1/22/25 People Do Change

I used to believe that people didn’t change. I couldn’t even pinpoint anything about myself that had changed, so I was convinced that transformation was a myth. And then—I became an escort.

What a change that was.

I grew up with money, in a good family, the kind that would never understand why I do what I do. And I don’t blame them. Before I made this choice, I wouldn’t have understood it either. But I did make the choice, and I’ve never looked back—not really. I like what I do. I’m good at what I do. I make a lot of money doing it. And if you had told me years ago that I’d be here, I never would have believed you. So to say that people don’t change? That’s a complete misnomer.

For a long stretch of my life, I didn’t even enjoy sex. I barely had it. At 30, I was prescribed 200 mg of Zoloft, a strong SSRI antidepressant. And back in 1991, SSRIs wiped out your libido. Maybe some don’t now, but I doubt it. So, I didn’t want sex. I had just enough to secure my place in my marriage, and then I stopped.

I feel bad about that—for him, for me. A lot of women use sex as a tool, and I did, too. I’m not proud of it, but it was what it was. My ex and I barely touched each other except to procreate, and looking back, that was a deeply sad chapter of my life.

Fast forward to 2007. I was taken off antidepressants, and my libido came roaring back. And unlike many women, menopause didn’t take it away. That was a stroke of luck. My relationship with sex changed long before I started escorting in 2015, but even then, I never could have imagined this would be my path. And yet, here I am. People do change.

Another transformation? My weight. It wasn’t just physical—it took me a long time to mentally catch up to my new body. For the most part, I embrace it. But I’ve paid a price. These days, I never know for certain if my stomach will feel okay. That was never an issue before, but now it’s a daily uncertainty. Not a dealbreaker, just a reality.

And then there’s the biggest shift of all: who I am as a person.

Last year, I decided to turn over a new leaf. And I believe anyone can do this at any point in life—if the desire is strong enough. Mine was. I got sick of the way I was treating people. I wanted to be better. I truly believe that what goes around comes around, and I made a conscious choice to change.

And here’s the remarkable thing: all these changes—some chosen, some unexpected—have led me to where I am now. And where I am is a very good place.

I don’t have much to complain about these days. And that, in itself, is something to be grateful for.

3 Comments

  1. Louis Brending

    I left a reply earlier, but not certain it saved. What I meant to say was, I make certain my partner cums first, or several times, before me. I wasn’t quite as concerned when I was married, and probably should have been more considerate in that department.

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