I, in recent weeks, have come to realize that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life. I think there are several reasons for this and the biggest reason is me. I don’t think I really want to be with someone full-time. I would be great for like a truck driver. If I thought truck drivers were any good at all , unfortunately I’ve had a few run-ins. I also think that I really enjoy my own company, way more so than most other people. I’m so set in my own ways that I don’t think I could give up how I do things.I’ve started seeing somebody but I can tell you 10 cons and may be 4 pros for this guy. Why do I continue to see him? I suppose because I get bored and lonely. But when I’m done with him, I want him gone.
1/14/23 My Mother Updated
I have told you about my mother in posts along the way, but the news I have is not good. She has an aortic aneurysm that has not burst, but is on its way to and she can have an operation but at 92, she’s thinking that this is a sure way out , a quick way out and on her own terms. I don’t feel ready to have her gone, but I will never feel ready to have her gone. That being said, my sisters didn’t even bother to tell me she was in the hospital.
Update: well, it turns out that the aneurysm is very small and they’re going to check it every three months with a CAT scan. I can understand my mom wanting to choose a relatively easy way to go. She has seen so many of her friends linger and she does not want to do that. But it sounds like I’m not losing her anytime soon.