A friend remarked to me the other day that I have a very good head on my shoulders. And I couldn’t agree more. I do have a good head for most things. But, boy oh boy, when it comes to love, I obviously do not. I mean how, after all, could I have been so snookered by a fucking alcoholic, who sold me a bill of goods and had me drinking from the trough? I like to think that I’m better than that. But obviously, I am not. And as much as it pains me to admit that, the only way to get better is to first admit that you have a problem. I would say I definitely have a problem.
I’m great at business. I’m great as an escort. I’m creative and talented and smart. So why can’t I get this whole love thing? Why can’t I see the forest for the trees? Am I so immersed in the forest that I just can’t see the whole picture? Because once I’m outside of that forest, oh my gosh, the picture is so clear. But when I’m in there, I might as well be blind.
Now, having written this, it’s on me to do something about this.Did you actually think I wrote these blogs for you? Oh, no! I write them for me. This is my therapy. You might not have known that or you might have, but either way, make no doubt about it. This is now on my to do list. And I will be more cognizant of how I go about starting a relationship because obviously what I’ve been doing isn’t working. And when something isn’t working, you don’t keep bashing your head against the same brick wall over and over again! Because if you do that, then you are insane. That is the definition of insanity.
I want to end this blog, that did not start out to be what I have now written, with a thought about my blogs. Someone recently said that it’s like reading a diary and I addressed this in a blog. But I want to add that, if my being as honest as I am and as transparent as I can be bothers you, or makes you realize how dishonest you are or untransparent you are, I can’t help you. What I hope my blogs do is make you realize that you share a lot of the same issues I do. Or at least see my issues as something that you can relate to in your own life. Obviously not every single blog. But maybe there’s just one blog that you relate to and it helps you. This is where my blogs are for you, because not only is this therapy for me, but it’s also maybe a little therapy for you. And, so be it if they’re just simply entertaining. I can live with that. What I obviously cannot live with is the thought of not writing about my issues or sharing them with you. As long as you are listening, I will continue to share, and I will hopefully continue to get better.
And if it never occurred to you that I was a very good therapist, you have another thing coming to you. Have a great day!