7/21/25 Coming Back to Myself

Last week, something felt really off. I was flat. Numb. Disconnected from everything I usually care about. I couldn’t make decisions. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I felt like I was unraveling, piece by piece, and I couldn’t figure out why.

And then I realized what happened.

I forgot to put my Abilify—my antidepressant—into my daily pill organizer. I had gone about a week and a half without it. Just one small slip-up, and suddenly the world lost its color. I thought it was about people. I thought it was about my health. I thought it was maybe just “me.” But it wasn’t. It was depression. Quiet, creeping, and so damn convincing.

The truth is, depression lies. It whispers that everything is broken, that you’re alone, that nothing feels right. And it’s very good at pretending to be the truth.

But now that the fog is lifting, I can see things more clearly. I feel like myself again—funny, sharp, strong, interested. My energy is returning. I can feel joy again.

And just in time. Yesterday, I had a fantastic party with a bunch of my high school friends. We laughed and reminisced and hugged and told stories that have grown funnier with time. It reminded me of who I am, how far I’ve come, and what it feels like to be grounded in connection.

So yes—lesson learned: always double-check the damn pill organizer. And never, ever forget that depression is a master of disguise.

If you’re ever in that fog, please hang on. Don’t believe everything your brain says when it’s sick. The light does come back. And so do you.