Blogs for 8/4/25

8/4/25 Sex Talk

I have to tell you—when I’m having sex with someone and they don’t say a word, I am totally turned off. I mean, how am I supposed to know if I’m doing it right? Or if they’re even enjoying themselves? I don’t—and that unnerves me. Even a little heavy breathing is better than complete and total silence. And, not surprisingly, these tend to be the same men who don’t crack a smile.

But come on—life’s too short not to smile during sex. If you’re not smiling during sex, when are you going to smile? Okay, I’ll admit I don’t know these men well enough to say they never smile, but I definitely have my suspicions.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how short life is. Maybe that’s why I’ve become so focused on doing what I actually want to do. I don’t have the time—or patience—for things that feel like a chore. Life is too precious for that.

And as for talking during sex? I probably do too much of it. I’ve even wondered if anyone actually wants me to talk during our sessions. But if I didn’t talk, I wouldn’t be enjoying myself. I like to relate to people—and I love when people relate to me. I used to say, back when I was a therapist, “Just throw me the ball!” It was my way of saying, “Open up—I’m not going to pull teeth.”

That’s kind of how I feel about silent men in bed. Come on, throw me the ball. Say something. Smile. Let me know you’re in there.

8/4/25 Time Spent

Does it make sense to spend a half hour with me—or a full hour? A lot of men ask themselves this question. Some even ask me. So here’s my take on it:

A half hour can feel a little rushed—especially if you’re not quite as quick as you were at 30! I won’t even consider 15-minute “quick visits.” I don’t want a revolving door, and I certainly don’t want my neighbors seeing someone come in and leave 15 minutes later.

Now don’t get me wrong—we can absolutely get things done in a half hour. But I think it’s especially important to book a full hour the first time we meet, particularly if you think you might want to see me again. Once we know each other, a half hour might be just right. Or, you might find that you enjoy cuddling and chatting a bit more—so an hour feels better.

Of course, money is a factor. I completely get that. But just so you know, I do offer more during an hour. Maybe it’s a longer massage. Maybe it’s a back tickle that goes on and on. It really depends on what you want from our time together.

If you’re someone who likes to get straight to the point, then a half hour will probably suit you just fine. But if you like to take your time, explore a little, and let things unfold slowly, then you’re definitely more of a full-hour guy.

Whatever you decide, I hope it’s the right fit—for you, and for us.

8/4/25 What I Wish Clients Knew (But Don’t Always Say)

There are things I wish more clients knew. Not because I’m secretly stewing about them (I’m not), but because sometimes I think guys would get so much more out of the experience if they understood a few simple things. So in the spirit of honesty—and a little gentle education—here’s what I wish I could say to every client:

1. I actually like what I do.

This isn’t a sob story. You don’t need to feel guilty or tiptoe around me. I’m here because I want to be, and I’m good at what I do. I’m not just “tolerating” you. If I didn’t enjoy connecting with people, I wouldn’t have lasted in this profession.

2. I can tell when you’re nervous—and it’s okay.

Trust me, nervous energy walks through the door before you do. But you’re not alone. Most guys are at least a little anxious, especially the first time. The best thing you can do is just… be real. You don’t need a script. You don’t need to act like someone you’re not. I promise you—relaxed is sexy.

3. You don’t have to perform.

There’s no scoreboard here. No “best of” list. Just two people having a shared experience. Whether you’re a marathon man or more of a sprinter, I’m here to meet you where you are. There’s no “right” way to do this.

4. Being kind and respectful makes a huge difference.

It’s amazing how much better everything goes when a client is just…nice. I’m not talking about over-the-top flattery (though hey, I won’t stop you). I just mean eye contact, a smile, a “thank you.” You’d be surprised how many people forget that I’m a human being too.

5. You can talk to me.

Seriously. If something’s on your mind—if you’re nervous, or shy, or unsure—I’d rather you tell me than try to tough it out in silence. I’m a good listener, and chances are, I’ve heard it before. Plus, talking makes the whole thing feel more real and less like a transaction.

6. When you enjoy yourself, I enjoy myself.

This might be the most important one. When you’re present, engaged, smiling, breathing, feeling—it’s infectious. It makes me feel appreciated, connected, and honestly, it makes the whole experience better for both of us.

So that’s it. Just a few things I wish more guys knew. I know not everyone reads my blogs (I mean, you should, but still), so if you made it this far—thank you. And if any of this rings true, even better.

Because at the end of the day, I’m not just here to show up—I’m here to connect. And when we both show up, it’s magic.