5/4/25  Sadness

I get it.

I’d say 75% of the men I see carry a certain sadness. And 95% are married—still very much in love with their wives—but have slowly come to terms with the fact that sex, or at least good sex, may be behind them.

Their wives have gone through menopause or had a hysterectomy—two different paths to the same destination. And with that often comes a lost libido, a shift in desire. It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s not neglect. It’s biology. Mother Nature, in all her wisdom, sometimes robs us of our drive just when we finally have the freedom to enjoy it. How unfair is that?

But I digress.

What I really want to talk about is the sadness I feel from so many men who don’t want to see someone like me—but feel they have to. Not because they don’t love their wives. They do. Deeply. This is the woman they married, the one they chose. The one they still long to connect with.

But that connection just isn’t there anymore—at least not in the bedroom.

They don’t want to be with someone else. They want to be met at home. But their wives have changed, and the act itself—once joyful and bonding—has become painful, dry, unsatisfying, or simply unwanted. Some women never initiate again. And many men, in their desperation, push too hard… and end up losing all the intimacy they once had.

That’s where I come in.

I offer a semblance of that lost connection. A reprieve. A warm, accepting space where you can feel close to someone again. Where you can feel wanted again.

I wrote a blog last year about how to rekindle intimacy with a post-menopausal partner. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to go back and read it. I still believe in it. Because while losing intercourse is one thing, losing all intimacy? That’s a much deeper wound.

So yes, I see your sadness. I feel it. And I’m sorry.

I’ll do my best to give you what you’ve been missing.