Blogs 22/23

1/1/22  No More VIP

When I saw how few men asked for my new password for my VIP page that I realized it was past it’s prime.  If you can tell me the old or new password, send me your email, I will give you a free subscription to my OnlyFans page.    The content is exactly the same as my VIP page had.

1/7/22 Resolutions for the new year

As if I’ll keep them

  • Lose Weight and keep it off.

  • Make more friends.

  • Have a good year Financially.

  • Take a Vacation

1/7/22 $2500 for a lawyer in Johnson County

You heard me right.  If you have to hire an attorney for a solicitation charge you’re looking at $2500.  And that does not include court or fines.  Up north, it’s half that.  And all for what will most likely be a simple diversion.  That’s what my friend is going to get.  Diversion is where they say ” don’t do anything bad for a year and we’ll dismiss the case”.  Four years after your diversion is over, you can get it expunged.

1/23/22 Feeling Much Better, Thank you!

I am happy to say that I’m out of my depression.  I think part of why that is, is because I found out that my “good friend” did not die, he just simply ghosted me.  I’m simply amazed that someone I’ve known for over 2 years would do this, but given my experiences with men in KC, I really should not be shocked.  After all, I’ve been ghosted by 3-4 other guys.  My experience being in KC has not been all that great besides good business.  But I do want to so thank all the people who contacted me to see if I was ok.  Some of this depression was obviously grief for someone who did not die.  With that grief gone, anger and shock replaced it.  But at least, it’s not depression.  I think I’m going to get a counselor.  I think that would be a really good idea for me.

1/23/22 Burglarized…Again

I was burglarized in 2019 by a methhead that I tried to help in a Social Work way.  I thought I had learned my lesson and changed things around.  I know exactly who did it.  He came over a lot and knew a lot.  Thankfully the night before I had taken most of my cash to my Ex the night before.  From now on, if you can pay me with Cash App, Venmo or Paypal, that would be preferable.  I think a lot of providers are getting burglarized because more and more are asking for the same thing.  I will still accept cash and it will go into a safety deposit box daily.  I’m also going to put video cameras in my house.  And yes, I did call the police, told him what I do (which he did not judge!) and he said he would investigate the perpetrator.

1/25/22 VIP is Back Up!

I’m missing some vids (and I’ll find them), but other than that, the VIP page is good to go!

2/10/22 Blepharospasm

If you’ve never heard of this medical condition, you’re not alone!  But when I came down with it, I sure started Googling.  Turns out that your brain controls your eyelids and this condition makes your eyes blink and twitch…uncontrollably!  I couldn’t drive and I would blink while talking to others.  The cure?  BOTOX!  Seems that Botulism freezes the muscles so 4 shots and wait 2 weeks for the full effect.  After 5 days I drove 30 minutes with barely a blink!  So now I get shots every 3-6 months.  Oh joy!

2/28/22 I’m Feeling Much Better Thank You!

I’m feeling much better from, what I am calling, my Funky February.  I say this because I was in a funk for most of February.  And looking at the rest of the world, most have also been in a funk.  The only very good thing I can say is that Covid-19 decided to back off enough not to have to wear masks!  Very good thing indeed!  I feel for Ukraine and volunteer the Proud Boys and other militias to g0 there and fight!  What a leader they have!  and Jewish to boot!

3/3/22 T I A

I think I had a TIA last night.  It stands for Transient Ischemic Attack and it’s kind of like a light stroke.  I could not talk coherently at all for about 30 minutes.   I could put words together but they meant nothing! I called 911 even though I could not really talk.  I did get my address out and that’s when I realized that I was slowly getting better.  By the time that the firemen got there (before the EMTs), I was getting more coherent by the minute.  The EMTs told me I did not have a stroke but I might want to call my doctor.  I called mu mom and she thought they might want to do a Cat scan or put me on a blood thinner.  I have never experienced anything like this and I hope it’s not a precursor to a stroke!

3/9/22 I miss what you miss

Even though I’m surrounded by “intimacy”, I still miss being touched, being held, and getting fireworks from that certain someone.  And I realize that I am not anyone’s special one but just a kind substitute for the real thing.  Maybe not too bad of a substitute!  I miss that person that will agree with me about the state of the world.  Will go out in the morning and get me an Egg sandwich.  Heck, I miss someone just being in my house with me.  I’m not that picky (which is part of my problem).  I will occasionally ask a client what they miss and they tend to look at me as if I’m crazy, but when I explain myself further, they get it.

4/1/22 Zelenskyy

Volodymir Zelenskyy will be the man of the year on Time magazine. I have no doubt in my mind that he deserves it and that he will achieve it. Who else is there? Certainly not Will Smith! When the war first started I would cry every day because I thought that Zelenskyy would be killed. I no longer think that. I also believe that Ukraine will win this war. The Russians are showing what happens when you don’t tell your troops what they’re doing. The Russians are showing that they are not the greatest military in the world. I wish the European Union would come to the aid of Ukraine and decimate Russia. Putin needs to be assassinated that’s all there is to it. He’s a Hitler, Stalin and a really evil person all the way around. How he thought he could take 150,000 troops into a country of 44 million people and beat a country with people who are sturdy and unrelenting. Not only that but they are proving themselves to be militarily superior. This war is all about one person and that person needs to be taken out. Every time Zelenskyy talks I’m simply amazed at his bravery, military skill, and the fact that he will not leave the country even if he is killed there. Russia has no defense for what they’re doing. And I think the world needs to take heed. I don’t want to go to war with Russia because they are going to shoot off nuclear missiles, but we have plenty of them too. I think if NATO went against Russia, the Kremlin would be decimated in weeks. I ask myself how did I get so lucky to be born in the United States. I think about what my neighborhood would look like if this were Ukraine. I didn’t used to believe this but there are evil people in this world and Putin is on the top of the list. Zelenskyy is Man of the Year.  And if you wonder why I put 2 y’s at the end of his name, google him.

4/7/22 No More Venmo

I saw a young man the other day who paid with Venmo.  Ten minutes after he left he told Venmo he never made the charge.  Venmo never asked me about it and simply gave him his money back and froze my account until I paid the money back.  Thankfully, I deposited the funds into my acc0unt immediately and they can’t take them out of my account.  To say the least, I am not going to be using Venmo anymore.

4/8/22 Menopause

I saw a man whose wife had a hysterectomy at the age of 35 and continued to have sex until the age of 40. Now that might not make you think anything is out of the ordinary but for a woman who has been through a hysterectomy, to have sex she better be on estrogen, the female hormone, or medication that helps get her wet or testosterone cream on her clit.  Even so she had to be uncomfortable. I find that a lot of men don’t understand that when women go through menopause, which happens in two weeks after you have a hysterectomy, they lose all libido. Now not all women lose complete libido. I think about 10% of us keep it.  But women can’t help the fact that the idea of having sex makes them sick and that actually having sex hurts tremendously. I bet if you knew that you wouldn’t be as gung ho to have sex with your wife. If she has sex with you once a month you can pretty much bank on it being duty sex.  She’s doing her duty. Is that what you want? For your wife to have sex with you because she feels it’s her duty? OK you know where I’m going with this so I’m just gonna go there. Get an escort, get a regular so you don’t have to worry about being busted. Find somebody that you click with and stay there. I’m not saying to get emotionally involved, I would never tell you that. In fact keep it as businesslike as you can. Your wife has her reasons, you have your reasons and the escort has her reasons. And if all three reasons come together it can be a good life. The most important part of this blog is this right here. Keep it safe.

4/12/22 What’s Up?

A man texted me “What’s Up?”.  Totally innocuous, right?

I texted him back “The sky, gas prices and inflation!” .  He got a kick out of it!

4/21/22 An Interesting Conversation

Can’t say which is better, young 18+ hard body’s or mature milf with curves and experience.. mmm that also rims and pegs, and panty teases..

The thing about the 18-year-old hard body is that that’s all you’re going to get. No kissing no touching, no going down on her and you better like condoms because she uses them for blowjobs and once she’s gotten you to come you’re out of there. Doesn’t matter that you paid for an hour and got 10 minutes. Tough decision there!

Oh and did I mention the meth pipe that she’ll be hiding waiting to get back to you after you leave? Or the boyfriend/pimp in the closet who robs you?

4/22/22 Menopause Revisited

I saw a man whose wife had a hysterectomy at the age of 35 and continued to have sex until the age of 40. Now that might not make you think anything is out of the ordinary but for a woman who has been through a hysterectomy, to have sex she better be on estrogen, the female hormone, or medication that helps get her wet or testosterone cream on her clit. Even so she had to be uncomfortable. I find that a lot too of men don’t understand that when women go through menopause, which happens in two weeks after you have a hysterectomy, they lose all libido. Now not all women lose complete libido. I think about 10% of us keep it. But women can’t help the fact that the idea of having sex makes them sick and that actually having sex hurts tremendously. I bet if you knew that you wouldn’t be as gung ho to have sex with your wife. If she has sex with you once a month you can pretty much bake on it being duty sex. She’s doing her duty. Is that what you want? For your wife to have sex with you because she feels it’s her duty? OK you know where I’m going with this so I’m just gonna go there. Get an escort, get a regular so you don’t have to worry about being busted. Find somebody that you click with and stay there. I’m not saying to get emotionally involved, I would never tell you that. In fact keep it as businesslike as you can. Your wife has her reasons, you have your reasons and the escort has her reasons. And if all three reasons come together it can be a good life. The most important part of this blog is this right here. Keep it safe.

5/7/22 Wish Me Luck

Every time I see my mother, she tells me how much money she has sitting around.  Well, now I have something she can do with it.  Since my losing weight is so all important to her, I’m going to ask her to pay for it!  $9500 for a gastric sleeves.  And that’s all inclusive.  I’ll keep you up to date on this.  I’m going to see her on the 20th and will ask her then.

5/18/22 My Birthday and St. Louis

Well it’s that time again.  Time to celebrate having lived through another year, especially with the year we’ve had!  My Birthday is tomorrow so I guess now I’ll be 55!  I’m going to St. Louis on Friday and I’m working there the 22nd through the 24th.

6/8/22 Escorts and Mental Illness

I don’t know what it is that attracts guys with mental illness to Providers but it happens all the time. I actually met two today. The first one didn’t say he was mentally ill but he had all the hallmarks of mental illness.  The second one was equally mentally ill but living in his SUV with his dog. He wanted me to go out to see his dog and I refused because I thought he would shove me into the car and kidnap me. I used intimidation to get him out of my house. He was here for an hour and left me $38. Sometime I’ll write about how I know that someone is mentally ill.

6/7/22 My Monday in Wichita 

My Monday in Wichita looked really good.  I had nine appointments set up. The first one got me up early it was an 830 appointment and lo and behold I forgot to ask for a donation and I didn’t get one. Now that should take me back six years to when I was stupid and forgot to ask for donations upfront but I really thought I had learned my lesson. Sometimes I guess we have to learn it a few times.

The second guy was a regular and I knew he would show up but he was supposed to come on Tuesday not Monday which kind of discombobulated me. He said he was going to come on Tuesday also but then he canceled. Add to that two cancellations and two no-shows and I’m pretty much livid. The final appointment was supposed to be a three hour appointment. He took me to dinner which was just OK and then when we got back to my hotel he hands me $100 bill and says I had a nice time. If I had been thinking, I would have said to him you booked me for three hours and you owe me for three hours. And I would not have gotten out of his car until he gave me The amount he owed me. Such bad behavior. And this is the guy who had a gastric bypass, lost 140 pounds and says he gained back 70 although I think he’s gained back more.   And you know how he gained all that weight back? He drinks a pint of vodka and two beers every single night. I told him he was a functional alcoholic and he did not disagree. I tell you I meet the most interesting people wherever I go.. Secretly, I was glad to not have to be intimate with this person. That’s how much he turned me off. I really really do not like alcoholics. So there you have it. Or a trip gone bad, not the first as I’m sure you know if you’ve read my blogs. But I’m not giving up! Not yet at least! I’m going to Omaha July 10 through the 12th. I put out an ad today by mistake and I started getting phone calls. I really hope Omaha works out.

6/9/22 Amy Taylor

It isn’t often that I write about other Providers, but I couldn’t resist.  She is the first bombshell 45-year-old woman I have seen in a long time.  And she’s only $2000 per half hour!  That’s $4000 an hour.  She better be on someone’s bucket list for them to shell out that much.  She is counting on a multi-millionaire who has money to burn.  And of course she has no hometown because she is constantly traveling.  I just think to myself “what a life!”.  And is any woman worth $2000 for 30 minutes?

6/21/22 1st Visit with my Surgeon

It couldn’t have gone better.  They did an EEG which was fine and I asked the surgeon 20 questions and got excellent answers.  The next step is meeting with the psychologist and dietician.  I will most likely have this done in mid August and be off work for 2 weeks.

6/21/22 The decision to get a gastric bypass

At one time in my life until I was 30, I weighed 120 pounds, was a size 6 and enjoyed good fitness by mostly playing outside. When I turned 30 I was put on 200 mg of Zoloft which if you know anything about Zoloft you know that it makes you gain weight.  It also helps a lot if you’re a depressive like I was. When they put me on this much Zoloft I ballooned 60 pounds in a matter of months. I couldn’t get enough sweet stuff and I never had to diet so I didn’t and now you get to see the results. And of course I’ve gained more weight over the years. That’s kind of typical.  But I want to be thin again. I don’t expect to be 120 pounds but it would be nice to lose 100 pounds and be in my 130s.The doctor says I’ll lose 80 to 90 pounds which I would be happy with but I’m gonna try for 100. I already have ideas of what I’m gonna eat when I’m able to eat. I’m also trying out protein shakes so if you know of a good one let me know. I’m so looking forward to losing weight, getting healthy And an eventual tummy tuck!

7/8/22 More on my Gastric Bypass

I’m having it done on August 22, so don’t expect to see me until middle of September.  I’m nervous and excited, which, to me, makes sense.  I want to lose 100 pounds and I think I can accomplish this.  But I also worry that I won’t be able to do it.  That I’ll want to cheat.  And then, my therapist reminds me that I’m not going to want to eat, that I’m not going to be hungry.  And having done Keto twice, I know how food becomes more about sustenance and less about cravings. And I plan to start working out and that will help with staying on track. 

7/16/22 Omaha Day 1

All I can say is how rude. I had six appointments set and four no showed and two canceled.  I always say what goes around comes around but I’m starting to wonder because lately what’s coming around me is pretty shitty. And I’m getting tired of it. If tomorrow is not a really great day here, I’m probably not gonna come back.. Some of them I’m pretty sure made the appointment with me and no showed on purpose. One guy told me that I had canceled on him a time before because my son had been in an accident. And up until he did not show up we were talking the whole time. So he did this on purpose.  I don’t need to drive 2 1/2 hours spend $250 on a hotel and God knows how much on gas only to see two people in one day half hour appointments. Does anybody see a pattern here?

7/16/22 Omaha 2nd day

Pretty much the same as the first day. I experienced something for about the first time. I asked a man to wear a condom and he didn’t. I think back to the encounter and I should have done more. He had just had sex a week before with an escort and that’s the last thing I want to hear. He was an older gentleman but I could tell that he frequented escorts a lot. I’m going to see my doctor on Thursday of this week and have a complete panel done to make sure I’m clean. Other than that, it’s been the same old same old. People don’t show up, People cancel at the last minute and are basically rude. But then I think, they don’t even know me and I don’t know them and that’s probably why traveling doesn’t work for me. It feels rushed, as you all know I like to get to know people and I’m not able to do that here. Not only am I not coming back to Omaha but I am seriously considering not traveling whatsoever. At this time it’s not worth the gas, it’s not worth the hotel room and the meals. And most of all the frustration.

8/10/22 No Blogs

I know you might think that I must be depressed because I’m not writing as much, but the real truth is that I just haven’t had anything to say.  And I’m not going to make things up just to have something to blog!  Now for my 1st really good blog in some time.

8/10/22 Getting My Haircut!

OMG!  I went to Great Clips to get my hair cut and everything is going well.  Until….the store manager starts to lay in about Trump and conspiracy theories and Hunter Biden…You get my drift?  Twenty minutes of non-stop Trumpster.  She had no idea who she was talking to.  And I’m not going to go more into what she said because I know I have diehard Republicans and diehard Democrats who read my blogs.  WHICH IS EXACTLY MY POINT!  If you don’t know who you’re talking to, don’t talk about politics or religion.  

As soon as I got home, I called Great Clips National and they said they would have the owner of the store call me.  Well the general manager (I’m thinking of many stores) got back with me and apologized up and down the block.  She would be talking with this “manager” to make sure she knows that this behavior is not acceptable.  I’m sitting there listening to this lady spew and all I can think is OMG!

8/10/22 St. Louis

I went to St. Louis on the premise that I would be doing a bookkeeping audit on Sunday through Tuesday.  That way I would be able to see my Mom and sisters.  I met a guy who wanted to take me out, so we went to a Mexican restaurant and it became apparent that really what he wanted was a free session. My Sunday was good, Monday even better and Tuesday eh.  I plan to go there every other month.

8/10/22 NEW POLICY

I am no longer doing anything full service without protection. Better to be safe than sorry!

8/25/22 Gastric Bypass #1

I survived and that’s pretty much all I can say. In the first place I slept two days after surgery. Just say the very least that has never happened to me. Makes me think that the anesthesiologist did not know what he was doing. Then they wouldn’t give me the pain medication I have asked for because the anesthesia went so bad. I’m not sure I’ve experienced this level of pain and nausea ever. OK maybe when I had kids but certainly not since then. And of course I couldn’t take the pain medication because it made me sick. Today is day three and I’m feeling better. I actually get to start eating very light things. And can I just say that you will never take a sip of anything because if you don’t take a sip you are sick to your stomach. The good part is that I can have almost anything just very small portions. And did I mention that I started at 240 and today I was 228. that will be my joy.

8/31/22 Gastric Bypass #2

Sometimes I think if I could take this all back I would. But I know that’s not an option and I know that this too shall pass. I think the worst of it is nausea and having so many so few choices but I’m only in week two. I think that if I get through week eight I’ll have a lot more choices and I’ll start to feeling better. But don’t let me fool you into thinking this is easy. I had major surgery and it’s very difficult and I dare say I am a bitch. Probably good thing that you aren’t seeing me right now. I don’t think I would be much company. OK now the stats. I started at 240 and I’m at 223.5. if I didn’t have that to go on I’d be pretty pissed by now. I’m looking at coming back to work in one week if my stomach it.

9/8/22 Gastric Bypass #3

I don’t know quite how to say this but I think a lot of you know that I am bipolar and what happened was that I kind of went into a Lithium Toxicity which landed me in the hospital.  KC Bariatrics should have prepared me for this.   Sometime I’ll delineate why you should not go to KC Bariatrics or NKCH.

7 days later, the Hospitalist prescribes me a new medication that just happens to cost $1500 per month.  Not only did he not get pre-authorization through my insurance, but he did no research about the cost of this med.  And then, because he works for the Hospital, once you are discharged, he can no longer talk to you.  So here, I am.  No meds besides the ones I had and no provider. Un-fucking believable.

9/15/22 Gastric Bypass #4

It’s only been 3 weeks and I’m still nauseated most of the time.  I’ve lost 13 pounds and I think I look worse.  Maybe I’ll feel better in 4 months!  I’m back to working and doing well with that.  If I had known a bunch of different information, would I still have done this?  Too late for regrets!

9/25/22 Negativity

A devoted client who reads all of my blogs told me that lately my blogs have been negative.  I realize this and sometimes life throws you a curve ball and other times you get a windfall.  Right now, things seem pretty bleak.  I spent 8 days in the hospital and 22 out of the last 30 days in bed.  Or with my sisters.  So I have not been working like usual.  I’m also off my psych meds and that impacts how I feel tremendously.  You know me, the cat that lands on her feet every and I will again!

9/25/22 I NEED YOUR SUPPORT

I never thought I would put this out there, but I  truly do not know how I’m going to pay my rent this month.  I don’t live in a high rent district but I’m not in a motel either. And I think you appreciate where I live.  My rent is about $1000.   This is 10 visits.  You would think that would be no big deal, but lately work is very slow.  I was going to do Lyft to supplement, but if you’ve read my blogs, you know that driving right now is very difficult for me and I’m putting my Lyft clients at risk.  Not good.  If you’ve been thinking of seeing me, please do.  I’ve lost over 20 pounds so far and it shows.  I’d like you to see it!

9/30/22 OMG I Almost threw up!

OK part of this was my fault because I had just eaten before he got here but he weighs well over 400 pounds and let me just say that when you do things the regular way his stomach was on my bypass and the results got put in the toilet. I have to block him and delete him because he can’t come any other way and I can’t do that with him. Come to think of it I can’t do that with anybody who’s well overweight. Just one more reason that I’m so happy with my gastric bypass. At least work has picked up.

10/13/22  Gastric Bypass #6: The good the bad and the ugly of gastric bypass

Of course, the best part of gastric bypass is losing weight. This is also the main reason for having a gastric bypass along with diminishing problems with comorbidity issues such as diabetes and high blood pressure.  The fact that the weight loss is fairly quick also makes a gastric bypass look pretty good.

But, people don’t talk about the downside of having gastric bypass. Probably most bothersome is the fact that you will never eat more than four or five bites of food at any one sitting. Also is the fact that you can’t drink water 30 minutes before and 30 minutes after a meal including the meal.  This makes it near impossible to get 64 ounces of water in each day. And then you put on top of that the fact that you can only sip the water, you cannot drink it normally makes it even more difficult. I’ll be honest. Besides my coffee in the morning I may get 16 to 32 ounces of water in me a day yet I do not feel dehydrated in the least. Did I mention the fact that you can only eat 4 to 5 bites at a time? And you should chew your food 30 times before swallowing? Well what I didn’t mention is that if you eat one more bite then you should, you will be nauseated and you may very well throw up. Interestingly enough, when you do throw up nothing much comes up except a lot of gastric juices. Speaking of gastric juices, I no longer have reflux and I no longer take my Prilosec. Along with that medication I’m hoping to get rid of my high blood pressure medication, my NSAID for my knees and knee pain in and of itself. One of two things will happen to my knees once I lose all the weight I can.  Either the weight loss will take so much pressure off of them that they won’t hurt anymore or I’ll be able to have a knee replacement because I’m at a weight where they will perform the surgery.

I had my gastric bypass done at KC bariatrics and I would not recommend them to anybody. They are a facility that does more of these procedures than any other facility in the United States and it feels like an assembly line. I got very little support either before or after the surgery and had to look for my own dietitian because theirs was inept to say the least.  On top of that, I could not get physical therapy through them because I was a self-pay and not a pay through insurance. People with insurance can get physical therapy but if you pay $16,000 you can’t get physical therapy. This is all about money because physical therapy will be covered by insurance so they don’t have to pay for it. I think just the fact that I shelled out $16,000 to have this done should qualify me for getting physical therapy. This is another service that I will be getting a referral for. KC bariatrics told me very little about how my life would change. About the things that I would have to do to lose weight and maintain the weight loss. They really dropped the ball though after the surgery. They knew all the medication I was on and yet never talked to me about my lithium which I almost died from because the level was four times higher than I needed and I went into toxemia. There are plenty of places to get a gastric bypass and I would not suggest KC bariatrics.

It hasn’t even been two months and I know that I’m bitching about what I’m going through but I wish that I had read more about the changes and complications that GB can cause. Ask me in two months if I’m happy that I have this. I don’t think my attitude will change much but maybe I’ll be a little bit more grateful and appreciative of the weight I’ve lost. In two more months you’ll really be able to see the new me and it will help a lot to hear from others how good I look. I’m not usually a very vain person but when you spend $16,000 to lose weight it helps to have people notice.

10/20/22 My Jackie’s Gone

I had to put Jackie, my beloved cat, down at 9:30 am this morning.  She had liver failure that could not have been helped and she was no longer drinking, eating or grooming herself.  I believe in Karma and I can see that it was her time to go.  Doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye, but at least she’s not in pain.  

10/20/22 Poundage

I’ve lost 30 pounds in the first 2 months.  And best of all, have not thrown up in a week!  I also have figured out that sausage and I do not like each other!

10/25/22 Antisemitism

I will tell you this, with the state of affairs as they are in this country, it wouldn’t surprise me if I stopped telling people that I was Jewish. I mean, you never know who you’re with, what they believe or what they’re carrying. Now really, do you think I really believe this?  Do you really think I think I’m gonna be hurt because I’m Jewish? No I don’t and maybe I am looking through rose-colored glasses but this is not 1939. it seems to me that nowadays, any minority group is fodder for radical right wing terrorists. Skinheads and neo-Nazis have been around for a long time. They’re just showing themselves more now that it Is OK to do so.  Jews have been persecuted since the beginning of time. There’s nothing new going on that hasn’t been done many many times before and yet we still thrive as a community and culture. I may be secular but I’m still a Jew and if I think that your knowing that I’m Jewish will help a situation or a story I will tell you. Otherwise, there’s really no reason to.

10/25/22 My paid vacation

When a 72-year-old man asked me to go in his luxury fifth wheel to Bull Shoals lake/White River, I jumped at the opportunity. Anybody who knows me, knows I have a love of RVs and I hope to own a Model C one day. I had never been in a camper before. Plus I would be remunerated nicely. But what I didn’t realize was that he was half deaf and half the time he would hear me and still say “what?”. It was a bad habit of his that drove me crazy. Very nice man, not the brightest I’ve ever met, but very successful at what he’s done and in better shape at 72 then I am at 55 (when will I stop lying about my age?).  The Forest River Riverstone Legacy was a beautiful and luxurious 42 foot fifth wheel and I was very happy that he invited me to go with him. I think the next time I do this I’ll get to know the person a little bit better though.

11/1/22 My Rates Revisited

I think I’m the cheapest escort in Kansas City and I think what bothers me the most is to think that people come to see me because of it. My last client balked at having to use a condom and yet let me know that he had used one with his last escort who was a $500 46-year-old ex porn star.  To say the least I was pissed. So much so that I showed him the door. And then I decided that I’m raising my rates. Granted I don’t have the balls to raise them too much as I have kept them low so I could see more people. But if guys are coming to me because I’m so low then I don’t wanna be known as an escort who is cheap.

11/16/22 Business Sucks!

Maybe the reason I have not blogged in 2 weeks is because I have nothing good to say and I hate to sound like a broken record.  I don’t think it’s because I raised my rates for newbies.  Maybe it’s the recession that we’re not really in.  Maybe the cold weather.  But for whatever reason, things have been really slow.  Of course, I really can’t complain because even in my slowest week this year, I still made more than most any ordinary job I could qualify for!  One good thing?  I no longer cry over spilled milk or people not calling.  It is what it is…

11/16/22 Catie

Well, I made the leap and got a new kitten who is not really a kitten but six months old and she and I are bonding very well together. Please note that this does not take away from my grief over Jackie and in fact, at times I feel more grief because I’ve chosen someone new. Catie is simply adorable!  And very chill. She didn’t cry at all when I took her home in the cat carrier and Jackie would’ve had a fit. I will not make the same mistake twice. This cat will be an indoor cat only and, when I leave town, I will have someone staying with her. I have come to accept the thought that Jackie got into something outside that made her sick. Maybe it was a mouse who had poison in it. I will never know, but I know now what I did wrong. I don’t blame myself because it was ignorance on my part. I think I thought she would live until 19, but I guess that was just not in the cards. If Catie is half the cat the Jackie was, I’ll be very happy. She really is a breath of fresh air.

12/31/22 New Years Resolutions

  1. To continue losing weight and get down to 100 pounds off.

  2. To continue making new friends.

  3. To hopefully meet someone to be in a relationship with.

  4. To work on getting another job so that I don’t have to rely on escorting as much.

  5. To start an exercise program.

1/3/23 Should I Be Concerned or Flattered?

Someone in St. Louis is using my pictures on a list crawler ad and they put like cute little sayings with them. Of course it’s a different phone number but I certainly don’t want anyone in St. Louis thinking this is me. I’ll be doing new pictures this week.

1/14/23 My Mother Updated

I have told you about my mother in posts along the way, but the news I have is not good. She has an aortic anyerism that has not burst, but is on its way to and she can have an operation but at 92, she’s thinking that this is a sure way out , a quick way out and on her own terms. I don’t feel ready to have her gone, but I will never feel ready to have her gone. That being said, my sisters didn’t even bother to tell me she was in the hospital.

Update: my mother is back at home and doing very well but she is still on oxygen and it will take her time to gain her strength back. I’m going to see her for her birthday in mid February and I told her she’d have to stay alive until then. I was going to go in to see her on the weekends, but she doesn’t want me to.

1/16/23 Alone Again Naturally

I, in recent weeks, have come to realize that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life. I think there are several reasons for this and the biggest reason is me. I don’t think I really want to be with someone full-time. I would be great for like a truck driver. If I thought truck drivers were any good at all , unfortunately I’ve had a few run-ins. I also think that I really enjoy my own company, way more so than most other people. I’m so set in my own ways that I don’t think I could give up how I do things. I’ve started seeing somebody but I can tell you 10 cons and may be 4 pros for this guy. Why do I continue to see him? I suppose because I get bored and lonely. But when I’m done with him, I want him gone.

1/25/23 Chapter 2, Paragraph 1

Now I have nothing against women who are escorts but there is shame involved. When you are raised in a wealthy family and you go to the best schools, graduate with a masters in social work, you never really think you’ll ever become an escort. Oh sure, I knew about Xavier Hollander but knowing her name and that she was the Happy Hooker was about all I knew. I think if my original family found out, they would disown me. I know that any family member will try to get me to stop.  And it’s not like I wouldn’t like to stop but how can you start making over $100,000 a year? Especially when all the money from your family dried up and you are pretty much left on your own. All you would have to do is Google my phone number but obviously nobody has or if they have, they haven’t told me.

1/27/23 Sexting

Quite by mistake, I found out something about myself that I never knew. I actually excel at Sexting. I still won’t do video chats and I think most of them are scams anyway, but if anybody wants to take me up on my Sexting skills, I think you’ll find that I am fairly proficient . And I like it too. I think my rates for this will be $30 for 15 minutes. Just long enough.

2/3/23 Gastric Bypass #8

Well, I’m finally to the point where I know what foods I can’t eat, I know what foods are best for me to eat and I’ve lost 57 pounds. And I’m starting to date.

3/23 DestitutiIon

I knew that one day this would come.  I actually dreadded it.  You see I love what I do and I’m good at it.  I don’t usually give up this easily.  But I think it’s come to that point in my life that I need to step away.  You’re wondering where this all came from.  That’s an easy answer.  I simply do not have money.  I’ve gotten money from my best friends and from my mother.  I’m luckier than most because they love me enough to give me money.  We’re talking $2300, and I truly do not know how I will pay them back.  My mother has already told me to not worry about paying her back.

My dear sister is looking into me being traveling bookkeeping!  What a hoot!  If my business would start to pick up, we wouldn’t have such talk.  Imagine me traveling as a Bookkeeper! And even though I have a very loving and giving mother, I can’t keep on doing what I do.  I can’t keep taking and taking.

I’ve taken enough.

4/9/23  Finally!!

Yes, I’m still alive and kicking and thinking about my future and my retirement, if there is one.I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to who said that they’ll work until they die because they can’t afford to retire. My take on retirement is this. I think I vary from most people in that I don’t think I’m going to live at the same level that I’ve lived in my life. I can see myself having to have a roommate getting a two bedroom two bath, I would love to find someone to go RVing with me. I think that would be a great adventure. But again will I be able to afford gas? Will I be able to control the vehicle? Lotta questions.

I once said that I would not end this blog until I have to. Did I take a month off because I thought I had to? Yes and no. I guess we all have our secrets and that will be one of mine. So, to bring you up-to-date, my cat CATIE turned one today and she’s still pretty small so I’m hoping she stays small.She has become much more loving, and I usually wake up in the morning with her staring me down. She’s absolutely adorable almost looks like a pink cat. And when I get down on the floor and I put my arms out she comes and runs into them. Very cute.

I am planning very soon to start looking into insurance adjusting.I had looked into this in 2018. This would not be catastrophic adjusting but rather mostly cars or RVs or bodily injury. I have a really good client who’s a high-level adjuster and he’s a bevy of information. He’s also gone for four months at a time.

So I did a really stupid thing and I feel compelled to find some absolution to my complete faux pas. I got a new phone number and I put it on my ads and then I forgot to answer the people calling that ad. How stupid is that? When I moved from iPhone 6s Plus to an iPhone 11 my burner apps did not come with me and as is the case, I forgot about them. I was looking through things and I stumbled across these phone lines and, oh my God, there were pages of phone calls and texts that I didn’t get because I wasn’t trying to. And then I wonder why I had an $800 week! Talk about feeling stupid. I guess we all have our moments, but I just seem to have more than most people. I will say this, though. I learn from my mistakes, and this transition from one phone to another, has really rattled me and made me be more patient and learn to ask for help when I just can’t understand how something works.  

So if I became an adjuster, I would still see the people that are my clients. I think I would like that. To have a job and to also have a clientele.When I lived in Topeka, and they knew I was moving to Kansas City, the guys there just completely ignored me, which made me believe that I was doing the right thing. And, of course, I was. And I want everyone to know who is reading this that I will always, unless it goes out of business, I will always have my 785 number but as of this month I won’t be using it.So when I started realizing that I wasn’t getting my phone calls I went back to my 785 number and lo and behold I was inundated. It’s a lot more fun to see four guys in a day versus zero.I think, for an escort, there can’t be anything more degrading than sitting around all day long trying to find things to do because you’re not going to see anybody.

So I’ve lost 75 pounds and I want to get five more off before May 19 which is my birthday. Of course, I’m going to St. Louis for my birthday and I’m staying there for a few days.

What more can I say? Except for the fact that I was hospitalized twice since my gastric Bypass, because my lithium was sky high. I tell you, people don’t think much of Topeka, but I lived there for 27 years and I had the best medical care I’ve had since leaving St. Louis and even getting that level of care in Kansas City has been a struggle. But, I think I found my advocate. She’s a neurologist, somewhat young and very proactive. Because of my memory issues, my kids have wanted me to go through a series of tests to rule out early onset, dementia, and early onset Alzheimer’s. I’m happy to say that I have been ruled out for early onset Alzheimer’s, but the testing for dementia is much more robust and lasts four hours. I’ll also be getting a CAT scan and an MRI. I really like this neurologist. She is verymuch with it. When she found out who my PCP was, she said, oh God, you can’t stay with her. She’s awful! (and actually, she really is horrible). So I’m getting a new PCP I’ve got a neurologist. Now I’m gonna have a psychiatrist who will get me off of lithium which is a big problem for me. Never used to be but lately and probably because of my gastric bypass controlling my lithium has been difficult. I don’t know what she plans on moving me over to but I have an open mind. It’s scary to think that I have early onset dementia but it’s scarier to think that I have it and I don’t know I have it.

On that note, I quit smoking pot. 50% of the people I know who get high swear that it doesn’t mess with their memory, but the other 50% are not so sure. And I wasn’t so sure. So in true Patty form, I quit. Just like that overnight. I’ve got to tell you, it’s great being a non-addictive personality. When I quit smoking cigarettes, I just threw the pack away. It’s a lot easier not getting addicted in the first place. I think you also know that I’ve had trouble with my eyes and this neurologist put me on a medication that works. It also makes me nearsightedness, but I can get a pair glasses for that.

Thank God no more Botox shots. You cannot imagine how painful a needle is going above your eyebrow and under your eyelids. And women pay $500-$1000 to get this done cosmetically.Screw that! And the doctor who does the Botox is very kind and nice and always wants his interns to take a time with me, the guinea pig! I don’t like being a guinea pig and I really don’t like these Botox shots.

Did I mention that I’ve lost 75 pounds? And actually it’s been easy because you can only eat four bites at a time. So when you feel sick to your stomach you don’t want to eat. That’s why all those Biologics are taking 60-70 pounds off.Because they make you nauseous. In fact they’re starting to prescribe Ozempic for weight loss, but you can’t find it because everybody’s buying it up! And really I don’t need it because the gastric bypass is working. If you haven’t seen me in six months, just looking at me is really some thing.

OK, I promise promise promise to take some pictures of me and post them on the website, the transformation is nothing short of a miracle. I have about 25 pounds to go, not that that’s written in stone but the doctor didn’t think I’d lose over 90 pounds anyway and I’m shooting for 100. I noticed that my dating repertoire is increasing as I decrease! I’ll end this blog with a story about my mother, who always cracks me up.

She was in the hospital for pneumonia, and they found an aortic aneurysm, a very small one but still it’s there. My mother who has designed her life the way she wanted it, loves the idea of dying of an aneurysm. You’re there one minute. You’re gone the next. I can see the value in that, but I don’t want her to leave under any circumstances and I’m sure many of you have been through that or will go through that. I have been blessed that my father was 90 when he died and my mom is 92. So this aneurysm is very small and they’re gonna watch it every three months but she’s not gonna have the surgery that she needs to have, and that’s her way of saying I’m checking out! Well, I think I’ve written enough for now. If something truly remarkable comes along and I just feel the need to blog I’ll let you know. And I’ll probably spend some time tomorrow on my website, which has once again been hacked into. At least this time the hackers really didn’t know what they were doing so it was pretty easy to back it up and get it going but I need to work on it. Every time someone tells me that they read my blogs or they wonder when I’m going to do another blog and they were you know looking at my website waiting, it makes me feel so good. That I could import some of my so-called wisdom your way. It makes me feel very gratified and maybe just a little bit important. I think it has to do with the fact that I pour myself out to you on a fairly regular basis. And I don’t want to run this into the ground but since I’ve been having issues with my memory, there are a lot of times that I’ll be telling a story and completely forget what I was talking about halfway into it so if I want to blog I have to get it out on paper.As many of you know, I dictate my blogs and that is truly the easiest way for me. I’ll keep you up-to-date on my miscellaneous medical maladies. Oh that’s got a good sound to it.

Dear readers, please don’t leave me and even if I don’t blog for a month I am thinking about it daily. So thank you for reading me and your comments. And know that I’m thinking of you too.

5/16/23 OMG IS SHE REALLY BACK?

I hate to chance it!!

I started the day with my favorite client.  And then client #2, Black Boy, comes in trying to make me believe that I’ve met him before and all he was really there to do was rob me of my beloved Iphone and my wallet.  I’m so fucking done with Black boys.  Don’t even show up at my door!  If you all knew what all I’ve been through, you would have told me to rid my life of them a long time ago.  So, I have no phone, no driver’s license, another new debit…great.  Not even a way to show you what 75 pounds thinner looks like!

Get in touch with me through email:  olderprofessional@gmail.com

5/19/23 Birthday (God not again)

Gosh, what a whirlwind of hospitals and ambulances this fall/winter has been.  I think I can finally say, I am starting to make my comeback and it may look different than before.  But sometimes, that can be a good thing.  I may be remaking myself. 

Either way, if you see this blog, drop me a line!  I lost all my contacts so it would be nice of you to let me know you are still around! If you want to hear the gruesome details of what all I went  through (and survived 3 times) let me know…

5/28/23  Gastric Bypass

Phew!  I finally am starting to feel like I have some modicum of control over my life. I have taken 200 pictures and put probably about 100 up on the site and take a look at my smile and my face because I don’t think I’ve ever been prettier. And that’s funny because just a week ago I was saying that I was uglier. I’m not uglier and those pictures came out really well. Tell me about your wife because I know you need to. And thank you for your support. Now I will say the guy that came forward and really helped me gave me $250 it was for a session but it was a lot of money and I was able to buy a phone and have $150 in the bank . It felt better than being broke. 

5/29/23 Escorts thought

And let me just say this about escorts if I haven’t said it before. The better you know an escort, the better you feel being with her and the more she can do for you that you need done for yourself and not by yourself.

5/31/23 Exactly What I have had Stolen from me in the past 7 years

If I had known how much of my belongings would be stolen, burglarized, taken directly from me, and otherwise absconded from me, I might have thought twice about being a Compa.nion!  Ok, maybe not, but here’s a list for you to either shake your head along with me or laugh (but please, keep that to yourself).

1.   Laptop

2.   Iphone 11

3.   Scale

4.   At least $3000

5.   My wallet twice

6.   My bluetooth speakers (2)

7.   All of my paraphernalia

8.   Oodles of marijuana

9.   Bic Lighters

10.    Everything tkat was taken out of my car that could be including my spare.

11.    All of my precious rings that were easily worth $10,000.  (I think my ex roommate did this).

12.    70 Lingerie outfits (taken by a man no less).

13.    My pride, my self-esteem, feeling stupid, and learning a heck of a lot about who to let into your house and not ever leaving them alone.

6/1/23 Bad People

I really do believe that bad people attract bad people and I think that we can all look at our past and present and say yes, we know a bad person who have attracted bad people. But having been a masters of social work and a therapist for 10 years I know bad people and I know good people . And I am here to say that this occupation I am in, is full of bad people. Now that may only be 10% of the people out there but when you consider that accountants probably only know one percent bad people 10% is a lot. And it’s funny, I just realized the other day that I didn’t start being burglarized and robbed until I moved to this house up north. I never had a problem in my Raytown house except for my male roommate stealing 70 pieces of lingerie. Go figure. That was actually my first foray into being robbed and it felt horrible. And it still feels horrible. And all I want to do is just cry my eyes out and I realize that that’s not going to change anything. So then I get to work. I have to get a new drivers license probably a new birth certificate, a new debit card, some money to put in the bank and hopefully over time, I will replace the items that have been stolen. But I’ll tell you this again and again. It’s black guys doing this. And it’s probably only 1% of black guys doing this which is a shame for all the other nice black guys who get the blame.  But for the life of me, I have never had an Indian, a Mexican, a white man, an Asian or a native American do this to me. The only one person who was not black, was a meth head that I was trying to help as a social worker. I hope to God I’ve learned my lesson by now. And that goes for everything. Ha ha!

6/26/23 I GOT PUNCHED BY A NURSE!!!

The first night I was at St.Lukes North hospital. I was talking with a few nurses and I think somebody was doing vitals on me. I wasn’t very aware of what was going on but I still had my wits about me, if you will. I told this one nurse that I’d be going home tomorrow. She said no you won’t and I said oh yes I will . The next thing I know she’s punching me across my jaw really hard and I think I got a shot in but memory is blurry. My favorite nurse at St. Luke’s was named Erica and she was a beautiful blonde woman who just took to me. She said you won’t ever see that nurse again, implying that she would be fired over this. I tell you there were a few times at that hospital that I wanted to call my lawyer. Some of the things that went on there were weird. They had a basement that was, I think their party room. I’m pretty sure they had escorts down there also. One night, I tried to abscond from the hospital, and of course they walked me back to my room and from then on anytime I stood up on the floor a big loud beeping started so I had to call my nurse every time I had to go to the bathroom so that beeping would stop. That and watching pawn stars was about all I did, while they were getting me off lithium and taking care of a very bad UTI that would not go away. In fact, I think they were more worried about the UTI, turning into sepsis than they were the lithium. All in all I would certainly recommend St.Lukes. I liked the providers, I agreed with the psychiatrist and the doctor for that floor let me come home pretty early because I was doing so well. You probably didn’t know this, but spelling the word WORLD backwards took me four days to conquer. That’s how out of it I was. I see a new primary care on Tuesday the 20th today. I just hope he has a lot of time set aside because there’s a lot to talk about. The first one will be getting a new psychiatrist and hopefully a therapist. And really most importantly getting me scheduled for x-rays and an MRI on my knee so that they can replace it. I want to replace it in August, because that will give me six months of recuperation and PT before I go to Las Vegas with the guy I met In Hawaii!! I figure that it will take six months to heal, but I will work and work and work at this PT because I don’t ever want to feel this kind of pain again. So, as usual, I have wandered off of the initial reason I wrote this blog and maybe that’s just fine. Maybe I needed to talk about that stuff more than a nurse punching me in the face. Up until that time in 56 years I have never been punched. I was like in complete shock. And of course I didn’t leave the next day but I knew what was going down in that basement and I could get them a lot of trouble over it. So if you’re from St.Lukes and you’re reading my blog, I would like you to keep that confidential. So anyway I told Erica I said yeah I’m leaving tomorrow. I don’t care what I have to do but I’m leaving. And all day long she was like, so when are you leaving and I had forgotten that I had even said that. I kind of get now why people hate hospitals. Me, I’ve got to say I kind of enjoy it. My meals are made for me, I can watch all the TV I want, someone somewhere is making me better and I thank God that we have hospitals like we do. I think I’m gonna go to sleep now. It’s 11 o’clock at night and I’m never up this late. I’m starting to think it has something to do with the four hour energy shot I took. Hmmm. But sometimes I’m just like that. Usually I’m sleepy at 8:30. And I certainly don’t wanna see anybody. Well, good night and good day to some of my followers.

6/24/23 Aloneness

I know I put myself in this position, but I realize the other day that I really have no friends. Period. I know I need to get out of my house and start trying to make friendships. I know it’s not easy when you move to a new city to make friends, but my occupation makes it very hard to have friends. There’s a difference between being alone and bored, versus bored and alone. At least it seems that way to me sometimes when I’m alone I don’t feel so bored because I’m doing something waiting on people. But when you’re taking time off, you get to see who really calls you and who doesn’t. Oh well, another bitch fest tomorrow one of these days. I am going to feel great about everything in my life. It may be right before I die but that’s my goal for life that and to keep off the poundage that I’ve lost. 155 and counting down.

6/15/23 A Letter To My Younger Son

Dear Josh,

I’m sorry that you have to call me a whore. And I’m sorry that I lied to you for so long, but I did not do it maliciously. I lied because I didn’t want you to know and suffer from that knowledge that your mother is a prostitute. We don’t usually use that word. We use escort instead but it’s all the same thing. When I was a social worker I made $36,000 a year. 14,000 less than you’re making . I went from that to $100,000 job. I don’t like that it’s illegal but the reward is worth the risk. I do what I do for the money and it supports me and it has supported you. And that’s all I really have to say. If you call me a whore again, I probably will block you. I have to have distance from people who disdain me. I’m sorry that you found out the way you found out but it’s better now that it’s out in the open. I love you Josh. I always have and I always will.

6/14/23 Best Traveling Trip Ever!

I went to St. Louis this past weekend and had very few No Shows, lots of nice generous men, and a great time sitting out by the pool with my sisters.  Got my Imo’s fix and I’m happy to be home. $2000 in 2 full days.  Not too shabby.  I’m seriously thinking of going once a month!

6/14/23 GastricBypass#9

I am now down to 156.  None of my clothes fit, so I’m just going to look like I’m wearing a tent or maybe nothing at all! 16 more pounds to go.

6/14/23 Website Back Online

I took down my website because my 25-year-old son blackmailed me and said he would tell my original family about me.  So I did the prudent thing and got rid of evidence.  Then he told me he was not going to do it, so here I am and I got it back up but I think I’m missing some blogs here.  If anyone has a post from me after 6/3/23, I would appreciate you sending that post to me.

6/17/23 The Whole Story

So, here is the whole story about my gastric bypass that led to my lithium toxicity that could have led to my death. I’m not being facetious, but I don’t think I was in that big of harms way. The first hospital I went to simply got me off the lithium that I took for bipolar 2 disease and recommended Vraylar which is a medicine for bipolar two and one and it cost $1500 a month that my insurance will not cover. The doctor didn’t take the time to look into this to figure out that there’s no way I can take this medicine before he wrote his prescription, and because I went to a hospitalist hospital, I could not talk to him afterwards. He gave me his phone number, but he wouldn’t answer it.

From about early September, I had a psychiatrist who wanted to keep me on the lithium so we started up very gradually, but eventually it was too much I could not metabolize it. And so my brain was going to lithium toxicity again.  Now I have not researched lithium toxicity, but I’m sure it’s not a pretty thing , I could not spell the word “world” backwards and it took me about four days to be able to do it. My cognition was fried and my coordination is still not very good, but, and this is a biggie, my memory is getting better now that I’m off my medication of lithium. I can tell when I’m talking to people I don’t forget what I’m talking about. That was probably the worst part of memory loss. I still am going to have the early onset dementia test done just for the heck of it and to tell my kids to fuck off. Well I might not tell them to fuck off but you know. Lithium is the gold standard for bipolar and I was on it for 16 years without a problem and then I get a gastric bypass. Now the doctor, the surgeon, who was doing my gastric bypass was telling me which of my medications I needed to go off, but he never said anything about my lithium. And I plan to go in there and discuss this with him because this could’ve killed me and he should’ve known it. Lord knows I couldn’t be on a blood thinner but I could be on something that could put me into a coma. Oh great. So the last part of this is that I started getting lithium toxicity again And my functioning went way down. I was not eating. I was not drinking. I was not cognitively aware. I think there were times that I was in a coma actually. My son did a wellness check, and the police came out.  My ex and my son said to me“you’re going to the hospital and there’s no two ways about it”. So I did. I went in the ambulance and I went to St.Lukes North and let me tell you that was amazing. Well actually, it was kind of a zoo to tell you the truth, but the doctors were good and I liked the psychiatrist and what he had to say and they put me on a medication that I know very much about and the only problem is that it makes me want to eat everything in the house. So will power come on out. I feel good these days. Sometimes I get a little manic and I want to spend money and I have to remind myself not to. The eating is difficult but I’m staying at 81 pounds down and I’m OK with that. My mother thought I would be down 100 pounds by now and I told her it just doesn’t work that way.

I have had several people tell me to see a lawyer or two to talk about this case with the surgeon who is managing my meds but not all of them. The problem I see is that I’m not sure there’s any long-term injury. I think you have to have a long-term injury to file an injury claim. Don’t quote me on that. Now , I have a Neurologist who is going to do my early-onset Dementia tests and might testify for me, but the whole thing seems like a big hassle. It’s not that I won’t talk to a lawyer it’s more that I know what they’re gonna say. With Social Security disability, if you cut off an arm, you get it the next day. With Social Security disability, if you have a mental disorder, like bipolar, you can get covered but it takes about two years and the only good news about that is that they have to pay you from the moment you file your claim. So if it takes you two years to get your money you may have $30,000 waiting for you. I’ve seen it happen over and over again because, at one time in my life, I was a Social Security representative Contractor and this isn’t really about Social Security anyway. This is about suing a Doctor who did not do his due diligence. Do you know that after the anesthesia wore off, It was 24 hours later? Usually they are pushing on your shoulder to wake up. “Wake up Patty wake up it’s time to get up. Wake up Patty“ and I heard nothing of that. When I woke up the next day, my sister was there and she wasn’t supposed to be there till the next day. The surgeon dismissed it. Was I in a coma or was I just sedated too much? At any rate, I would not suggest this establishment to do your gastric bypass. The operation was fine. He did a fine job, but there was no pre-care or aftercare whatsoever. No one ever called me to set up an appointment to come back in or to go to a group or anything. They were there to operate on me and operate on me only. And as long as I wasn’t bat shit crazy, they were going to do it. For $16,000. When I think about the whole thing it’s kind of interesting. I’m just really glad that the gastric bypass took. I really had no complications besides nausea 24 hours a day. So I will update you after I see an attorney or two.

I have to tell you that 81 pounds that I carried around for 32 years was the size of a fourth grader or maybe a fifth grader! I don’t see how one does it. The other thing I don’t see is how thin I’ve gotten. I’m sure it’s going to take some time to get used to my new body and in the meantime I’m going to lose more weight. Not a lot.  Anyone want to pay for a Tummy tuck?

6/23/23 Lots of new quick Trades

I’m putting out a whole bunch of small-ish projects around my house and thought some of you would like to help and get helped!  Go to my Trades page…

6/23/23 Now that Marijuana is legal…

I need a new dealer.  And sorry AAs, but not you.  Soooo many black guys have ripped me off.  I want a nice chill guy who is also a businessman.  I would meet you or you could come over to my house.  I do know how much I should be paying for it and the dispensaries are f***ing ridiculous!  Please help me out as a new customer of yours or point me in the right direction!  Please and Thank You!

6/30/23 Why do I even care anymore?

In the past year, I thought about this a lot. And the fact of the matter, is that I’m not getting younger I’m only getting older. And I think, as you get older men find you less intriguing and more for a roommate. I definitely don’t need a roommate , and I haven’t found all that many men who want to date me that find me intriguing. Now granted, I’m a companion, and we are devoted to our clients. But that’s not to say that I couldn’t be devoted to somebody else in the same way and probably even more so. But, am I willing to give up my independence? Am I willing to make a whole bunch of compromises? Am I willing to have sex when I don’t want to? Will I have to put up with snide remarks and mean comments? Do you get where I’m going with this? Again, I’m 56 not 42 and we all know that after the age of 60 the percentage of men who are still alive and kicking falls greatly. I’m going to end this blog with a belief of mine. As if I don’t tell you my beliefs all the time. I believe that as women age they find that they need men less. Especially in an age where women have money and can buy a man to do the hard work at home. Now, am I saying that that’s all man is good for? Not in the least. But I think the cons start to outweigh the pros after about the age of 65. This is not scientific. I have not done the research except for my own empirical research. Men definitely have their places in women’s lives, but they take on such a smaller meaning and amount of time that sometimes it just isn’t worth it. And even if a woman does have a libido past the age of 60 there’s always a good vibrator waiting for her to be bought.

7/2/23 I want a man…

I want a man simply to hold me and not let me go when I start to pull away.

I want a man who is a silly as I am, but levelheaded all the same.

I want a man who physically makes a change in my body when I see him, and when I touch him.

I want a man who is adventuresome as I can be, and want to be especially when I retire. I do not want a man to necessarily share my bed unless it’s a king. I don’t need a man to really take care of me or maybe I do. I just want a man who is my partner in life and in crime, knows how to have a good time, he is not an addict, loves the Chiefs and wants to find love in a loving woman.

7/18/23 A New Knee

As of 9/11/23, I will have a new right knee.  I will be in a skilled nursing facility for a couple weeks and then home convelescing.  I am looking so forward to this operation even though I know it’s going to take a good 6 months of PT and I HAVE TO do what they tell me to do!  I haven’t been good at keeping up to their standards but I know, with this surgery, that I have to do what they tell me to do even if I don’t feel like it!  I will have a friend staying at my house but she is not (!) in this biz.

7/18/23 St. Louis

My trip to St. Lou was great!  I’m getting fewer and fewer no-shows and I think the hotel is on to me.  They blocked both listcrawler.com and skip the games websites!  So I took my laptop next and used their wifi!  I’ll be going back once a month after I have time to heal with my knee, which leads me to my next Blog.

7/26/23 In the Hospital for 48 hours

If anyone knows how to get a bed in a hospital (if you can call the mattress that was simply a covered board a “bed”), it would be me.  I’m not going to talk about why I wanted to go in, but I KNEW I needed to change a medication and this is the fastest way to do it if you don’t have a PCP or Psych doctor.  So, even though the bed was a board and the food made me lose weight, I got to see a very bright doctor who got that I needed a change.  We made the change and I was discharged.  I’m doing fairly well on the new med, having some typical side effects, but feeling better.  If you wondered where I was this last Thursday through Saturday, all 6 that called, I was in the hospital.

7/26/23 St. Louis is once again, so Good To Me!

I went to St. Louis, the 21st through the 24th and did very well, plus I got to see my 92-year-old mother and older sisters.  Then, I saw more men in 2 days than I see in a week here!  Makes ya wonder why I don’t move home.  For two or three very good reasons!  For one, it costs a lot more to live there than where I’m at.  Secondly, my family kind of drives me crazy.  That whole thing can be found in other blogs of mine.  And thirdly, I would miss my guys in KC.  Don’t get me wrong, for the most part, KC sustains me very well.  St. Lou doesn’t get to see me often so they take advantage of my time there.  I’m definitely low volume here and high volume there.  Hey, it works and if something works, you don’t fuck with it, you know?

8/1/23 Back to My Old Self

I just wanted all of my faithful readers to know that I am finally feeling like my old self again and that I’m “out of the woods”, so to speak.  I’m telling you.  It’s been a really different kind of year for me.  And now, I’m getting a knee replacement on 9/11!  I’ll be out of commission for most of September, but I plan to recover quickly like I am so apt to do most of the time.  Plenty of time to blog!

8/2/23 A Note from a Fan

You have had quite an interesting year, but it’s seems as though everything is looking up!!  Wow 90lbs.  That is amazing!! I am tremendously happy for you.  I bet you feel so much better.  I hesitated to email back so quickly because I can’t imagine how many emails you get on a regular basis from your admiring fans.  But what’s the hell, I decided to anyway…I enjoy exchanging messages with you :). You can at anytime just tell me to stop waisting your time and I will understand completely.  I don’t want to be one of those guys that doesn’t get the hint.  I just read your newest blog from today and had to write.  I’m glad you are feeling like your old self.  Actually, from the confidence you’ve gained from the weight loss and new medication, I wouldn’t say your old self…you are feeling like your new and improved self!!

8/6/23 Ghosting

I don’t know about you, but I have been ghosted so many times that I’ve come to believe it is what it is. There’s nothing I can do about it so I better just get over it. I had a really good client who was a weekly regular and all of a sudden a year ago or maybe two, he didn’t ever call me again. Until today. And now I have to decide do I let bygones be bygones or do I hold this against him? I’m not sure I want to do either of those. I thought he was dead. Because there was no way that I could see him not wanting to see me. We saw each other for four years almost every week, and then he just disappeared. Anyone who knows me knows that I do not contact clients, so I figured he either died or he found someone else. It turns out that his health was not good, and he was short on money. Why he couldn’t just tell me that, I don’t have any clue. I still say that ghosting someone is rude and socially unacceptable.

8/7/23 Needing Help after Knee Surgery on 9/11!

I think I’ve said on here that I’m getting my knee replaced.  Well, I thought I might be able to go to a Skilled Nursing Facility for 2 weeks after my overnight hospital stay, but that was nixed at a class for getting a Total Knee Replacement.  The lady told me that insurance doesn’t cover this because they see it as an outpatient surgery.  Even if you do stay overnight in the hospital!  So I asked my son to come down on the 12th to pick me up and I think he will do this, but I’m going to need someone to come in a couple times a day to check up on me for a week or so.  If you know of someone who would like to be paid for caring for me, please let me know.

8/15/23 Gastric Bypass – 1 Year Later

I have lost 95 lbs and I’m sure I’ll go lower.  I have much more confidence in my looks and my ability to maneuver (I do a lot of that).  I feel proud that I have done this in one year!  An d all the kudos I”ve gotten on the way has been astounding.  Some of you have even become friends with me (not the married guys mind you) and I can see that I appeal to a broader range of guys too.  I’d still love to get a tummy tuck but I’ll let somebody else pay for it!  Thank you all again for rooting me on.  It’s meant a lot and still does…

8/15/23 What I Really will need with my Knee Surgery

Ok. My sister is coming the 12-14th of September and will stay longer (not much) if I need her to.  Then I will still need people to come in and see me, make sure I don’t need something.  Make sure I haven’t fallen and can’t get up! If you are someone I’ve seen more than a couple times, let me know if you can help with this.  I promise not to ask for too much! And free sessions will be coming.  Can’t promise when….

8/23/23 Male Escort Service now available

I have a good client/friend who is wanting to see if there are any men who are as bi-curious as he is.  Now seeking bottoms/tops for fun with a 3-some or all by yourselves in a safe/neutral environment.

8/23/23 Gastric Bypass – Year in Review

I have lost 95 lbs. alt0gether this first year.  I am hoping to get and stay around 130-140.  It’s been a wild roller coaster that I would do all over again.  I’m very happy with my year at this and I think the future looks good….

9/3/23 No New Blogs

Sorry to my avid readers but I haven’t felt much like blogging lately.  I don’t know if it has to do with my upcoming surgery and anxiety over what and how my life will change.  You see, I’ve never really been into exercise.  But I’m at a plateau weight-wise and I was told that I need to start moving.  And now my knee.  So, I guess I’m going to start moving a heck of a lot more than I have been VERY SOON!  If that doesn’t have me worried, I don’t know what would!  

But here’s the kicker, many times I have said how much I love water.  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  And NKCH has a pool that you can pay a very reasonable amount each month to join.  North Kansas City Hospital is like 5 minutes from me.  And, I would have to walk all the way to the pool and back to the garage!

See, it isn’t that I don’t know what I need, it’s getting my no-longer-fat-ass over there!

10/28/23 What a Freaking Fuckhead!

Let me just say that I will never do an outcall to Platte City ever again.  There is absolutely nothing up there and the guy that I went to see today reminded me of this.  When I got there, I walked into a hotel room full of clothes and shit!  And, to boot, he had no donation for me.  He said that we could go to the ATM across the street and he would give it to me after we were done!  I told him where he could go.  I drove over 25 minutes there and back for no goddamn reason and I’m pissed!  So from now on, I’m going to have to make sure that all of my outcalls understand that the donation is upfront.  Why one bad person can rock the boat this much is simply unbelievable, but that’s part of this business and it’s the part that I hate.  Please note!  I will only do outcalls to downtown and airport upscale hotels.  Sometimes, I really hate this occupation.  I will say, though, that 99.9% of the outcalls I do go just fine and are with upscale clients.  This was a bad apple and I will not go to Platte City again.  I should’ve known better.

11/4/23 The Worst

Everybody always asks me to write about clients, and I only will if I have some thing to say! Well, I have something to say. This guy came in hunched over, and I asked him what was wrong, and he said his sciatica. First off, who goes to see an escort when they’re in pain? So I get him back to my back bedroom and he does not get undressed. So I had to coach him in that. Then he wants me to perform my specialty and he tries to tell me how to do it. And I know damn well that how I’m doing it is not going to work. I’ve been doing this for eight years and I’ve seen enough men to know better. So we switch to full service and he can’t stay hard so he takes off the condom and I’m like “what the fuck!”!  You just don’t do that. Finally,I give him a hand job, which is not my specialty, but I do what I can. Finally finally our time runs out. What a fucking waste. I try to feel bad for him, but it was very hard. He was very disrespectful and did not want to follow my rules, and I was simply not having it. The only good thing is that I know I’ll never see himagain.

11/4/23 $500 Hookers

Man, what a life! If you go on tryst.link, you will see a whole bunch of $500 hookers! And what you will notice about them is that they are always traveling. Can you imagine a $500 hooker having a regular clientele? Who would pay $500 for an hour even if it’s completely blissful? I’ll tell you who! These women are on somebody’s bucket list. And they must have enough guys that have them on their bucket list to go and travel. And they might actually have some regular clients as they travel, but I know from traveling that that’s probably every other month. And when you’re spending $500 for an hour, every other month is probably all you can do unless you are quite independently wealthy! And here’s an interesting factoid: I once asked a pimp how much a high dollar escort makes in a day and he quoted me 1.5 times what they charge!  So they will see 3 clients in two days.  I still wonder if that’s the truth or not.

11/7/23 Interesting Client Stories #361

361? Really? Well, maybe if I had written down all the interesting and funny clients stories that I’ve encountered in eight years, I would have 361 of them! But as it is, and with my memory, I tend to forget, and not write it down. And actually, this is no different than any other time, but , the person that I’m going to write about is different and therefore, very able to be remembered!He came to me like any other client does, but that’s where things diverge, so to speak. The first thing I found out is that his wife is more sexual than he is. And they’re both in their 60s. So you know me, I had to pry and what I found out was amazing. She picked me for him! She went through the ads, knowing he was going to be in Kansas City on business and told him to look me up. And then we got into crazy stories about casual swinging and her bi-curiousness, and how I would fit into that.It was a wild ride and it ended with him asking me if I would be OK with going on vacation with them. To which, I was positively intrigued. Of course, I’ve never heard anything more but it’s only been a week or so. She was going out for girls while he was going out for me and I would love to hear how that all turned out.

11/16/23 Another Good Use for Marijuana

Well, I came home from St. Louis with a terrible stomach ache. I wanted to tell you that when you have a stomach ache, you should run, not walk, to your local dispensary, and get either gummies or weed and a pipe and a lighter! This is because marijuana makes your stomach pain go away. It also produces a substance called Gherlin which makes you get hungry when you smoke marijuana. Your stomach never feels full. So it helps numb your stomach so that the pain goes away and it helps make you hungry, which is kind of important.It also helps with nausea due to the same mechanism.Besides that, the euphoria is awfully nice! And now Ohio has legalized it also. Yay!

11/16/23 Strung Along Again!

I’m telling you, dating at my age is kind of ludicrous! Three times in a row, and within about the span of a month, I have talked with three different men and each one has strung me along. The first one told me after a week of talking that he was not ready for a relationship yet. The next one told me, after a week of the same, that he was dating another woman. The third one told me after a week of solid straight talking during the day and night, that he was in love with another woman! What is wrong with me that I am attracting these kind of guys? Or is it just dumb luck? At any rate, I’m sick of it! I’m gonna start asking guys: Are you in love with another woman? Are you ready for another relationship? And are you dating anybody else? They’ll probably look at me like I’m crazy and maybe I am. I think you have to be a little crazy to be in the dating market these days. And it’s not just my age. I hear it from a lot of different people of all different ages. The online dating scene is a joke. Period.

11/16/23. St. Louis was very good to me!

I think I was Miss Popularity this past weekend in St. Louis. I had one no-show, which is unheard of, and too many appointments to list on here. I tend to be a very low volume provider in Kansas City, but in St. Louis, I kind of have to pack them in. I’m only there for two days and then I go see my mother. And this time I had more takers than appointment times.What a good feeling to know that I am wanted! And if you didn’t know this before, that’s a big plus to what I do. Every time I make an appointment and it’s kept, I know they wanted me! So I felt very wanted in St. Louis and now I’m really looking forward to going back and I will be going back probably January 18/19 (wink wink).

11/16/23 New Content!

I want to start making some new content in my 135 lb body!  Yes, I have now lost over 105 pounds, but to tell you the truth, I want to gain some back.  With my stomach troubles of late, I have lost another 10 pounds and it shows!  At any rate, my admirers (and paying customers) on Only Fans want/need to see more of me.  

So, I’m looking for guys in their 30s/40s who are in fairly good shape, can register on Only Fans (!), and participate with me in making fun and explorative Content!  No money will be exchanged.

11/25/23 Deposits

I used to think that deposits were all scams, and for the most part, they are! Especially when the woman asking for them has an hourly charge that is the same as the deposit. So basically she wants to be paid upfront with no services ever to be rendered. But then there are the deposits that are asked for by these $500 escorts and that I can understand. If you feel you’re worth that much than any guy who’s gonna pay that much should be willing to pay a deposit to be able to see you. They can tell that you’re legit based on your profile, your P411, your erotic review rating etc. but as for my self, I try not to go that route unless I feel like my time might be wasted. So, for example, if a guy wants to book an extended period of time with me and wants to have me not see anybody before him, I will ask for a $200 deposit. That’s based on a $500-$800 outing with him. And, from now on, if I am asked to travel more than 20 miles, I may ask for a travel deposit. Especially after what happened in Platte city! If I had asked for a travel deposit everything would’ve ended, and I never would’ve gone! I see this a lot with the upscale escorts on tryst. Mind you that deposit would only be $50 but at least it offsets my travel time and expense. It’s always scary to make an appointment for more than one hour because you don’t know if this person is playing with you, or if they’re legitimate. One sure way of showing legitimacy is to make a deposit! It’s also a really good way to get ripped off. I think you have to know who you’re giving the deposit to which is why I have this website!

11/27/23 No More X For Me

When you go to a website and you start reading the contents, and your blood pressure goes up, your heart starts to race, and you can literally feel anxiety creeping over you, this is when you need to close that website. No website, no social media, no news program is worth feeling anxious over.Now maybe you don’t suffer from anxiety or maybe these venues don’t trigger that for you. But X definitely does this to me, which is why I deleted my account, and I deleted the app. I hate all the divisiveness on it. They ban things like nudity, which they never did before, but they don’t ban antisemitism! And being Jewish in America, I am really worried about my future. And don’t tell me I have no reason, unless you can tell me the reasons I have no reason!For me, X has just become a very thinly veiled disguise for what our world has become. And I refuse to be a part of it. (Getting off my soapbox now

12/3/23 OMG This is a real ad on STGs! Read the whole thing!!  Hysterical!

Now I don’t often even look at other providers ads.  I have to be really bored, but when I got to this one, I knew I had to post it on here.  This is a GREAT example of everything I am not!  And thankfully, most other providers aren’t either!  Read on for some cray cray!

After midnight late night early morning freaky special for all the true freaks 100 ?¬タルs Hhr bbj special with two pops gentlemen . this special is only valid for in☎️’s only . I’m located in Independence at my hotel room alone and just seeking the right kind of company to come chill and hang . I also wearing butt plugs and offering some hot nasty anal sex to a gentlemen who deserve to climax real good and nasty in my tight little asshole . Tonight I’m not discriminating against anyone for there looks age size or possible mental health issues unless I get creeped out talking to you over there phone and my third spiritual eye is self consously warning me that your a threat and nasty filthy horny rapist that is on a mission to man handle my bare naked ass and tear it up and stretch it out with alot of hate fucking a nigger bitch butt pounding without precautions to used protection cuse if I am alerted that you are anything of that nature I’ll be sure to excuse my way out of meeting with your creepy weirder then me ass cuse if that’s the case there no telling what you’ll pass on to me besides your dark inner demons who’s upsest with racist butt fucks with nasty cream pies . so let’s keep it clean and safe gentlemen I’ll offer a couple hours for a outcall special with Greek calls and multiple pops with of course Bbj and sloppy Toppy fire wet head . I’m seeking a donation of something reasonable for a couple hours that includes Greek friendly calls on my menu . I’m open to hereing your offer if your possibly interested and might be willing to budge some and negotiate as long ad you can provide my transportation as well to you and back home safely and wouldn’t mind me bringing my best friend which is my accountability partner to just make sure I’m safe she’s is not a provider and will not be up for grabs for anything perverted on my dirty girl menu . she will remain fully dressed and not participate in any of are butt fuck trifling hot ? nasty sex . I’m gonna Need some type of a reasonable donation for her as well for her time as well . she’s legit not on any bullshit or anything extra she will not try to rob you or be disrespectful to your home and I’m the same way and just more concerned on making you happy so you can make me happy and then we all will be happy . Hmu if your interested in sticking some dick up my ass and busting a few fat nuts in it to where I crap out alot of cum later when I finally have the erdge to shit and hopefully enjoy it in peace . I’m looking forward to having some one need me to come by so they can give me that hot nasty anal fuck iv been curiously missing and I’m looking for ward to having a few of you stop by to get served with a nice decent full hhr two pops enjoying your climax and busting them nuts that will put you in the faze of so tired you crash like a little baby and sleep very comparable and safe and sound with hot nasty weird wet dreams that mind fuck you later .

12/3/23 Match

With everything that I have gone through this year and continue to go through. With my age, slowly inching up into that area of no return. With feeling my loneliness more and more and feeling like it’s gaining a hold of me, I decided to get on Match.com. I paid $130 for six months and I’m hoping it doesn’t take me that long to find my person. I just joined on Monday so things are going fairly swimmingly. I have quite a few dates this week. But I’m highly skeptical. And of course, none of them will know what I do for a living. I feel like I’m putting really bad karma out into the world and it’s going to come back at me. I wish I could figure out a better way. I would much rather date someone who knew what I did.

My experience so far on Match has been mixed, to say the least. I matched up with a few guys early on, but they seem very apathetic in that I have to message them “Good morning” before I ever even hear from them. So that makes me feel like they don’t really want to talk to me. I met one guy for dinner at the cheesecake factory, which was very nice. Turns out he doesn’t have a home! He moves between each of his four children’s houses. And then he tried to tell me that he’s helping them out! We had a very nice dinner, and it went nowhere, I’m starting to think that that may be the norm. Trying to keep a good attitude, but in this day and age, it’s not that easy.

Went on another date today and now I’m about to swear off all first dates! Ask me tomorrow and I’ll probably change my mind on that, but for right now I’m against them. This last one was a nice lunch but after a half hour I wanted out of there. I had to stay for another hour. Funny thing is, after a week of being on Match, I would’ve thought I would be inundated with chat requests.  Except for the first day or so, I have not been and it may be the fact that I put that I’m 420 friendly! But if that’s what is keeping the more redneck kind of guys away, I’m not gonna take it down.

12/6/23 Took down Many Vids

I finally decided to delete my Many Vids account. I did this, because most of my videos were not selling, and the teasers were more than I wanted to show anybody who hadn’t paid. I probably could’ve changed my teasers, but with the fact that I wasn’t selling anything, it felt kind of fruitless. I’m still on Only Fans and doing very well on there. I’m working new videos and should have them out next week.

12/8/23 Working Out!

I may be one of the laziest people I know, but I joined Planet Fitness right after my last PT session. I’m going three times a week, and so far I love it. We’ll see how long this lasts, but given the fact that Planet Fitness is two minutes away from me, and never very crowded, I think I will maintain. I’m working on increasing my strength because at times I feel very weak. And I’m working on my range of motion with my knee. For $10 a month, you can’t beat it. I had heard that the facility at Vivion and Antioch was not the nicest place, but I haven’t experienced that at all. The people are very nice and very helpful and the place is cleaned regularly. They did tell me not to leave anything in my car and I don’t. I like that I can lock everything up there.

Hey, if I can do it, anyone can

12/10/23 Self-conscious

I had a client tonight tell me that I have no need to be self-conscious of my new thinner, saggier body. He told me that I was just as pretty at 135 as I was at 165 when I took all those pictures. I didn’t disagree with him in person, but I’m sorry, I don’t see it. At 165, I was pretty. My face was still somewhat full and my jowls didn’t show as much.I still had full breasts. I had a non-flat ass! And really, the issue is not how I look, but more about how I feel about myself. And I don’t feel I look good. I think my face is too thin, my breast are way too saggy and flat as a pancake. My belly is still my biggest part, and it’s kind of saggy. It reminds me of when I used to watch Kate and John, the ones who had like eight babies at one time. And when you look at her belly before she got a tummy tuck, it kind of looks like mine! Now, don’t get me wrong. I look fabulous in a dress. I look smashing in jeans and a sweater. It’s only when I take off my clothes that I’m aghast! Well, maybe that’s a bit strong. But you get my drift. Unfortunately, I’m in an occupation that favors bigger. In fact, I was told many times as a BBW, that guys didn’t want to do anything with a bag of bones. And I’m not a bag of bones yet, but I am thin. I’m glad I’m healthy. Or at least healthier. I’m glad I look good in clothes. I’m glad my mother is so proud of me. I just wish I didn’t feel so bad when I took my clothes off. Especially in front of guys who don’t know me. Oh, and I should mention that the man who told me not to be self-conscious, also told me that he was coming to me for my personality, not my looks. He found my website and was totally taken by my blogs. I might start to make that required reading!

12/10/23 3 months after my total knee replacement

Well, it’s been three months since I had my total knee replacement and this is where I’m at today. I can bend it 115% and functional is considered 120% but I want to be able to bend it 140%. I gained some strength and some range of motion during PT, but to tell the truth, I don’t feel I made that much progress. I do notice, and have noticed, that each week that passes brings new abilities. I’ve also noticed that my workouts at planet fitness are helping. I’m getting stronger and my range of motion is getting better. I was told before the operation and by many people, it would take six months to a year to be fully recovered and I believe it. My knee still feels very tight and the PT lady said that would be the way it is for 6 to 12 months. I still have pain at times and that could last for a year also. Now it’s not nearly as bad as it was, but at night it aches. I’m still very glad that I did this. And I’m pretty confident that I’ll get to the point where I want to be eventually.

12/13/23 I Finally Feel Pretty

I just took a look at my new pictures and really looked at them and I was simply amazed. I look absolutely beautiful in them, and I can actually say that! Somehow, when I just look at my face, I don’t see it. But when I looked at myself smiling, and in these wonderful outfits, I was just simply amazed. I finally have some self-confidence back. I’ve lost 110 pounds and except for my sagginess, I actually look pretty good! Imagine that.… 

12/14/23  What A Day!

Well, I guess those pictures hit the mark! I had more calls today than probably any other day in the last six months or so. Of course, one guy booked two hours and stood me up, but the rest of the day was really good. I want to thank everybody who gave me their comments. It was much appreciated.

12/17/23 Impotence

Let’s talk about impotence. The word impotent means the inability to have an erection. I looked it up in the online dictionary. But I was always under the impression that impotency meant you couldn’t get someone pregnant. That’s not it at all. And that’s not what I want to talk about in this blog either. What I want to talk about is the fact that a man can still have an orgasm, even if he is impotent. I met an older man the other day, who did not understand this. He was only interested in doing things to me. And this was a first for me. He wanted nothing in return. Like many men, he got off getting me off. And he even ended it with a wonderful massage! Impotent or not, I tried to convince him that it could be a two-way street. So now, maybe, a number of men out there who are reading this will understand that you do not have to have an erection to have an orgasm. I think that menopause, medication, and this are the least understood sexual phenomena by men. And I’m trying to change that.

12/17/23 No More Hawaii Man

I don’t know what to say. I met a man in Hawaii two years ago and we have kept in touch the entire time. We’ve gotten very close and I even told him I loved him. We were planning to meet in Las Vegas this next May and spend four days together at the Wynn hotel. About two weeks ago, he breaks it off. I’m still not entirely sure why, but I think he had a lot of difficulty with my dating other men. And I can kind of see why, especially if he had feelings for me, and I believe he did. He always wished me luck in my dating pursuits, but he would ask me a lot of questions. He stated this was because he was a detective and detectives ask a lot questions. But what I can’t figure out is why now. Before he broke things off, we were talking a lot more and getting a lot closer. I think this scared him. And I think the distance was a problem. To say the least, I’m very sad. But I do understand. Kind of.

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