Do you believe in second chances? I do. Maybe even third chances knowing that three times is a charm. But I digress. This blog is about Alex and what has transpired since my last blog about Alex.
Shortly after I wrote that blog, he went to the hospital to detox. He feels that he does not have another detox in him and, as such, he is going into AA and has two sponsors already plus a peer counselor. He’s going to do 30 meetings in 30 days which is standard for AA. To say the least, he has been in very bad pain, and he kind of messed his body up. But when you’re drinking that much poison, that’s going to be the end result. We are talking daily, and I have let him know that his recovery is the most important thing to him right now. I have offered to be his friend and possibly his lover, but that is on the back burner. I totally get that he needs to work on himself and get right with himself first. I still have all the feelings I ever had. But I am holding off a bit due to my need for self preservation and to see what he does in the next 30 days.
So I guess you could say I have 1 foot in and 1 foot out and that’s OK by me. I think he counts himself lucky that I want to have anything to do with him. But I’ve met my fair share of men, as you well know, and I seriously have not met someone whom I thought could be my person the way that Alex could be my person. You know you’ve got something good when you’re willing to go to Al-Anon for someone! Wish me luck…