now on is raise my half hour rate to encourage more hour appointments because that’s really what I like. I would much rather see five men for an hour than eight men for a half hour. I did not feel stressed out at all during this trip because it was so low volume.

The hardest part of traveling is meeting, so many new people in such a short time. I suppose if I really didn’t give a shit who I saw or if I saw them again, it wouldn’t be so nerve-racking. But I’m trying to get to know each and every person. I believe that’s the only way to form any kind of connection. I suppose that’s a big reason for why I blog in the first place. I want you to get to know me, I want you to feel a connection to me.

I am going to try to cultivate more hour long and hour plus appointments. I will be putting out new touring rates today. I will end this blog with “Omaha, I love you!”.

3/12/24 Say Goodbye

I am so sad to have to write that I have lost my favorite client, and a very good friend of mine. He has not died, but simply has decided to go back with his ex-wife. Which, in this case, might be a fate worse than death! We had a really special relationship in that he was my “favorite” client (and yes, I do have favorites), and we dated. Maybe not in the traditional sense of dating, but we went out together and we had a really good time together. I will miss this person terribly. And I consider him to be one of the most intellectual and stimulatingly knowledgeable people that I’ve ever met. But obviously, when it comes to his emotional IQ, he’s about 15 years old. Let me explain myself.

This woman left him for another man after 20 years of marriage and served him divorce papers in another state. She took him for half of what he had, and then squandered it in about two years. This will be her thirdor fourth time coming back to him because she cannot make it on her own. And each time he takes her back, he allows her to stay with him for less time than the time before because she’s so incalculably difficult and dependent. She’s bipolar and not on her medication. She tried to steal his identity for $25,000 and she is being prosecuted by a major national bank for this. She could easily go to jail.She also got involved in a cult and stopped taking her medication. This woman is not a good person. At least not from everything he’s told me and I’m thinking he sugarcoated it!

Why do such rational, intellectual, sane men make such bad decisions for themselves? I have no doubt that she will show her true colors once again, and be out of there in three months. I just don’t know if I want to go back to seeing this person again in any capacity. Yes, escorts do get to pick and choose who they will see. We even had this huge date planned for my birthday, all for naught.I can’t tell you how upset I am at this moment. I really should have prepared myself for this. And I shouldn’t have gotten as close to this person as I did. That is definitely something an escort should never do. It’s a very bad proposition all the way around.

Wow! I will definitely rethink how I do my work because of what has happened today. I can see that I got way too close to this person and I can also see that I did not see the writing on the wall. As an ex-therapist, I really feel like I dropped the ball on myself. We had a whole discussion about two weeks ago regarding our relationship because he wanted to hold my hand and kiss me in public, but he did not want to have a relationship with me outside of friendship. I told him then that I was not going to pretend to be his girlfriend. We could go on our dates and that would be fine, but I was not going to hold his hand, kiss him in public, and otherwise act like we’re in a relationship when we’re not. It was then that he told me of all the issues he had. Only one of them was the fact that he was still in love with his ex-wife. I did the right thing in curtailing that part of the relationship that felt fake and false, but what I didn’t do is prepare myself for her coming back into his life. I should have seen that would happen. Especially from everything he’s told me about her. And I really think he has used me as a sounding board. Right now, I feel sorry for myself, but I think I feel more sorry for him. I can see clearly what will happen. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

Are you surprised the escort can get attached to a client? Now granted, he was not my typical client. And I do not typically get attached to any client. He was special. And I hope to remember him that way.

Answer to this Blog:

Parting with a close friend is difficult and life impacting. A period of adjustment is normal but it rebalances life.  Life goes on regardless of what occurs.  We are a resilient bunch. 

As I read the blog, it became evident that your friend is blinded by the whatever (charm, feminine wilds) of this woman. His logic is flawed in making a decision to get back with her. 

Further, his acceptance of her is probably short term. He will be without her once again.  When it happens he probably will be looking to return to his old friends and very likely you are going to be part of it. Be ready to be consoling but level headed as you decide to accept him back. 

I’m sorry you have lost a good friend. However the situation is temporary and he will return probably “hat in hand”. 

3/6/24 A Good Head On My Shoulders!

A friend remarked to me the other day that I have a very good head on my shoulders. And I couldn’t agree more. I do have a good head for most things. But, boy oh boy, when it comes to love, I obviously do not. I mean how, after all, could I have been so snookered by a fucking alcoholic, who sold me a bill of goods and had me drinking from the trough? I like to think that I’m better than that. But obviously, I am not. And as much as it pains me to admit that, the only way to get better is to first admit that you have a problem. I would say I definitely have a problem.

I’m great at business. I’m great as an escort. I’m creative and talented and smart. So why can’t I get this whole love thing? Why can’t I see the forest for the trees? Am I so immersed in the forest that I just can’t see the whole picture? Because once I’m outside of that forest, oh my gosh, the picture is so clear. But when I’m in there, I might as well be blind.

Now, having written this, it’s on me to do something about this.Did you actually think I wrote these blogs for you? Oh, no! I write them for me. This is my therapy. You might not have known that or you might have, but either way, make no doubt about it. This is now on my to do list. And I will be more cognizant of how I go about starting a relationship because obviously what I’ve been doing isn’t working. And when something isn’t working, you don’t keep bashing your head against the same brick wall over and over again! Because if you do that, then you are insane. That is the definition of insanity.

I want to end this blog, that did not start out to be what I have now written, with a thought about my blogs. Someone recently said that it’s like reading a diary and I addressed this in a blog. But I want to add that, if my being as honest as I am and as transparent as I can be bothers you, or makes you realize how dishonest you are or untransparent you are, I can’t help you. What I hope my blogs do is make you realize that you share a lot of the same issues I do. Or at least see my issues as something that you can relate to in your own life. Obviously not every single blog. But maybe there’s just one blog that you relate to and it helps you. This is where my blogs are for you, because not only is this therapy for me, but it’s also maybe a little therapy for you. And, so be it if they’re just simply entertaining. I can live with that. What I obviously cannot live with is the thought of not writing about my issues or sharing them with you. As long as you are listening, I will continue to share, and I will hopefully continue to get better.

3/2/24 I Have a Stalker!

His name is Diego, he’s 27 years old from Council Bluffs, Iowa and he gets a new burner app number every time he calls me to make an appointment. He has made five appointments with me in the last months and a half and every time he tells me that it’s actually Diego not who he said it was. So this means I have to cancel an hour appointment that I was expecting money for. I’ve wasted time, energy and my patience over this guy. I am now telling him that I will figure out where he lives, and who he really is and either get him arrested or send somebody up there to hurt him. And if you don’t think I can do this, think again! I am so upset right now, as I write this, but I know I need to write this now. In eight years of doing this, I have never ever had a stalker! And the last time he did it, he said that he realized his fantasy of being with me was never going to come true. A fucking 27-year-old Mexican guy! And then he turns right around and makes another appointment with me. Now, I feel like I have to get a picture from everyone under 40 making an appointment with me. I’m sure I won’t do that, but that’s how I feel and that’s not a good feeling. Wow, I cannot believe this is even happening to me.

2/28/24 Marty Blog #1

”Manhattan keeps on making it, Brooklyn keeps on taking it, Bronx keeps creatin’ it, and Queens keeps on fakin’ it ….” 

The Bridge is Over

Boogie Down Productions

My name is Marty. I’m a 45-year-old so called Black man, born, raised and currently still residing within the confines of New York City. With the exception of travel, vacation and a few short stints spent living in the state of New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Georgia, I have called New York City home for the majority of my life. 

My journey began shortly before noon, on the first day of summer, inside Lenox Hill Hospital on the Upper East Side. I was raised in the County of Kings, better known as Brooklyn.  If it were still it’s own city, Brooklyn would be the fourth largest in the United States. Behind only the rest of New York City, Los Angeles and Chicago. 

As a veteran New York City bicycle messenger and avid cyclist in general, I canvassed the vast blocks and avenues of my beloved “concrete jungle.” My cohorts and I were an eclectic mix of semi pro cyclists, students, writers, artists, photographers, and mechanics. Men and women who loved and lived to ride fast.  Mashing and spinning our way through the five boroughs: Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, The Bronx and Staten Island. Observing the comings and goings of NYC’s millions of residents from the vaunted positions of our leather Brooks saddles. 

We enjoyed the height of the early 2000’s track bike and fixed gear scene. Daily congregations at Union Square on Fourteenth Street in Manhattan. An island situated in the middle of traffic, separating traffic on either side of Park Avenue South. Thousands of dollars worth of two wheelers ready to wage assault on the tumultuous vehicle traffic that dominates the most populated city in the United States.  

And what did we learn?

In the shadow of many vast skyscrapers and landmarks, exists the most culturally diverse city in the United States. The boroughs populated by ethnic enclaves form a melting pot that draws in people from different cultural backgrounds and identities. Where strangers from every continent and corner of the world congregate and become fast friends. An amalgamation of native language, ideas, food and artistry to name a few. 

As a first hand observer, this exciting and, oftentimes,  overwhelming melding of culture directly precipitated the meeting of my newest friend, the illustrious Patty. 

The city is constantly changing and evolving. Unfortunately, not all change is good and for the better. The recent ongoings of this great city made me begin to strongly question how long I’d continue to maintain my “lifelong residency.”

Rising rents, the influx of migrants seeking asylum, a failing criminal justice system, the seemingly crumbling infrastructure, a rodent infestation, daily commuters lacking situational awareness, heads glued to their cellphones ignoring their surroundings, and callously ignoring those around them. At times, it can all be too much ….

I decided I needed a break. An escape. But for good? Could I do it. I decided to plan some trips to major cities in the country I had yet visited. That is how I made the acquaintance of Patty. I was impressed with her beauty (those eyes and smile), intelligence, business acumen, compassion, class, and of course her writing prowess. I came across her professionally constructed website complete with a witty, informative and humorous blog dedicated to her life experiences and observations. As we began to correspond, we discovered our commonality at times outweighed our differences. We decided to collaborate, and I’d like to thank her for the opportunity. 

With her blessing, I will continue to share my New York City experiences and observations via her blog. 

New York, New York, the city so nice they named it twice. Famed actor, film producer and lifelong New York City resident, Robert Deniro once remarked in an interview, “some people say New York’s a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. I say that about other places.” 

Admittedly, at times, I’ve shared those sentiments. The city possess an excitement and uniqueness that’s all it’s own, but it has it’s shortcomings and challenges like anyplace else. The weird dichotomy that exists within it’s geographical limits and it’s residents, will have one loudly questioning the city’s humanity only to be quickly swayed in another direction when observing a random act of kindness performed by one of it’s citizens. 

I will have more to share in forthcoming blogs, and I look forward to eventually visiting Kansas City and meeting my new friend, Patty, properly.

Once again, a big thank you to her, and thank you the readers for reading. 

More to come …. Much obliged ….

Marty

2/27/24 Marty

Marty is a 45-year-old black man who lives in New York City and found me through my website. To say that we have become fast friends is quite the understatement. There is nothing I can’t talk to this man about. I’m sure the opposite is completely true also. He is simply amazing. He’s smart and hip and savvy as all can get out.

And I dare say, he’s a better writer than I am, and you are going to get the chance to find out! After he wrote the back cover of my book, I was so impressed by his writing ability that I asked him to write a blog about living in New York City. I just think it’s fascinating to meet other people and really get to know them when they live in such a dichotomous city as New York City. I feel like it couldn’t be any more different from Kansas City if it tried. There are so many things that we take for granted that New Yorkers cannot. But make no bones about it, New Yorkers love where they live!

I hope to have his blog up very soon, so you can see what a phenomenal writer he really is. I’m going to have him do my forward and my about me Pages for my book. Just having a 45-year-old black man from New York City as a friend is completely dope, as Marty would put it!

2/25/24 Wanting to Make More Content!

OK, maybe desperate is not the right word. But I definitely need more guys to make content with. My only fans is blowing up, but it’s only gonna blow up as long as I keep putting content out there. So if you’re 40 and under, and in fairly good shape, I would love to meet you and make content with you. No charge, just a lot of fun. You have to be registered on only fans and you have to be able to use Snapchat to transfer files. Please get in touch with me if you’re interested.

2/22/24 I Deserve This!

Alex did one very important thing for me. He showed me that not only do I want more than what I have now, but that I deserve more than what I have now, in terms of a relationship. Now granted it did not work out, but here was this guy who I got along with, had amazing chemistry with and he accepted what I did.

I want that again and I deserve that. I’ve lost 110 pounds, I look great, I feel great, and I want to share that and myself with some very well deserving man. Might not be Alex. But I know he’s out there.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the connections I have with some of my clients. I like when they text me and we talk during the week, sometimes daily. I cherish my friends, but most of them are married. I would just love to meet a really sweet, appropriate, good looking older man to date and hopefully fall in love with. Is that so much to ask for?

Let me be more specific. I want that connection with an available man. Not with someone who’s married and not with someone who has a lot of problems. So I guess I’m looking for someone who is drama free and wanting a relationship and available for a relationship. Someone who likes to go out and have fun and stay in and have fun! Someone who doesn’t mind spending money on having a taste of the finer things in life, even if it’s not an every day occurrence. I believe life is to be enjoyed. I would love to find a man who has a life of his own, but wants a woman to complement it.

Someone who is warm and caring, and really doesn’t mind what I do for a living. Now I realize that last part will be difficult to come by. I’m not stupid. I realize that accepting what I do will be difficult. But I’m sure there are men out there who can look past it. Especially when they find out how much money I make. So if you’re reading this blog and you’re saying to yourself, this could be me, I would really like to hear from you. Please don’t start by telling me that you’d like to marry me, because that’s really old hat by now!

2/13/24 Just a Thought

I’ve been publishing these psychological “hacks“ for a while now, because I find them fascinating. Maybe it’s because I have a background in something akin to psychology.But I want to add one more psychological factoid to the ones I’ve already published.

I believe when women like a man, they think about making love to them. But if a woman doesn’t like you, there’s no way in hell she is ever going to go there. And I think a lot of guys don’t get this. I think they think that if they just try harder, she will come around. Well I’m here to dispel this myth about men who try harder. There’s a reason you’re trying harder. She doesn’t like you and she doesn’t want to be with you. And a woman usually knows if they like someone the first time they meet them. They might not know it from texting or even talking on the phone, but once they meet you in person, they get a feeling. They either like you or they don’t.

After that first meeting, there isn’t much you can do about it. So, if you’re gonna try harder, try harder the first time you meet her. Show up nicely dressed, bathed and smelling nice. Definitely bring her a little something. A great card, a small bouquet of flowers, some candies, a book that you thought she would like. If you can tie it to something that the two of you have talked about, all the better. You get the idea.

And please, please, do not talk about yourself the entire time you are with her, because nothing will turn her off more than that. Well, maybe you popping out your fake eyeball would be worse (and yes, this has happened to me!). It should be give-and-take. If you talk about yourself, then you ask her “what about you…”. The whole meal or venue or walk around a lake should be about give and take. This is the time to be impressing her. Not after she decides that you’re a rude SOB, who likes to impress women with how much he has, who chews with his mouth open, and really has nothing to show for himself! Trust me when I say they are a dime a dozen.

Think about it this way. My mother always says to me that men are like street cars, they come around every 10 minutes. To put it in today’s terminology, there are a lot like Uber drivers. So think about that the next time you have the opportunity to connect with someone on a deeper basis than you usually do. I probably don’t speak for every woman out there, but I think most would say I’m spot on. And, I would love to hear from a reader of mine, who is a woman, to tell me what she thinks. So, enjoy your Hallmark holiday tomorrow and don’t forget the roses. I was lucky enough to get mine today!

2/12/24 What are some psychology facts about love?

1. If you’re close to anyone, when you read their texts, you can hear their voice in your head.

2. Sweet nothings work better whispered in the left ear.

3. When you’re attracted to someone, you’re more likely to be drawn to how they smell.

4. The more you care about someone, the worse you perform in front of them.

5. During courtship, set the bar appropriately and the other person will love you more.

6. Women tend to feel loved when talking face-to-face with their partners. Whereas men feel emotionally close when they play or talk side-by-side.

7. Asking for someone’s opinion can make them like you more.

8. When someone truly loves you, they tend to hug you for at least 5 seconds or more.

9. The more you ignore the one you like, the more you will fall for them.

10. A woman is more attracted to a man when she is uncertain about how much he likes her.

11. When someone tries to impress you, it shows they already like you.

12. People generally prefer an attractive face over an attractive body when they are looking for a long term relationship.

13. We mimic the actions of people we’re attracted to.

14. People choose partners whose chemical makeup complements their own. So someone with high levels of estrogen is likely to fall for someone with high levels of testosterone.

15. A crush only lasts for a maximum of 4 months. If it exceeds, you’re already in love.

16. If obstacles are placed in the way of your relationship, your feelings of love intensify and you want each other all the more.

17. When you find out that someone likes you, a little part of you starts to like them back.

2/10/24 Dealbreakers (not in any particular order)

Bad teeth, no smile

Grossly overweight

Downright ugly

Young kids that they have halftime

Too many animals

Alcoholic/workaholic

Stupid or no education

Overly silly

Low paying job/bankruptcy

Moving too slow or too fast

Lives too far away

Doesn’t have the same interests as me

Ultra conservative

Too short or too tall

Is not tolerant of my job

Allergic to cats

No sense of humor

Cigarette Smoker

2/9/24 OMG Only Fans!

I am now placing ads in 25 metropolitan cities. My subscribers have tripled in the last month. My revenue stream has gone up tenfold since November. I’m looking at making $2000 this month passive income. I don’t think you can get much better than that, but I’m gonna try! I consider this my second job now. When I’m not busy with a client I am placing ads every 15 minutes. That’s the time that you have to wait between ads on list crawler. So I set my timer and I’m on top of it. Why I didn’t think of this two years ago is beyond me, but I’m glad I finally did.

2/8/24 The Truth About a Woman

Just because you get thousands of likes on your profile picture will not keep a woman.

Being honest about things in your past will not keep a woman.

Being faithful and loyal since day one doesn’t keep a woman.

Treating a woman better than she’s ever been treated before doesn’t keep a woman.

Making an effort every single day to make sure she knows you truly care will not keep a woman.

Giving her all of your time that you can spare, doesn’t keep a woman.

You could have the best intentions in the world and could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be the most perfect man in existence and you still wouldn’t be able to keep a woman.

The only way to keep a woman is if that woman wants to be kept by you.

With a woman, you can tell she wants to be kept when the relationship gets very hard and she does everything to fight for you.

A woman only fights for a man she wants to belong to, so if she isn’t fighting for you when things get hard, then that means she doesn’t want to be kept by you anymore.

The truth im trying to make is, Don’t hold on to a woman who doesn’t want to be kept by you.

You’re not giving up on her. It’s quite the opposite.

It’s her who gave up on you, and it’s you who shouldn’t waste any more of your time than you already have.

Know when it’s time to let go, know when it’s time to walk away, and know when it’s time for her to be unkept.

2/8/24 Alex

Well, you might have noticed if you read my blogs regularly that I took all the blogs down about Alex. I did this because I didn’t want to put out that energy to the universe and I felt that they were depressing blogs that I didn’t really want anybody else reading. I have since found out that he does not want a relationship or a friendship with me. He has shown me this through his actions. And actions speak louder than words. so we are not talking, and I doubt we ever will again. I basically got bamboozled by this guy and I learned a lot about how to approach a relationship. I will not make the same mistakes I made with him. Of course, he omitted to tell me that he had a drinking problem, and quite honestly, I don’t think there’s much you can do about a recovering alcoholic especially when they’re not even 30 days sober. I know I’m much better off for leaving this relationship. 

2/8/24 Update on my gastric bypass

I was going to entitle this blog, I Sag! But I didn’t want people to not read it! As a result of losing 110 pounds, can I just say that I look great in clothes, I am way more healthy and will probably live longer and I feel better. But, the part about looking better naked is suspect. I do sag. My boobs have lost a cup and I feel like they’re down to my bellybutton. Of course they aren’t but you know what I mean. My stomach is smaller, but it still sags. My arms sag, my thighs sag, my butt sags, even my pussy sags!I thought about having a tummy tuck done in Mexico. A client told me that he had a gastric bypass there and it went really well and they were a very professional outfit in Cancun. That would make me a lot happier and somewhat poorer. Not sure if that’s a word. At any rate, I am who I am. My body is what it is. And when I ask clients, who have known me since I was fat, whether I look better fat or skinny, they always say skinny. Or they say they like me at both weights. Which is actually very nice to hear.

2/8/24 You Can’t Force Intimacy

Even with an escort! I was with a man last night, who was very sweet, very generous, and very married. But what creeped me out about him was that he treated me like he’d known me six months and we had been dating that long. He had no boundaries around what might be appropriate with me on our first date. He wanted me to treat him like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, that was his fantasy, not mine. I suppose I have walls and boundaries set up so that I don’t feel creeped out, and most men do not do this to me. I usually have to do a little coaxing with them, but they never want to just give give give. That was what was up with this guy. I think when we were texting, I started to get the feeling of it being too soon and too much. Kind of like my last relationship. But this guy was married and it wasn’t gonna go anywhere. I certainly was not going to get into a relationship with a married man, I’ve done that and I will not go back. Horrible, horrible experience. So, in the end, I made him leave early. It wasn’t just that he creeped me out, it was more that I was exhausted, and having trouble keeping my eyes open. But even if I wasn’t exhausted, I would’ve let him leave. He gladly took the money that I offered him. I think what I’m going to take from this is to recognize through texts where a person is coming from. If I’m kind of creeped out in their texts, I’m going to be creeped out by them. It doesn’t happen often, but last night was a very good example.

2/8/24 Relationship Truths

1. If love was enough, every relationship would have a 100% success rate.

2. Bad relationships change good people.

3. Toxic is when they can’t let you go, but they can’t treat you right either.

4. Authentic love may be unconditional but it does not mean unconditional tolerance.

5. You can take your power back by letting people go.

6. The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.

7. Sometimes rejection is redirection towards something better.

8. Healthy relationships include uncomfortable conversations.

9. Loyalty behind your back is really top tier.

10. Kindness is not flirting.

• Attention is not love.

• Silence is not anger

2/8/24 Hawaii Man is Back!

Well, it’s kind of a funny story. I blocked Hawaii after we “broke up“ and then later I decided to unblock him. Well, he tried to get in touch with me when I had blocked him and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t contacting him back. And then, one day after I unblocked him, he sent me a text. And that was all she wrote. I mean we’re not back to where we were, but he did send me the most gorgeous decorated egg, and I love these. He had also sent me a gorgeous robe from the Wynn hotel. And he has been very generous with me in the past. We have talked about me going to Hawaii for another work vacation, but I’m not sure I wanna fly that far. We had also talked about us going to Las Vegas and staying at the Wynn hotel. I don’t know if any of this will happen but I’m glad that we’re back talking. I had missed him. He missed me too. I think it just goes to show that when you’ve known somebody two years and you care for them, silly, stupid arguments can be forgiven and forgotten.

2/7/24  71 Going On 61

You might have this preconceived notion that 71-year-olds are old people and look like old people, you would be sorely mistaken with this client that I had the other day. We laughed almost the entire time we were together. I was in rare form. Everything I said was funny. Like I said, rare form. But I digress. This man told me upfront that he was 61, but when I met him I asked him how old he was and he said he was really 71. I gasped! “no fucking way“ is exactly what I said. And I would say it again. He had very few wrinkles. He had some non-distinct lines on his forehead as we all do over 60 or even over 50. He was in shape like you wouldn’t believe, and very good looking with a mop of grayish brown hair. And he didn’t act 71 at all. The reason that he came to see me was that he was with a woman who didn’t know how to have sex and really didn’t want to have sex. She didn’t even want to touch or kiss him. But he liked her in every other way. So I told him to stay with her and come see me every other week! I think that’s a perfect arrangement!!

2/7/24 My Apologies to My Readership

It has come to my attention that when I post a blog, my readers get two emails instead of just one. I want to apologize for this, and I will look into it. In the meantime, just delete one! And just be happy that I’m blogging a lot again!

2/7/24 He Also Thought He Could

I had a client a couple weeks ago, who was adamant that, even at his age of 60, he could perform twice in an hour. I called his bluff. And I knew from experience that whatever time the first go around takes, his second go-round was going to be twice as long. And it was. And he did give up. And I wanted to say “I told you so“ but that would’ve been rude. I just smiled and kept my mouth shut like a good little companion! Such a silly man. And who knows if he was even 60.

2/6/24 More About Only Fans

I was looking up information on how much I should charge for my subscription, and I ran across this OnlyFans Price List Example:

Content type	Price
Subscription	$4 – $50
PPV  – Image	$2 – $5
PPV  – Video	$10 – $15
Custom Image	$5 – $40
Custom Video	$8 per minute
Paid Messages	$1 per message
Feet Pic	$5 – $7
Sexting	$2 – $3 a minute

Well, what I figured by looking at it, is that I’m right where I need to be and there is so much money to be made on this platform. Before I started sending list crawler ads to every major metropolitan city in the US, I was making about $200 a month. In the last 30 days I’ve made over $1000  and I don’t think there’s any stopping me. In addition to that the more subscribers I have, the more renewals I will have. Plus I’m getting serious about putting out more content. It used to be that I would do videos every six months and now I’m thinking of doing them every month.  Maybe even more. Gotta love that passive income!

2/5/24 A Word About Taylor and Travis Baby

Yeah. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been waiting for me to write a blog about Taylor and Travis. My mother who is 93 calls Travis Kelce Travis Baby and Taylor Swift is Taylor Honey. As you well know, I have an opinion about most anything! And this subject is no different.

I want to address the issue of whether these two will actually make it or not. I lean towards thinking that they will. And these are the reasons why.

First off, they are both stars in their own right. Now, Taylor is a bigger star, but Travis is just as much a star in football as she is in Pop rock. and besides that, they are both very good at what they do. Which is, of course, why they are stars. There is nothing mediocre about either one of them. And they are wealthy beyond their needs and probably the needs of many many families. And I kind of like Taylor being with a professional athlete over some actor or musician that’s probably going to be mentally unstable! Travis comes across to me as someone who is very stable and very protective of her. I like that in a man. And I’ll bet she does too!

Second, they are both 34 years old. Travis is probably getting ready to retire in the next few years. And although Taylor is going very strong in her career, if she has any kind of biological clock whatsoever, it’s a-ticking! And she has talked in the past about wanting kids and wanting a marriage. She knows she’s not getting any younger. She also knows that she has made the rounds in dating in Hollywood and that didn’t go so well. See my note above on mental stability.

I’m rooting for these two and I’m sure my mother would too! I think they make a cute couple. I think she’s been great for the Chiefs. Even if it does get a little nauseating at times. I’ll bet more 87 jerseys have sold this year than ever before! I hope they keep going strong, and I hope we hear of an engagement ring. It will be a humdinger!

2/2/24 The 40-year-old Who Couldn’t

I am always amazed by men who are above 30, who think they can have MSOG twice in a half hour!I’ve maybe encountered 2 to 3 of these guys who were able to in eight years of doing this.Most cannot. The last guy was no exception. I always say, before we start, if your first one is fast, we may be able to get a second one in. But if your first is not fast, good luck!I think he was really upset that it didn’t work like he thought it would. I tried to remind him that he was 40 and not 30. I think he knew after the first pop that he was not going to get erect again and he was definitely disappointed. But I didn’t set up that disappointment, he did. He obviously doesn’t know himself well enough to know that that’s not gonna happen. Of course, a lot of young guys don’t have the experience of MSOG so they don’t know that they can’t do two pops in a half hour. Now, this guy does.

2/2/24 Advice on Being Safe

• The only cop that will ever bust you is an undercover police person, and they will never tell you if they are a cop or not. So there’s no reason to ask a provider if they are a cop.

• Never talk about sex on text. You can talk about money. But you cannot talk about sex and money.

• If you want to verify if a provider is a cop or not, ask her to show you her boob or kiss you, because no female cop will do that.

• If a provider asks you what you like to do sexually, this could be a way of getting you to talk about sex. Do not go there, whether over a text or in person.

• Your best bet is to see a provider at either a house, or an apartment as the police do not use these to do stings.

2/2/24 Ten Truths about Life

1. You are not going to exist forever. You’re just a tiny speck in this vast universe and your time in this world is limited.

2. Anything harsh said to a loved one in anger leaves a permanent scar, no matter how much you try to bandage it.

3. Health is the most important wealth you can acquire. No matter how much gold you own, it can not quell the torture of an illness.

4. Every old person was once as old as you are today. Time stops for none.

5. Things which are most important for you today might be worthless tomorrow. Avoid spending money on urges.

6. Something as simple as saying sorry first can prevent countless disputes. It is not a sign of weakness.

7. Many times, who your friends are determines who you become.

8. To become good at conversation, learn to be a good listener first.

9. Luck favours those who don’t give up.

10. Be grateful if you have a roof for shelter, clean water for drinking , food on your table and a healthy functioning body. Try to imagine the absence of even one of these in your life.

2/1/24 Sometimes I Simply Amaze Myself!