Well, you might have noticed if you read my blogs regularly that I took all the blogs down about Alex. I did this because I didn’t want to put out that energy to the universe and I felt that they were depressing blogs that I didn’t really want anybody else reading. I have since found out that he does not want a relationship or a friendship with me. He has shown me this through his actions. And actions speak louder than words. so we are not talking, and I doubt we ever will again. I basically got bamboozled by this guy and I learned a lot about how to approach a relationship. I will not make the same mistakes I made with him. Of course, he omitted to tell me that he had a drinking problem, and quite honestly, I don’t think there’s much you can do about a recovering alcoholic especially when they’re not even 30 days sober. I know I’m much better off for leaving this relationship.
2/8/24 Update on my gastric bypass
I was going to entitle this blog, I Sag! But I didn’t want people to not read it! As a result of losing 110 pounds, can I just say that I look great in clothes, I am way more healthy and will probably live longer and I feel better. But, the part about looking better naked is suspect. I do sag. My boobs have lost a cup and I feel like they’re down to my bellybutton. Of course they aren’t but you know what I mean. My stomach is smaller, but it still sags. My arms sag, my thighs sag, my butt sags, even my pussy sags!I thought about having a tummy tuck done in Mexico. A client told me that he had a gastric bypass there and it went really well and they were a very professional outfit in Cancun. That would make me a lot happier and somewhat poorer. Not sure if that’s a word. At any rate, I am who I am. My body is what it is. And when I ask clients, who have known me since I was fat, whether I look better fat or skinny, they always say skinny. Or they say they like me at both weights. Which is actually very nice to hear.
2/8/24 You Can’t Force Intimacy
Even with an escort! I was with a man last night, who was very sweet, very generous, and very married. But what creeped me out about him was that he treated me like he’d known me six months and we had been dating that long. He had no boundaries around what might be appropriate with me on our first date. He wanted me to treat him like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, that was his fantasy, not mine. I suppose I have walls and boundaries set up so that I don’t feel creeped out, and most men do not do this to me. I usually have to do a little coaxing with them, but they never want to just give give give. That was what was up with this guy. I think when we were texting, I started to get the feeling of it being too soon and too much. Kind of like my last relationship. But this guy was married and it wasn’t gonna go anywhere. I certainly was not going to get into a relationship with a married man, I’ve done that and I will not go back. Horrible, horrible experience. So, in the end, I made him leave early. It wasn’t just that he creeped me out, it was more that I was exhausted, and having trouble keeping my eyes open. But even if I wasn’t exhausted, I would’ve let him leave. He gladly took the money that I offered him. I think what I’m going to take from this is to recognize through texts where a person is coming from. If I’m kind of creeped out in their texts, I’m going to be creeped out by them. It doesn’t happen often, but last night was a very good example.
2/8/24 Relationship Truths
1. If love was enough, every relationship would have a 100% success rate.
2. Bad relationships change good people.
3. Toxic is when they can’t let you go, but they can’t treat you right either.
4. Authentic love may be unconditional but it does not mean unconditional tolerance.
5. You can take your power back by letting people go.
6. The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.
7. Sometimes rejection is redirection towards something better.
8. Healthy relationships include uncomfortable conversations.
9. Loyalty behind your back is really top tier.
10. Kindness is not flirting.
Attention is not love.
Silence is not anger
2/8/24 Hawaii Man is Back!
Well, it’s kind of a funny story. I blocked Ken after we “broke up“ and then later I decided to unblock him. Well, he tried to get in touch with me when I had blocked him and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t contacting him back. And then, one day after I unblocked him, he sent me a text. And that was all she wrote. I mean we’re not back to where we were, but he did send me the most gorgeous decorated egg, and I love these. He had also sent me a gorgeous robe from the Wynn hotel. And he has been very generous with me in the past. We have talked about me going to Hawaii for another work vacation, but I’m not sure I wanna fly that far. We had also talked about us going to Las Vegas and staying at the Wynn hotel. I don’t know if any of this will happen but I’m glad that we’re back talking. I had missed him. He missed me too. I think it just goes to show that when you’ve known somebody two years and you care for them, silly, stupid arguments can be forgiven and forgotten.